Me, my tattoos and I…

Me, my tattoos, and I…
Ok so a while ago some one said I should make a list of all my tattoos, noting when and why I got them, and what they mean to me . I should point out that I have a HUGE thing for tattoos! (slight under statement there I think) I have 35 of them and for me they all have special meanings. when it comes to people and their tattoos, well I it kind of hits me on a lot of different level. I personally see tattoos as an art form. Some of the work I’ve seen over the years, simple blows me away. It takes a lot of time and skill to be able to draw something complex, beautiful, and detailed on someone’s skin! I also have a thing for the Pinup look on women and tattoos seem to sit beautifully with that look. Mistresses or female tops with tattoos turn my in to a little subbie puddle. Dom males with muscles, breads and tattoos and I’m making puddles! (phaw! You should see the boss man with his shirt off!!!!). When I first met maîtriser, before we were what we are now, I remember him sitting with me at a club and telling what and why and the meaning of his tattoos. I guess it was one of the first things I feel in love with him for. I mean no other person I knew, would sit with me, and talk about tattoos, cos I was drunk and sad.
So, I have made a list, starting at the top and ending at the bottom, well my feet!
1. Feather behind my right ear. I got this done after my nana passed away. My granddad always said that me and my nana were very alike. he also said we were like feather, we looked like we could break, but we were stronger than we look. So, I got it to feel close to my grandparents, who meant the world to me and who I miss every day!
2. Black paw print inside a blue heart, centre of shoulder blades. Simply down cos of my love of all things dog. I retrained as a dog trainer and then as a behaviourist.
3. Left shoulder blade, skull, and cross bones (waiting to be finished with waves round it). I love pirates and the sea. With the waves, it will become a half sleeve. Also makes me look tough and bad ass, although maîtriser said I’m about as frightening as baby sloth!
4. Left shoulder, back Japanese characters for – Protection, calm, and strength. These were done when I went off to uni, kind of an act of rebel. My mother hates tattoos on women so it was a way of sticking 2 fingers up at her. Everyone was getting Chinese catchers, so to be a little different I went with Japanese’s!
5. Crescent moon and 4 stars right shoulder on my back. The moon is for a fiend I lost to cancer at school (she was 15) and the 4 stars are friends I lost to Aids, every time I loses a friend I add a star.
6. Double over lapping Heart under moon in black and blue. First tattoo I got done at the age of 15! I got it done, again to piss my mum off, but it’s in the same spot as the one my daddy has on his back and its almost identical to his! I love my daddy!
7. Writing under left boob in Gallic ‘Never by force ‘
8. Writing under right boob in Gallic ‘never without consent’
9. Middle of chest between boobs Gallic ‘always with love’ so I had other writing first, but after I split from my ex I decided I wanted to change to something to remind me that no one has the right to use force on me to get what they want. So my friend John came up with this! It’s in Gallic as that is what I grew up. (mixed with Russian)
10. Under gallic script, gothic scroll work and heart. Had this done last year as I wanted to make it a feature. I really love the whole gothic art look so that is what my friend john went for.
11. Left forearm black heart and J+n – part laser removed. Drunk tattoo from the first bulldog bash (biker festival) I was having it removed by lazer, but it triggered my vitiligo so I’m now going to get a cover up, just don’t know what!
12. Right wrist arrow and Warr; or. So, this is a tattoo that means a huge amount to me. I had it done 4 hours after I was realised from hospital after trying to take my life. I had been in hospital 3 ½ months and it had been an uphill struggle to get myself to the point that they let me go home. The; is to mark that my story is not over and the warrior is now how I look at life and mental illness. I fight it every day of my life, from that point on!
13. Middle of back, pentagram – Again to piss my mum off, but also cos it looks pretty.
14. Small of back New Zealand tribal shield. I think this was the 3rd one I got done and I just adore it. My friend john did this one and it was a first for both of us, as it was done without any outline and free hand!
15. Left hip RAF sweet heart wings, RAF covered by a red heart now. My Granddad, my daddy and my Ex were all in the RAF. I Got sweetheart wings done cos I was very much in love with my ex and he wanted a sort of mark of ownership. I am very supersites and direct refused to have his name on me, so I went for sweetheart wings. I got the RAF part covered over after we split.
16. Goth tinker bell right hip. Get this done at the age of 17, it was a straight tinker bell, till a few years later when I started hanging out on the fetish scene and really got in to the goth style of clothing and make up.
17. Left bum check Good girl (Cherry that was above it lazered.) Got this done when drunk on holiday with my ex in Malaga. Oh the shame! I got the cherry that was above it removed, as well I lost that cherry a long time ago!
18. Under left bum check ‘666’ brand style tattoo. Again, drunk tattoo done at the bull dog bash! Growing up my parents had hoped for a boy, but after having me my mother was unable to have more kids. For her it left her not really liking me and blaming me for the lack of sons. For my daddy, it meant that all the things he would have done with a son, he did with me. Fishing, rugby, and motorbikes! I learnt to ride 2 up at like 4, to ride a scrambler at 6 and trials bikes at 8. I went on to do trails and motocross till I was 20. then I went on to learn to road race and then drag race. All Ong with road racing came biker festivals as a teen. To this day, for me and my daddy motorbikes are a passion and something I could bore you all with more, but I won’t today!
19. Left thigh scare turned in to a creator. Hmmm, this is going to be tough to explain, so bear with me! When I was 17 I was suffering from my first bout of grown up depression, I was hiding it and just how bitterly unhappy I was. It got to a point that I did not want to be here anymore so one night when out with a biker chum, I was riding 2 up, we went around a sharp bend, and I simply let go and pushed myself of the back, hoping that was it for me. Luckily, I woke 10 days later in hospital. Not so lucky was the amount of me that I had broken. I had dislocated both shoulder, broken a wrist, 4 ribs, my pelvis, and all the bones in my left leg. I got help and I heald, but I was left with a narly scare on my left thigh. My friend john, knowing how much I hated it, turned it in to a creator and add other smaller tattoos to cover the small scare that I had on my thigh too!
20. Upper left thigh, small red flower. Love flower and this covers where I had meatal frame to help my leg heal.
21. Upper left thigh, k9 from Doctor who. I love dogs and doctor who, so why not?!
22. Left thigh at the back-Celtic knot. I’ m really proud of my Celtic roots and love not work!
23. Back of left thigh Irish cLruder. The boss man has the same one over his left pec. We got them done when we got engaged!
24. Outer left thigh part of do not go gentle in to the light. It reads’ Do not go gentle into that good night.’ Love this poem, love Dylan Thomas and this is my way of saying ‘I’m not going to give up on anything without a fight!’ I also read this at my nana’s funeral.

25. Left thigh, butterfly with purple wings. This was done to show that I’m a survivor of domestic abuse and that by talking openly about it that I have been set free from it!
26. Left thigh, mermaid. Just love mermaid!
27. Inside left thigh, Arabic script saying, ‘what makes you different, makes you beautiful’. I have a little Arab blood in me and I love this saying.
28. Inside left thigh ‘So very thankful’ this was done after I Od at uni, but survived it!
29. Left inside thigh shooting star. Got this done in houner of a friend who died working in the mild east.
30. right inside thigh 3 red hearts, covering up kisses. Got this changed after getting together with my little poly family. Each heart is one of the girls!
31. Under right bum cheek, dragon in the style of the one from the hobbit. Love the hobbit and love the art work in the book.
32. Inside left thigh, Latin saying ‘love conquers all’ For the Frenchman, cos it does and it did!
33. Right outer ankle bone, small blue rose. My granddad had this on his forearm and had it done when he was serving in japan after ivy day bringing home POW. I remember him telling us some horrendous stories as kids. Any how I liked it and got it done.
34. Left outer ankle bone, black flaming heart. HAHA, this is my Bicker tattoo. I have this same heart on the tanks of all my bikes. #biker
35. Under flaming heart, the word Ohana. Get this done very recently and is the same as the ones the girls got done. We are all fans of Lilo and stitch and love the meaning of this word. It kind sums are little family up I think!
So that is all of them not sure why this has, but I cried a little writing it. I have not thought about some of them for a long while. Most bring back happy thoughts and memories, but some a harder to remember. I need to say a specail thank you to kitten for helping me list them all and for the Frenchman for not distracting me from writing this. Also, I want to say sorry to the poor mail man for making you fall over when you saw some tattooed, naked chick sat at her kitchen table writing!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

The diary of Pixie Heart – 12/6/17 –

Monday 12th June 2017: 6am – Up and at them! so happy and got my bounce back!!! Woke you up how I’m meant too as well!

6.20 am – yay shower with Babe! she is so kind and even shaved my legs for me! getting out to find you chose my cloths for me again made me really happy! Purple Maxie dress, no bra and black lace boy shorts, with my Birkenstocks sandles! hair up in a messy bun and light make up. I look really pregnant today :/

7am – See I is all better! I made you steak and eggs! thank you for making me my breakfast smoothy! toast and fruit for me and the girls , but aunty may is having a fry up!

8qm – do you have to go to work?! you could stay home and we could fuck?!

8.30 am – squeak! tattoos and piercing for the girls !!! thank you for my treats as well , I know and understand why I’m not allowed to get them till after sprogging.

9.15am –  ok need to pee again! could you ask you kids to stop jumping on their poor mothers blader!

10am – made it in the city, but dear god is it hot and sticky!

12am  – tattoos and piercings done! Babe did not flinch and Kitten just swore a lot. Little bear, well she cried, ouched and nearly broke my fingers off! I had to feed her spirit and animal crackers the whole time and a bar of chocolate after!

1pm – ok so back on the eating for the whole family! banana milkshake, bean bugger, sweet potato fries and fried pickles. with a massive tomato and spinach salad! don’t judge , but I want ice cream too!

3pm – Shopping done! I can’t hide my bum any more and I have actually bought maternity jean! also finally got outfits for the conferees sorted!

3.30pm – home just in time for a nap and I’m taking Kitten with me, cos I need muddles! Frenchie I passed my foundation degree! and a 4.00 GPA!

5pm – Woken up by a kiss from you! oh you are so coming to bed for a bit , I have a Kitten and I’m not afraid to use her!

6pm – see I knew we need a Dom cuddle session! I love when you put us across the bed and let us kiss and play with boobies , while you keep swooping sides and who you fuck! also love you growling heads down, bums up!

7pm – hehehe! pizza and salad take out , cos we was fucking!

8pm – bath time and Babe reading to me as a treat!

9pm – Why do I need to go to bed at 9pm and with little bear? I’m not tired!!!

Tuesday 13th June 2017 – 5.30am – Ok I was super tired! Good lord I need to pee so bad already!

5.45 am – ok can we snuggle?! and yes by that I mean I feel frisky 😉

6.30am – hehehe, that was fun and by god was it nice to make Babe come like that! Shower time now buster, you are not kissing my aunty with your beard smelling and tasting like me!

7.15 what has gotten in to you?!?! not that I did not like that .you washing me, and than bending me over  , planting my hands on the wall, pushing my feet apart and then just fucking me! oh and the shower head on pulse on my clit, dear god in heaven sweetheart!

7.30 am – ok have you got a new Lolita look kinky going on?! loving the cut off overalls and mini mouse vest top and sandles look tough! oh and by the way I love the light makeup and pigtail look!

7.45am- FOOD!!! I had a bowl of bran flakes with a banana , 2 slice of toast and a boiled egg, 3 figs and yoghurt and a massive glass of milk!

8.30am – I still have to do English lesson?! oh poop!

10.30am – Bloody hell! that was tough! Right pee time and off to look at community college for me!

12.30pm  – Yay I want to go here so bad! they have great arts and writing programs, they do a start-up your own business thing , and an amazing chace for the babies!

1.15pm – we got to meet you for lunch! salad , soup and bread ! and more fruit and yoghurt! and cuddled and kisses for me!

2.30pm – So yeah we seem to of made in to maceys again! oppsssie!

4pm – Home for a nap on the deck in the sun , and yes I have sun cream and hat on!

5pm – woken up by a kiss again! oh and ice tea, nice touch!

6pm – aunty may and little bear made chips, veggie fingers and peas and corn!

7pm – family tv time!

10pm – time to get ready for bed?! yes Boss!

11pm – bed time story was inspired chose dude! cuddles and sleepy time!

Wednesday 14th June 2017: 4.20 am – So yeah I’m awake and yeah I sort of kind of woke you up to , but baby names are not going to choose themselves Frenchie!

5.45am – So we got names sorted, birth stuff sorted and a plan for baby shopping done! thank handsome for indulging me and just letting me talk it all out of my little head!

6am – shower time , come on get your butt In their mr! little t is not going to clean himself, that is my   job!

6.20am – Clean! today I have decided to wear a blue summer dress with sandle, hair in pigtail and light make up! yes I will wear a hat and yes I will have my water bottle with me!

6.45am – I’m making waffles and bacon! mine and Kittens will have fresh fruit and yoghurt with them!

7.30 am – do you have to got to work?!? We could all go swimming or kidnap Sir beasty and …. *pouts, stamps foot and looks sad*.

8.30 am – so we have decided we need to go by mor panties at target, no really we do!

10.15am – Ok so panties seems to of turned into baby, dog and house shopping trip to target! oh and can you please talk to little bear about what she says in public and how loudly she says it please? Today we had ‘ Pixie I love reading sex toy reviews on your twitter feed, when are we going to start doing them? The 4 of us masturbate enough’ . the worse part is aunty may was doubled over laughing!

11.30am – ok So you rock frechie! getting home to find you have a massive food parcel delivered and its got a picnic for us to have on the deck, holy mother is that ace!

12.30pm – So sitting on the deck, under a sun awning and eating with the girls is heaven! so soing this all of next summer with the babies!

2.30pm – Sleepy now ….

5.10pm – awww I crashed again, didn’t I! thank you for waking me up with a kiss, but  what’s with the bag and card!?!?

5.30pm – I’m Skyping your mother I don’t care what time it is! that is like the signal most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me!

6.30pm  – So I have stopped crying , for now! no I will not take my sparkly ring off , your mamma gave it to me! Chinese food tonight and a Game off-chance! yup I think are nerd is showing!

9pm – I did not cheat! My boobies look huge all the time! why is Aunty May going to bed early again, what are you up to?!?

11pm – Mercy , I call mercy! my bits are too sensitive! good grief, where the flip do you a) come up with this, b) get your energy and c) how do you get the girl to do that?!

12pm- Ok so your aftercare rocks! bagels, hot milk , lotion , pj’s and a bed time story , night you wonderful man! x

Thursday 15th June 2017: 6.20am – Tired and sorely , can I stay in bed?!? Ok a shower with kitten it is 🙂

6.40am – Really love the fact that it would appear I’m going to be doing the bare foot and pregnant look today! I am also loving you choice of undies, or should I say a thong and that’s it! light make, hair in a mess bun , and red lippy! you know I’m horny right?!?!

7am – big breakfast! piggedout.com

8am – Do you have to go to work?! oh meetings and people be damned! *stamps foot, pouts and hides your shoes*

8.30am – chore list says to take it easy and 4 hours of writing. I want to do washing and clean the kitchen!!!!

9.30 am – So you wont stay home, you teased me to the point of coming last night and now I’m horny, resting and allowed my phone! you have been warned, Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

9.45am – boobies pic and suggestive quotes it is then!

10.30am- I can’t focus to write and I’m wriggley , please can I go read and have a wank, please!!!

12pm – soup a salad and we bread for lunch! can I 69 with Kitten , please!!!

1pm – I told you I was going tease yah! please, please,please can I go calm myself down?!?

2pm – I’m going to exploded soon! Why has Babe got her evil grin on ?

3pm – Oh you delightfully twisted sod! edging and control practice at the hands of Babe, Yummy! bring it on dude!

4pm – Nap time, Babe let me come and I is now exhausted. Zzzzzzz

5.30pm – your home a full hour early and whats in the bag??

6pm – dinner of homemade veggie starfy and sticky rice!!!

6.45pm – What’s in the bag?!?! oh and yes I love dvd in the family room!

8.15pm – Bath time with little bear. I think she might of put too much bubble bath in though?

8.35 pm – thank you for saving us an I really am sorry you shirt and tie got wet 😦

9pm – why don’t I have my jammies?

11pm – uncle! stop, I can’t take any more, bloody fucking Norah! So you go a new paddle and toys! I need to drink a gallon of water after that. Fuck! Oh and book on bondage for babe? Christ I’m watching my step from now on!

11.30 pm bedtime story and cuddles, best after care ever invented, night x x x x

Friday 16th June 2017: 6.30 am – ok so I’m shattered , so not having caffiene  today. only 3 days left out here, don’t want to go home 😦 So shower and get ready for the day 😦

7am – thank you for the cuddle in the shower, I feel very small and delicate. I just want to hide :(and thank for choosing my cloths!

7.15am – toast, fruit and yoghurt , and bran flakes! really wish you could be off today, but ill have fun sight-seeing with the girls!

8am – I have been thinking , but could we read the book club book together now that I don’t have home work?! just a thought 🙂

9am – good lord what the flip does it take to get a baby girl, two subs, and pregnant little out the house?? Aunty May and Muffins!

9.45am – Ok so I don’t think I could or will ever tirer of saying , ‘Oh just taking the subway in to Manhattan’ London and paris are great to look round , but it is awesome here!

12pm – Lunch and a sit down! Cripps my feet hurt and I’m all hot! Not sure if little bear and aunty May liked the art as much as the rest of us, but will be happy with the aquarium .

5pm – Off to meet you from work! love doing this so much! and going out to eat after work to!

7pm – Stuffed! I love the fact that over here the don’t think I mental for just having side!

8pm – I’m tired out , can I just chill and watch tv? oh and can I have my foot rub early, Please???

10.30pm ok bed time story and sleeps!

Saturday 17th June 2017: 5am – So I’m freaking out , it is less that a week to the conference and I am in a different country! I should be helping them all out and pulling my weight. also I have only jus realised that I’m doing a whole flipping hour and that I am freaking on in between like amazing speakers! Thank you for saying I could get up and write. brain is moving at a million miles an hour!

6am – so got that all out my head! thank god , I never knew how much of the stuff I worry about is actually really nothing for me to worry about at all! silly pixie! so shower and get dressed , then breakfast Skype call with steve!

8am – Ok so defo nothing to worry about on the conference side of things , admin Alison is on it! all I need to do is to booster my confidence and yay!

9am – family day! ok I’m voting for sitting on the deck and reading or an Underworld marathon!

12pm – yay we finally get to have burgers on the deck cooked on the grill!

1pm- what do you mean by ‘cute’ when I eat chilles and lime;)

2pm movie time!

3.45 pm – ok so , yeah , hi….. did I full asleep again!?

5pm – One last pizza and salad blow out before we go!

7pm- eaten too much , can’t move! Movie and early night!

9pm – so I have woken up now its time to go to sleep!

11pm – hehehe! I wore Little bear out! Babe gave her a good old spanking too! But best bit was tag teaming you with kitten! I may be 4 moth pregnant , but I still got moves and I know damned well how to use them!

Sunday 18th June 2017 – 6am – up and at them buster! yup plan home day! really don’t want to go , but hopefully next time will be back with babies and back for good! So get that cute butt in the shower!

7am – everyone up, showered and ready for one last breakfast t the dinner!

8.30am – I am going to miss this place so much!

9.30 am – Ok so packing time! yay! {(not)

12.30 – Last lunch at our little dinner 😦 can we not stay?!)

1.45pm – Keys dropped off

2.pm- I’m just going to put this here, I’m not having ago or moaning or being a brat, but I really don’t want to go home. I don’t want to deal with my family, work or the midwife. I want to stay sat on the deck , chilling and taking naps. but I have to be an adult and go home, but I just want to say I was super happy here and cant wait to come back for good.

5pm – get the feeling sir beasty might be majorly pissed at me 😦

6.17pm- I have never been more willing to take sleep meds and just sleep the whole way home!

1/6am – I have time traveled and I’m almost home, night or morning Frenchie…

Well I have made it home to my quiet little corner of the uk! I’m kind of sad to be home, sure I get to the dogs, my god kids and nieces and nephews, but I was really happy and felt settled in New Jersey . So I will rest today and be back on top tomorrow!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

 

 

 

Where in the world is Pixie Heart…. Family update!

So I wont be posting my diary last week this week, due to the fact most of are little family came done with food poising middle of last week. Babe and little bear just had bad tummies and kept being sick , but poor kitten was really poorly and went all grey and weak. I was pretty sick too and what with being diabetic and having 2 sprogs on the boil was really frightened. I manged to pass out coming back from the bathroom.So maîtriser insisted me and kitten had to go to the ER. fluids, medicine and a few hours rest and we got to go home. Maîtriser said he knew we were feeling better as we both start flirting with the hot nurse looking after us. (i dispute this as i was poorly and had jammies and slippers on). So the rest of the week was written off as R & R. One really down side to all the vomiting and pooping, was i could not take any meds for 3 days. now thats not that bad, but suffering from serve depression and GAD , i take a lot of meds to control that. Not taking them ment not only did my mood plummet, but i also went through a sort of withdrawal sort of thing. That is hell on earth! So i had a sort of total break down over letting people down, not being good enough and that i was also just a massive pain in the bum. maîtriser was really lovely about it and looked after me. I was made to have a sofa day on saturday and on sunday i was made to sit on the deck in the sun and rest! 

So not doing my diary , maîtriser said I should post a little update on are nutty little family, so here goes!

Maîtriser – Turns out that the Boss Man has been having secret cooking lessons from my great aunty may! He said , that as his going to be a father , he needs to be able to cook! He manged to break my favorite bedroom collar 😦 i got really upset and cried 😦 so he has arranged for my friend to fix it for me 🙂 and to make up for breaking it i got to pick 3 new collars! 

Babe – has been resting up over the weekend like the rest of us, but has done loads of sun bathing and reading. She has also given us all hair cuts too! Today she got a tiny tattoo behind her ear of a forget me not, I honor of her sister who died 🙂 She has very kindly made my a timetable for my social media, using glitter gel pens and stickers!

Kitten – After being super poorly 😦 she needed lots of cuddle and looking after! Friday was a very big day for . Kitten when she was little had a drug problem and maîtriser made her go through NA. well Friday was her 12 year of being clean and sober! So on sunday we all sat and listen to the Loving BDSM podcast (Loving BDSM), and at the end the wonderful Kayla and her daddy gave kitten a shout out and wished her a happy 12th birthday! We also had a little tea party on sunday afternoon and we got her a new charm for her bracelet. Today kitten got her belly button pierced!

Mouse (me) – well passed out , vomited a lot , had a break down and rested up. I am loving be pregnant, but I can now only just see my toes! I am not allowed piercings or tattoos till after I drop, so I got a new set of jammies , a new book and some new earrings! I also got an email saying that I passed my foundation degree in mixed humanities and art, with a GPA off 4.00. So a yay me!

Well that’s us, how are you all doing?

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

The diary of Pixie Heart – 29/5/17 to 4/6/17

So here is my diary from last week! it seems to mainly be about babies, food and fucking , but that seems to be what my life is full of at the moment! Hope you enjoy and have a giggle at my what I call ‘life’. lol

Mouse’s Diary:

Monday 29th May 2017: 5.30am – I have woken up feeling very needy and horny. But after last night’s telling off I don’t know if it’s ok to wake you up or not L Going with it being ok or a least that telling you is ok?!?!

6.30am – Right choice mouse! Got a shag and cuddles! Hustled straight in the shower with little bear and told no touching!

6.45 am – out shower to find my green fern print playsuit, matching pink bra and panties, and pink cardia laid  out waiting. Babe is on the case of trying to get my hair to coaptate and doing makeup!

7am – Pills taken, neb done, bs level 4.1. Breakfast made for me, by you. I had fruit and yoghurt, two slices of whole grain toast and a boiled egg. Reading to Aunty May.

7.30am – Walked belle, on lead for 45 mins. Puffed out when I got home. Cuddled on the sofa with kitten and watched the news. I still feel daft that I don’t understand it allL

8.45am – Home work time! Thank you for sitting with me and helping me with it. I get lost with it sometimes, but I don’t feel silly when you help me!

10.45am – Snack time – glass of milk, two breadsticks, a carrot, stick of celery, 5 radishes and 3 tbsp. of hummus. Back to writing a blog post.

11.55am – Thank you for letting me do the laundry. I know I must take it easy and rest up, but I also love doing the cloths washing, I find it calming!

1pm – BS level 5.2. Lunchtime. Grilled cheese sandwich, tomatoes, and spinach salad, with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Bananas and custard!

1.45pm – Walking at the park. Aunty May stayed home with Little bear as her tummy is still poorly. Its’s so lovely  here. I wish we could stay. I really don’t want to go home and face my family in a few weeks!

3pm – Ok afternoon snack of an ice cream and strawberry sundae rocks!

3.30pm – Nap times with Kitten and little bear! All tucked up and I was out like a light in under 5 mins, tied little mouse! Proof you really do know what’s best! Love you x x x x

4.45pm – Yay I get to cook with my little bear! Thank you, I do love cooking for the family and if the bear helps I feel like im teaching her something that is useful and worth while!

6pm – Veggies lasagne, salad, garlic bread for dinner and apple pie and ice-cream for pudding!

7pm – Bath time with Kitten! Clean jammies, slippers on and munch made! Time for DVDs in the family room (We need one of these when we move!)

9pm – Why has Aunty May gone to bed at 9 in the evening? Why are you looking so smug?

10.30pm – Ash so it was Subby practice in the living room you had planned, was it?! Ok So super fun, I was brave and a good girl! Cuddles with Kitten are the best and Babe and Little Bear got some serious freak on!!!! So, I’ve got my neb to do, meds to take and then bed time!

11pm – Bed time and story time. Bagle and hot milk for this mouse and sleep!

Tuesday 29th May 2017: 5.45am – Ok so Fitbit said I slept right through the night! So, I woke you up for a cuddle, cos well I need one! BS 4.3

6.15am – Up meds taken, neb done and shower time with babe. Come out to find my new black satin boy shorts and bra layer out. As well as my blue jersey knee length dresss and my red converses. Babe gave me boxer braids! Wearing a little bit of makeup and my contact as requested!

7am – breakfast time. Scrambled eggs, flat bread, tomatoes, spinach cheese and chillies. With a glass of OJ on the side. Blimey Babe can cook breakfast!

7.30am – Oh bum in a jock strap, English with Bob, really!

9am – Great doctors, again! I know I need to and I must but, I bloody hate it. But then I get to go to work with you J

11am – You told sir beasty on me L oh well working in your office and the view is great. I had a chocalet and banana  protein shake for my snack is that ok?! I also had some almonds! BS 7.4

1pm – Lunch time. Grilled cheese sandwiches, soup, salad and fruit and yoghurt. I’m eating like a baby dinosaur!

1.30pm – I have just noticed the is a lock on your office door!!! Can we, please……

2.30 pm – Ok so really can we please do something?!?! PLEASE!!!! BS 8.2

3.30 pm – See I told you no one would notice and that it would make you smile! But thank you for putting me on your desk and making it all about me, I cannot tell you how much I really needed that! It’s like I feel like I’m going to exploded! Ok so I will be a good girl and curl up on the sofa and nap like a good girl!

5pm – Blimey big man! I was tired! Home time! Can we do the bus?!?!

6pm – home. Aunty May mad veggie stew and dumplings. Delicious!

6.45pm – quick tidy up and freshen up, in to my new red tea dress and off to, where are we going???

7.30pm – Open mick!!! YAY! No singing of JB though, please!!!

9pm – ok you do know I’m getting funny looks being sat on your lap, right?!?

10.30 – Pizza on the way home, Yay!

11pm- Bedtime stories when you tipsy are fun! Thank you for everything about today!

 

Wednesday 31st May 2017: 6.20am – Woke up full of beans! So, can I go take Bella for a walk now?! BS level 5.2.

6.35am – well that was nice! Thank you for having a shower with me! Also, awesome outfit. Batman panties, Red maxi sundress and sandals. No bra. 😉 Hair in a messy bun and make up. Oh, and thank you for letting take the hound out on my own!

7.20am – Lovely walk with Bella and I did not even stop for bagles!

7.30am – Yay! Aunty May made soda falls for bredie!

8am – OMG! Your letting us go to the zoo, all the little off shoots of the big zoo!!!

9am – Ok I hate having to get buses in the UK, but I can do them here, why is that? I also love the fact that men get up and offer me or aunty may a seat!

10am – ZOO!!!

11.15am – Ok had 2 scoops of ice-cream and a banana as snack! Baba said it was ok!

1pm – Lunch time – Cheese salad sandwich, soup (leek and potato), apple and banana. Little bear got told about meeting people next Friday and pipped up in the lunch cue ‘Do I need to take condoms to meet them’ What the flip does she think we going to be doing?!?!?

3pm – So sorry I made Babe ring you. I just worried about missing my afternoon nap. So, I have decided at of the 3 options given, that I will go to bed and hour early. Little bear said she will come with me so I don’t have to go on my own! I had a 2 apples, cheese, and oat cakes for my snack!

5.30pm – Yay! Getting to meet you from work is ace and with all of us is epically ace! Bus home is quite fun and you smooth for caring Aunties May’s bag!

6.30pm – Mexican food and ice-cream for dinner! Bus level 8.5

7pm – I can’t do the Xbox, it makes no senses! Thank you for letting me curl up on the sofa with my book.

9pm – Bath time with the little bear!

9.30pm – Teehee! We have not been in bed all together like this in ages, well not this early! Can we play please! Bagels and cream cheese for bed time snack

11pm – 69’s, dildo’s and fucking from behind! What an end to a fabulous day, thank you x x x

12pm – So why does little bear always want to ‘chat’ before sleeping?! Oh, and remind me to get you to have a word about her wanting to wear a onesie to dinner next Friday!

Thursday 1st june 2107: 6am – Well that was a good nights sleep! Hustling me out of bed this early is not a pleasant way to be woken up, but yeah we got shit to get done.

6.20am – Well what do you expect if you’re going to make me shower with you! I will not let part of you go to work not clean 😉 Green shift dress with a white cardia and brown salt water sandals. Love my gravy bra and panties with daisy on them. Light makeup and hair pinned up at the front.

7am – So getting up too Little bears breakfast is always interesting! Ok she did good. Fruit salad with yoghurt, bran flakes and toast and jam. BS lee 7.4

7.45 – So babe packed my bag and snacks. I have veggies, oatcakes, and dip for this morning. I half a peanut butter and banana muffin and half a white chocolate muffin for this afternoon! I have Everything I could possibly need and yes, I have my water bottle!

8.15 – Ok so I am pregnant and a girl but why can’t I carry my laptop bag?! Oh, I forgot you’re in charge and it’s a man thing right! Love you and yes that was me sassing you!

9am – Yay! Office and studio time! I really could be your PA you know, I’d be a good girl and everything……

10.30am- When to get you coffee, found the breakrooms secret freezer, it has frozen yoghurt lollies, having on top of my snack!

11.30am- I’m off to get lunch. I have google maps on my phone, I have the instructions in my head and for safety I have yours and sir beasty’s number just in case!

12pm – this deli is amaze-balls! First place ever to not looking at me like I’m bonkers for wanting a cream cheese, beetroot and coleslaw sandwich on rye and they sell 7 different type of pickles!

12.20pm – Aww we are having a picnic on your studio floor!

1pm – Well now I know that the door locks and you get extra horny after a big New York sandwich. Also, I have a feeling that’s why I’m wearing a dress. Can I blow you under a sound desk later if I behave!?!?

3pm – I have 6 more slides to do and I’ve finished these bloody presentations. But for now, snack, milk, and nap time!

4.45pm – I was a tired little mouse again! Thank you for the wake up of a kiss and a cup of hot chocolate, the babies thank you! x

6pm – have I started wudderling?! Thank you for carrying my laptop bag and holding my hand J

6.45pm- Why do men keep giving up their seat for me? they don’t in the UK! But sitting down and having you lean down kissing me and rubbing my tummy is nice. Oh, and fyfi I think that people get said bump is your handy work, but if you need to make sure know then, ok! More than happy for you to push my dress up, my panties down and for you to fuck me on the bus if you need ;). pizza for tea, again. Salad and fruit and yoghurt as well!

7.30pm- Bath time with babe! She shaved my pussy for me, see that is why  I love living with women!

8pm – Jammies on and family game of monopoly, we are so rock and roll!

10pm – I swear little one cheats, or tries  to! Good plan in making Aunty May banker. Babe offering sexual favours for Mayfair be the way is not fair!

11pm – apple and cheese before bed time story is delicious! Can we do pen of the damned catch up over the weekend?! Tuck in and sleep! Bus level 6.4

2.35am – Bad dream about the twat! Thank you for letting me have cuddles and sleeping on your chest is going to help! X

Friday 2nd June 2017: 5.45am – Waking me up for breakfast now yes, I will sound grumpy but it’s nothing personal. Getting down stairs to find you made me breakfast and even used my special cup, melts me in to a puddle oh warm goo! Sitting and going through the times online and explaining things to me J

6.20am – Today I will be wearing batman panties, blue t-shirt bra, care bear t-shirt and a denim pinafore dress. With daisy converse pumps. Hair in a messy bun and light make up, but full on red lipstick. (are you going for the Lolita look babe?!) Bus level 4.1

7am – Ok so I am sat writing reports for clients and vets, before 9 am. I’m sorry but I was SOOOO board!

9am – total mood crash! Can I just stay home today, cuddle on the sofa and watch DVDs please L

10am – I can’t make the skype thing work on my laptop and I want to talk to sir beasty! L

10.30 – want to make buggers for lunch and use the grill, but its big and bloody scary! Babe is reading the instructions. I had 2 apples with maple syrup as my snack today!

11.15am – well that’s not fair! What do we eat for lunch now!?!?! Oh, and what do you mean only men touch the BBQ or Grill food on it?!?! Can Aunty may use it, she’s a grown up!

12.30pm – So I’m eating bread, cheese, apples, and ready salted crisps for lunch! Can we have buggers tomorrow? Please!!!!

1.45pm- We are off to Jersey City, Baby shopping!

2.30pm- dear god! Why , oh why did we go in the first store we found! Bloody woman was like oh your big for 15 weeks, are you sure! no, I’m just saying it and really, I just ate all the pies! then she stared tiring to sell me a $550 breast pump, I’m mean WTAF!

3pm – Ok gender-neutral baby gap shopping has made me simmer down!

3’30pm – So not home for nap. (asked babe if she will drive home and I’ll sleep in the car) hot milk and donut for afternoon snack!

5pm – home, dinner prepped and ready to go! Bus level 5.6

6pm – Veggie tagin, cuscus and green beans and tomatoes. Thank you for bringing apple straddle home for pudding!

7pm – We must go out more! Oh, fuck it I am loving family board games and DVDs, even if it means I’m old! And thank you for Indiana jones!

11pm- I did not fall asleep on little bears lap, I was merely checking for light leaks! Bagles, cream cheese and cucumber for bed time snacks are my fav! Story and tuck in time. X x x x x

Saturday 3rd June 2017: 6.45am – Wow I slept late! Feel little today, can we stay home and do stuff?!? Oh yeah got to go in to the city L

7.15am – ok I love these cut offs, thank you! Mini mouse panties, black push up bra (my boobies look obscene!) Green camisole and blue cardie. Light make up and hair in a ponytail. Bus level 3.6

8am- breakfast at the diner! Hash browns (3) grilled tomatoes and mushrooms, 3 eggs scrambled and whole grain toast and strawberry jam. glass of milk and 2 glasses of water! I’m going to go pop!

9am – thank you for letting use go by bus and not driving! I like to get the bus here!

10.30 am Yay! I love looking at art with little bear, she asks questions and I can answer them! Hot milk and donuts are a huge bonus!

12.30pm-  Bs level 7.4 . Salad and bread, with French dressing. Banana for afters! Going for a walk by the river after lunch will be nice.

2.30pm – Bs level 6.2. See that walk got my blood levels down! Now dress shopping for Friday! Yay, thank you for saying no to onesies and lb for Friday! Can I kiss kitten and touch her boobs in the changing room?

3.30 pm – bus home! Aunty May is a legend for getting 4 men to get up for her and the girls. But getting to cuddle on your lap is more fun! Sleepy though.

5pm – How am I asleep on the sofa? We were on a bus!

6pm – ekk! Take out and horror DVDs!

7pm – Ok how much food can I eat in one day! 3 slices of pizza and a massive blow of salad! Oh, chocolate cake and ice cream, go on then!

10.30am – so I feel asleep again! What is wrong with me! Ok jammies on and bed, yes boss man!

11pm – Ok horny now, need sex please! Yes, I am going to be bendy, yes, I’m flashing my butt at you and yes, I’m teasing Babe! What you going to do about it big man;)

1am – holy mother of fuck! I am so going to tease like that again. All 4 of you holding down and doing all that, oh dear god! All I’m saying is I’m not going to be able to walk the morning!

Sunday 4th June 2017: 7.30 am – blimey, not slept that soundly in ages! Housekeeping shower and yes, your cheeky sod I am clean Everywhere now! Change of clit and nipple bars to rings. Blue bra and panties. Red floral tea dress, brown sandals with a blue cardie. light makeup and hair in a bun. Bs level 3.2.

8.15am – Breakfast: two raisen and cinnamon bagels with butter and honey. Banana with yoghurt and glass of OJ. I swear I’m eating for the whole of the family, not just me and 2 growing babies!

9am – Ok we are going to Mass, you promised and we are going. So, stop telling me what you’re going to do to me, comb your hair and put a bloody tie on! *pouts and stamps foot*

9.45ama – will you please behave! We’re moving here and I would like to be able to go to mass without the priest thinking I’m some sex starved maniac!

10.30m – Well thanks for that! You nearly made me squeaky in front of a group of very posh housewives! Knob! Yes I called a knob, what you going to do about big man??? Oh, and I had cake as my snack!

11.30 am – oh dear lord! so I have now defiled 3 churches in 3 countries!

12.30 – blimey I am so hunger, again! Soup, bread, and massive salad! Bs level 6.7

1.30 – Walking Bella here is so much nicer than the UK. Thanks for coming with me. your right an hour is the most I can walk without getting puffed out, we may need to look at getting a walker nearer D-day!

3pm – Dinner is in and cooking, smoothy made for snack and I have changed out of my dress and put my t-shirt on (well yours!) can little bear have a nap with me?! Promise to sleep!

5pm – See told you I need sleep and that we would be good! Time to make pasta!

6pm – ok so duck rage works so well and it is so easy to make! Pasta with tomatoes, mushrooms, and feta for me!

6.45pm – bath time with kitten and we can have a soak!

7.30 – I do not get this Xbox obsession and I can’t play it either, so thank t you for letting me do colouring with little bear! Oh, and please stop topping aunty may’s sherry up! Knob!

9pm – Bed time snack of cheese and crackers, veggie sticks and dip and a yoghurt!

11pm – Bed time story, cuddle and then lights out! Night handsome x x x x x x

Love and hugs,

Pixie x x x x

What we have learnt from loving Bdsm’s 30 days of D/s?

So Today , well Tuesday was the last day of Loving BDSM’s  30 days of D/s. So it means no more daily emails , No more breakfast debuts and no more think about the D/s side of things, oh wait yes the will be, cos that is one of the things I will take away from the whole 30 days. The talking and think about stuff that is.  so I’m going to list what I / we have learnt from this.

  • what we all feel about are D/s relationship
  • What all of are kinks are and why we like them.
  • What we all want to try out, in and out of the bedroom.
  • That we all have hard limits that are off-limits.
  • That we as a family are really lucky and have a very strong bond.
  • That we are all very open to bring more people in to are family , wether as play partners or as a protectors.
  • That us girls are very open about are life style , but that we chose to keep it in the shadows.
  • That we are really good at supporting each other and communication is something we are really good at .
  • That us girls can’t be serious for more than 20 mins before one of us starts giggling.

On a really personal note , its been pretty epic for me. I did not sign myself up for this and truth be known I was not really that happy when I was told by the boss. I was trying to blog or write when I got a spare half hour here and there. but this has made me sit down and write every day, by just taking an hour. I have or had a really heavy work load, but by sitting down every day to write I have found something that I like doing and that I think (omfg I can not belive I’m saying this) I am quit good at. I have also loved the fact are little family sits and talks about stuff that means stuff to us. In a world full of war, famine, disease and politics, I sometimes start to feel overwhelmed by life. But having something that is deep and meaningful to talk about at dinner or breakfast other than Donald Trump or The general election , well its been kind of fun. It has made me talk about my ex as well and yeah, the were tears when I did , but I feel like it has put a lid on him and that I really can start to enjoy being happy. It has made relies , just how much I love the boss man and my girls. That what I have with them is what I need to have to be happy and strong. But more important than that it has started to help me be comfy in my own skin, and that is something that means so bloody much! it has also shown me that, yup we don’t really do sensible , we love talking and that we are a family of silly head!

So I want to say a huge thank you to Kayla Lords and John Brownstone , for coming up with 30 days of D/s , its been epic, fun , thought-provoking and just what I needed!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

PS – Aunt May asks ‘Did one of you write school text books or the such?’ lol She always has to have the last word.

Exploring Your kinks together….

fSo today topic is about exploring you kinks together. Well this was super fun to sit down and chat about. Lol we decided that Starbucks was the best place to discusses it and discusses it we did. Some how we manged to get 3 members of staff involved to, not quite sure how or why. I have a feeling that might have been are little bear! (she seems to be able to get anyone to talk about anything)

So I have my kinks (Me and my kinks) , the girls have their kinks , and Good Lord does the frog have his! Were not all the same though and don’t all have the same kinks. I mean yeah we have loads in common and we play off each others kinks, but we also have kinks of are own. Are Little bear is a Baby girl, but then are Babe is a switch who Loves to Dom. What we do seem to do a lot of is talking about sex and have a love of trying new things .

I think I’m really lucky to have the Frenchman in my life , he and I seem to have kinks that go really well together. He is a saddest and I have a huge masochistic streak. He likes watching his girls and telling them what to do to each other and I love putting on a show for him. He likes female Doms using his girls , while he watches and I love being watch with female Doms. But the are still things that we are exploring, like my Little side. we have decided I’m not a Baby girl, cos I can’t do bratty, sulky or pout. But I do like being looked after and doing little things. Not really from a sexual sort of way. They seem to be a really great way to deal with my anxiety levels and for helping me focus . the Frenchman likes it cos he gets to be more in control and he likes taking care of me. We also playing with PDA as I enjoy this , but find them very hard to deal with. Also we are doing a lot of stuff with sense deprivation , as it is something that the frog likes doing , that I struggle with, but wanted to work on and well its a great way to build trust.

But the main thing that seems to be happening and I’m not sure why, is that I am freely giving up more and more control over myself. I guess you would say I’m becoming more submissive. I mean I still bite and scratch at times, but I just really like having someone who will take care of me and take charge of things. I think its cos over the last 2 years I have been left feeling so safe, loved and happy. Still ask questions all the bloody time though!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

All ‘Good things’ come to an end.

So the topic up for debate today Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s is when a D/s realstionship ends and how would deal with it. Now I have been with maîtriser for 2 1/2 years, but before that I was with a guy from the age of 17 till just before maîtriser. That was a D/s relationship , but it was not a good or healthy one , for either of us.  I don’t talk openly about it , as it was such a painful things to talk about and in the end it was pretty horrific. But with maîtriser sat with me , holding my hand, I’m going kind of break my silence on it, in the hope that if even one person takes something away from it and it helps them then it will have been worth a few tears and the time it takes to write it down.

I really don’t know where the flip to start . I met my ex when he was 24 and I was 17. He was a in a passion of power (well sort of , I was a 17-year-old college student , so pretty much everyone was), and due to this we had to kind of keep quiet about dating for a couple of years. I guess I should have seen that as a warning light, but hell I was 17 and thought I was in love. We spent the first few years of being together , breaking up and making up, only to break up again. Now I am and always have been very open about the fact I’m bi and when we broke I dated women (love you Kitten!) but when we were back together, the was always the pressure to bring one of my Gf in to the bedroom as well. Which I will openly admit I liked , but he got jealous and shitty if the attention was not on him. Any how when I was about 19 we started to add in the D/s side to things. I had been hang out on the fetish scene and he would come along when home on leave. I think adding the D/s side to us was I n retrospect a really stupid thing for me to allow. It opened up a side of him that was frightening and very dark. But I wa in love and young , and me being me I was to shy and insecure to stand up and say I was unhappy.

Moving forward 6 years or so and things started to go wrong for me on a personal and for us as a couple. I had a sort of break down from working in a job that I worked 7 days a week 13 hours a day. I had stress in my family , my health was suffering and I was homesick. (I was working in paris.). He had become a bully, aggressive and verbally. but I stuck with him , cos I loved him and anyway who would want me any way. Now he was serving in the mideast , and I am pretty sure most people would not of handled seeing what he did and he may very well of had PTSD, but that does not excuse his behaviour, it only serves to explain it. I was bitterly unhappy, I was frightened of him , and with the constant verbal abuse , I felt like I deserved to be treated that way. The D/s side of things had become intense and demanding , but the was never any ‘Aftercare ‘ .  We went on to get married in 2011 and he left the forces in the may of the next year.

But not having the discipline or focuses of a fast-moving job, he started drinking and taking drugs. things at home were awful . he had started to become violent and was using aggression and verbal abuse to get what he wanted in the bedroom. I had been made to feel so vile about myself and hate myself so badly that I just stayed, cos I loved him and cos no one would ever want me, right?

The beatings got worse, the bullying got worse and I hit rock bottom. Then the biggest blow ever came, he had been cheating on me and had got some woman pregnant. He actually had the nerve to step to me and say ‘ I need money to make this go away’. Well something inside me snapped and I lost the plot, hit him and demanded he got out of my house. Well I’m not a little thing, I’m ft 9 and I can handle myself (I used to do door work and I spare and do kick boxing) , but at ft 4 and weigh a lot more than me , he fought back , beat he crap out of me , dragged me to the bed room , raped me and choked me to the point of blacking out. I’m not 100% sure what happened after that , things are hazy . what I do know is that I felt so dirty , used and guilty for letting this happen. the shame I had brought on my family and the fact that I had let them down , again was just too much to deal with, so I took 3 weeks of all my meds, some sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka, downed them all and lay down and waited for it to all end!

Well I fucked that right up, forgetting I had friends who are awesome (love you kitten, babe and Sir Beasty) . Yup I spent a couple of months in hospital getting better and I’m still In therapy . But my friends hugged me so tight that I manged to put myself back together. It has taken everything I have in me to get through all of this, I still have problems and I am very much a work in progress, but I got through it , and have found something so much better and worthwhile.

So what I guess I’m trying to say is , that love should not hurt , unless you ask for that pain. love is not bullying , or black mail or threats. love is respect, trust and care. Even if you are a 24/7 tpe , you have the right to feel safe and loved , and to live without fear. If you  ever find yourself in this portion, leave , talk to someone or scream for help. but above all else it is not your fault,  you have nothing to be ashamed of and no matter what you life is worth so much than you know, so don’t give up! If  can get through this , so can you!

Love, light and hugs,

Pixie x x x x