Second , first kiss…

As a young girl, I had seen first kisses in the black and white films I would sit a watch with my nana on a rainy Saturday afternoon. The would always be the beautiful woman, with her handsome beau, who swept her in to his waiting arms and soundly kissed, and then held her to his chest and rested his check against hers. The was always music with sweep strings and a gentle wood wind section, that would build with the passion of the kiss. That’s what I thought my first kiss was going to be like, 1940’s frock and hair, handsome older guy and passion.
So, when I finally got my first kiss with a boy at the tender age of 14, well I was in for a very rude awaking! It was so far from what I got. He was older than me by all of 2 months. He was spotty, with overly gelled hair and stunk of lynx deodorant. It was on a cold November lunch time, behind the school kitchen. The was no sweeping music as he grabbed my face, stuck his tongue in my mouth and tried to stick his hand inside my shirt. The thing that really put me off was him sticking his tongue so far down my throat that I gagged on it. After that I kind of gave up on the whole idea of kissing boys and anyhow 5 weeks after ‘the kiss’ I got kicked out of that school and sent to a PRU (I had been kicked out of 3 schools already).
‘My second ever proper kiss could not have been more different from the first. For starters, it was with a girl. See from a real young age I have known that I was attracted to both boys and girls. I also knew that I liked girlie girl, boobs, bums and curves. Long hair, dresses, and lipstick. The wonderful girl I shared my second, first kiss with was almost perfect, she had long blond hair and this whole Jo Whiley post grange look going on. She had curves and boobs, but also a quiet conference that I now know that I love in a partner. It happened in the garden of a friend’s house, after a long day of sunbathing and after a few drinks. We were sat talking and suddenly, she leant over and just kissed me, barely touching her lips to mine. I pulled back in shock and she backed off straight away and started to apologise for miss reading thing. I did know more than lean in to her, shush her and kiss her again this time harder, but still with a soft touch and lightness that had been missing in my first kiss. After a few seconds, I felt her tongue brush against lower lip and I opened my mouth to let the kiss deepen. I got lost in those long minutes of gentle passion and soft creases. But when I felt her finger touch the underside of my breast, I ember pulling back, letting out a whimper and her asking if it was ok. Was it ok?! Hell yes! We moved closer together and carried on kissing and groping over clothes for what seemed like hours, but then we heard footsteps and we sprang apart. It wasn’t the last kiss we shared and she was the first women I made love to, it did not last long a few weeks if that. She went off to uni and I had exams and life to deal with. But I will always ember my second first kiss, with a fondness, a blush, and a tighting in my tummy.


Pixie x x x x

Where in the world is Pixie Heart…. Family update!

So I wont be posting my diary last week this week, due to the fact most of are little family came done with food poising middle of last week. Babe and little bear just had bad tummies and kept being sick , but poor kitten was really poorly and went all grey and weak. I was pretty sick too and what with being diabetic and having 2 sprogs on the boil was really frightened. I manged to pass out coming back from the bathroom.So maîtriser insisted me and kitten had to go to the ER. fluids, medicine and a few hours rest and we got to go home. Maîtriser said he knew we were feeling better as we both start flirting with the hot nurse looking after us. (i dispute this as i was poorly and had jammies and slippers on). So the rest of the week was written off as R & R. One really down side to all the vomiting and pooping, was i could not take any meds for 3 days. now thats not that bad, but suffering from serve depression and GAD , i take a lot of meds to control that. Not taking them ment not only did my mood plummet, but i also went through a sort of withdrawal sort of thing. That is hell on earth! So i had a sort of total break down over letting people down, not being good enough and that i was also just a massive pain in the bum. maîtriser was really lovely about it and looked after me. I was made to have a sofa day on saturday and on sunday i was made to sit on the deck in the sun and rest! 

So not doing my diary , maîtriser said I should post a little update on are nutty little family, so here goes!

Maîtriser – Turns out that the Boss Man has been having secret cooking lessons from my great aunty may! He said , that as his going to be a father , he needs to be able to cook! He manged to break my favorite bedroom collar 😦 i got really upset and cried 😦 so he has arranged for my friend to fix it for me 🙂 and to make up for breaking it i got to pick 3 new collars! 

Babe – has been resting up over the weekend like the rest of us, but has done loads of sun bathing and reading. She has also given us all hair cuts too! Today she got a tiny tattoo behind her ear of a forget me not, I honor of her sister who died 🙂 She has very kindly made my a timetable for my social media, using glitter gel pens and stickers!

Kitten – After being super poorly 😦 she needed lots of cuddle and looking after! Friday was a very big day for . Kitten when she was little had a drug problem and maîtriser made her go through NA. well Friday was her 12 year of being clean and sober! So on sunday we all sat and listen to the Loving BDSM podcast (Loving BDSM), and at the end the wonderful Kayla and her daddy gave kitten a shout out and wished her a happy 12th birthday! We also had a little tea party on sunday afternoon and we got her a new charm for her bracelet. Today kitten got her belly button pierced!

Mouse (me) – well passed out , vomited a lot , had a break down and rested up. I am loving be pregnant, but I can now only just see my toes! I am not allowed piercings or tattoos till after I drop, so I got a new set of jammies , a new book and some new earrings! I also got an email saying that I passed my foundation degree in mixed humanities and art, with a GPA off 4.00. So a yay me!

Well that’s us, how are you all doing?


Pixie x x x x


How Will You Handle Conflict in D/s?

So today , well last nights topic of discussion with Loving BDSM 30 days of D/s was conflict in D/s and how we handle it. Now I have to admit that I / we changed the title straight away to falling outs and differences in opinions. Not that the is anything wrong with the title , but just the word Conflict is one of those words , that to me brings up very sad memories , that I find it hard to talk about or think about.

Let me explain. I was born and raised in Belfast . I grow up in the Shankill area of the city. Half my daddy’s family is from southern Ireland and half is Northern Irish, half Catholic and Half protestant. I was raised and still am a catholic, but growing up in the troubles and especially coming from the Shankill area was horrid. I grew up with bombings, being walked to and from school by the fathers and the sisters , people going missing and with English soldiers walking the roads with their guns. I Would not of swabbed my up bring for the most part. I come from Close family , who although they drive me up the wall, I love with my whole heart. But no child should see some of the things I did , to go to bed frightened and to of seen the violence I did . That is why I grimiest when people say they have major ‘Conflict’ at home. it makes me want to say to them, ‘ no mate you have troubles or falling outs, not bloody conflict!’ Sorry rant over!

So back to how we handle fillings out and differing opinions . Well as with everything we have rules about that type of thing. Firstly if someone does stuff that bugs us , instead of letting it fester away , we politely tell the person and ask them to stop doing it. Sounds way harder than it is , but you would amazed at how well it works! We also have family meetings once a week and that is the time we raise things that need to be sorted out. things like Bear always leave the top off the tea caddy, kitten dropping towels on the bedroom floor , Babe coming in and turning the TV over and me always forgetting to hang the dogs leads up. Lol All us girls even took a stand against maître and his sing of Justine Bieber songs! (I mean dude your like 52 years old!) . We also have a no swearing rule and a swear jar. We also have a no shouting rule, that was put in place as I suffer from PTSD and bear is really noise sensitive.

If we have a differing opinion from maître, again we talk about as soon as it happens and we don’t let it fester away. All he asks is that we don’t raise are voice , we are polite and listen to what he has to say on the matter. But we also know that everything he asks of us , is done with are wellbeing at heart and is done with love. If we are out and we think his being silly , over protective or if we don’t agree with him or if feel unable to cope with stuff , we ask politely and quietly to speak in privet with him. Again it seems to work a treat. it may seem odd that we don’t just do as we are told and that are Lovely Dom does not rule with a sort of iron will, but his not like that. he is a quiet man, who is calm and understanding. he shocks me by the depth of emotion n and feel that he is willing to show. it makes me smile to remember him saying to me before we got together , that he likes his submissive with brains and wills of their on , that he loves the ones who have spirit and fight in them. it means they feel and love with all of their souls!

strangely the one time we are likely to fall out is at dinner time. That is why I put in place my nana’s rule of no talk of history, politics , religion , spot or other people business at the meal table! haha she raised 11 kids and 47 grand kids and I don’t think I ever saw one fight at dinner!

maître says the is one week a month that he fears for his safety. Well living with for females does come with that’s a down side. He makes sure the house is full of Wine , chocolate , chick flick , ice cream and tissues , and if all that fails he hides in the pub for a few days!

of course we have times we will grump at each other or piss someone off. If that happens we get made to hug each other , cos you can’t want to hate someone your hugging, right??? (my nana again, very wise lady!)

So that’s us and are ways of dealing with fulling outs and differing opinions!


Pixie x x x x x

Ps a song that reminds me of the town I loved so well! The High kings – The town i loved so well


Girl Dates.


One of the things I love about the way we live and are rules is the fact that the girls and I have a weekly ‘Date night’. It is one of the few times that the boss man lets us out on our own, without some form of male protector. The are with everything we do, rules for date night, not because our Dom is a control freak, but to keep us safe and maybe so we still know who is in charge, just a little bit!

The rules are , dress in a lady like manner, no swearing , no misbehaving without asking and one person is to stay sober . We are to hold hands when walking about, we are not to losing sight of each other and Babe is in charge. (I think that’s code for she is the only one of us that is half sensible!) . Apart from that we are free to go and do what we want.

We have an unspoken rule, that we take it in turns choosing what we do on date nights. Babe will always choose a posh dinner, dancing and drinks or something cultural. (that’s code for shit that you need to think about and act classy). Little bear, well her date night is all about fun, cuteness, and giggles, pretty much her in date form! Normally food (Jackson and rye or Nando’s), Dirty milkshakes and either the cinema or bowling. Kitten and I, well are taste are similar really. We are more likely to choose something that we can just kick back and chillax doing or get sweaty doing. We seem to do a lot of sports or gig watching, but also, we both have a love of the theatre. Musicals, plays and the ballet are favs!

Now we do stick to the rule of acting like ladies, most of the time. But they are times when, things take, how can I put it, umm well I guess and odd turn?! Usually if someone has a few drinks. I should say that me and kitten are tots light weights, I mean like a 3 beers limit. Babe is a tough welsh girl and can drink most men under the table. Little bear well she gets pissed on the fumes from a g & T. Also, if me or little one have too much sugar, msg, or caffeine well, yes! Lol


We have had some memorable date nights. The was the time we went to a club and me and little one really needed a wee, but the was a massive cue, so we shared a cubical, each turning around to let the other pee in privacy. When we went to get out bear went first and it being a very small cubical and her boobies rather large, the door got wedge in-between them. I had to climb over the top to get out and then get a doorman to help get her out. The was the time that babe decided we should go to Croydon and after a few beers insisted we went to Ikea. Kitten when drunk will tend to wander off and find a quiet spot for a nap. She did this and we lost her for an hour and a half, panicked I had to try and explain I had lost my drunk girl friend to a very shocked and worried looking employ. She was found asleep in a wardrobe, but not after we had to launch a store wide kitten hunt! Oh, the shame!


But it’s not even when we drink that things become interesting. The was my ice-skating date, that we had been on for 15 mins when bear tried to do a turn, misplaced her foot, did a back flip and land on her head. Well, because she kind of knocked herself out for 3 mins we had to go to the hospital, in a blinking ambulance, blue lights, and all! Kitten decided a couple of weeks ago, to go to a trampoline park for a date night. Well I stupidly wore a low-cut t-shirt and a huddle, not thinking that jumping about for an hour would get hot in a hoddie and not wearing the right bra, my left boobie decided to fall out in front of a group of 14-year-old lads, on a birthday party. Oh, and the was my choice of going and doing rock climbing (in doors) and babe wore her super sexy leggings. With tight harness and kitten keeping the rope tight, it meant that not only did Babe get a wedgie but she lost her grip, fell, and somehow split her leggings in half. Thankfully we managed to fashion a makeshift skirt out of a hoodie. if nothing else we can say we are the queens of functional improvisation!


We also have date night when we ask if we can misbehave and if maistier say yes, well that is when the real fun and games happen. The was the time we teamed up in pairs, kitten, and me v babe and little bear, to see how many men or women’s phone numbers we could get. Kitten and I got 34, but babe did her Dom thing with little one and got 67! Mistier set as each the challenge of how many nipples each of us could lick in one night, I’m very proud to say that I won, with 98 nipples in one night! Kitten and I also hold a record of how quickly we can make a guy come without touching him. 4 ½ mins on that front! Well we do like to tag team men and we do pole dance and burlesque classes for fun. Babe likes it if Matsier puts her in charge on nights out, but then we like that, cos well she is good at it and is rather delicious. The things she does or makes us do in front of men, can be bloody obscene at times.


But the best thing about them is the fact that we giggle nonstop, have fun and it is spending time together and just enjoying each other. The is the bonus that we get to smooch, hold hands and we’ll have PDA that make men hard and women jealous as hell that we can do that to men, just acting the way we do!


Might have to share what family date nights are like, they are X-rated though, any takers?!

Love and Hugs ,

Pixie x x x x