From the Heart….

So this afternoon I woke up from my nap to a new Dm in my inbox on twitter, which is really quite exciting in my little world! But on opening and reading it my little world turned dark and grey. Someone had decided my use of the English langue , its quirky grammer and frankly bonkers way of spelling things, had offended them so much that they felt the overwhelming need to tell me and point out my failings. Which is super helpful of them , but in my eyes not very kind or thoughtful.

Now don’t get me wrong , I now I suck at spelling and grammar, I really do. But I do have reasons that I suck at it. I grew up in a house hold that spoke a mix of Irish Gaelic and Russian. I started to learn English when I was about 3 or 4 , but it took ages for me to pick it up. I was also a really shy little girl and had two wonderful big sisters that did most of my talking for me. That is one of the reasons the boss man calls me mouse, cos at times I’m so quiet , you would not know I’m there!

I am also dyslexic, which made reading and writing tougher than hell. it does not affect my number skills or my ability to understand things like science, history or geography. it does mean that I found it hard learning at school hard and that I get confused with big words and complex instructions. But I found ways to adapt and learn. I found that if I record what people are saying and play it back , I sticks in my brain. I can watch someone doing something and pick it up pretty quickly. I also pushed myself in the things I was good at, like art , design and science . I passed my gcses , alevels and went to uni getting a degree and masters in textiles and custom design. I

A few years ago I decided to retrain as a dog trainer and along side this I did some English and Itc courses. As I was dyslexic they offered testing to see if the was any extra help they could offer. it turned out that I also have a form of ADD . That means when I get anxious , which is most of the time , my brain sort of seizes up and I can’t do anything. it means I can be rude , distracted and if really bad aggressive . Finding out this explained a lot of things, such as not being able to judge people tones, some of the trouble I have with social interactions and shyness. i have learned tons of ways to deal with life. Like if I am really organised and sit down and plan things out , I can pretty much do anything. With help I got I went on to gain a second degree and masters , this time in canine psychologic, training and welfare.

So you see I’m not stupid, I just have a hell of a lot of stuff going against me when it comes to the English langue! I just want to say and ask people, please , please think before you Comment on other people’s post, tweets or updates. You never know what is hiding behind it. your ‘Kind words’ might not be met with a smile and a thank you. Luckey I vented on twitter and got support (go twitter pervs!). In days gone past I would have turn it on myself, beat myself up and more than likely ended up cutting myself. So again I say please think before you say things, you may curse more harm than good!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Blog challenge – Day 2 ‘how have you changed in the past 2 years?’

well it’s day 2 of my blog challenge, and today’s question is how have you changed in the past 2 years? Good question, I really have changed a lot in the last 2 years, on a lot of different levels

To understand how and why I have changed I should properly explain a little about what was going on in my life 2 years ago. It was a year and 3 months post split from my ex and he was waiting trial for assault and rape. I was in the proses of getting a divorce and struggling to cope with day-to-day life, on my own. I had , had my collar for a year , the boss man and the girls had all moved in with me and the boss man was selling his house in Cornwall and france. i was still doing 3 different types of therapy a week and also under a CPA with my local cmht. I was shy , frightened and lacked any conference what so ever. it was at this time that maîtriser started to come to my therapy sessions with me. He started to ask me to try some changes , to see if it would help me get my happy back!

I started to keep my diary everyday and I started to have a daily chore list. I started back at the gym, started to learn yoga and started attending barre classes. I enrolled in some classes at the local college and the open university . I stopped working as a ‘dog walker’ and started my own training business . I started to write a little, as a way to vent what I had going on in my head.

I also made a  lot of changes to my family life, which although were really hard for me to do , helped massively . Firstly I asked for my mum , dad and sisters to give their keys to my house back, So they would no longer just turn up uninvited. I also stopped spending time with either of my parents , without the boss man or the girls being with me. This had the knock on effect of both my sisters doing more for my parents , something they had not really done in the past.

over the next 2 years the boss man helped push myself outside of my comfort zone every signal day. I learnt a lot about who I really was and what I really wanted out of life. I also started to explore how I felt about different kinks and different poly set ups. We settled on an open , poly relationship. We decided that we wanted to all live, sleep and love as one big family group.

So 2 years on I find myself blissfully happy , loved , respected , cared for and getting my conference . I will now stand for myself , speak up and don’t let people put me down. I am never going to be the most confident of people, but I now teach people and dogs. I feel settled and safe for the first time ever. I married the Boss man last December, we have babies on the way. I run my own business and I’m quite in demand as a speaker with in my field. But more than anything , I have stopped hiding , I deal with any problems that come up in my life head on and I am proving people wrong everyday!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Dah da dah!

Good evening kinksters and nilias of the world!

So I have been a little bit on the poorly side again and had a blip on the depression front, but it is getting better! I was a really good girl and asked for help. the Boss Man and girls have been ace. i got give loads of help and the Boss Man has added in loads of stuff to support me! one of the things is a Blog challenge , as I did the 30 days of D/s and that helped massively with mood and structure in my everyday life! So he found 20 challenges, and ask Kitten to pick 5 and then asked girls to pick 1. Well then I ended up in hospital and Kitten and the girls had no idea which one to choose, so they asked Sir beasty to pick one. He was super cool and picked one for me! (fluffy breadie one is good!) So I will be staring that tomorrow! The boss man has also set me the task of writing a 2000 word story with in a month and I am starting that tomorrow as well!

This is my 30 day challenge …..

blog challenge!

I’m also going to make a super big effort to upload my Diary every Monday . I will also be finding a willing victims to do question times with the girls, cos we love doing it and also love asking questions and getting to know people! We are also thinking of doing a Sub problem page / agony aunt thing! So if you have a question , problem or want to be a victim hit us at pixieheartblog@hotmail.com .

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

The diary of Pixie Heart – 29/5/17 to 4/6/17

So here is my diary from last week! it seems to mainly be about babies, food and fucking , but that seems to be what my life is full of at the moment! Hope you enjoy and have a giggle at my what I call ‘life’. lol

Mouse’s Diary:

Monday 29th May 2017: 5.30am – I have woken up feeling very needy and horny. But after last night’s telling off I don’t know if it’s ok to wake you up or not L Going with it being ok or a least that telling you is ok?!?!

6.30am – Right choice mouse! Got a shag and cuddles! Hustled straight in the shower with little bear and told no touching!

6.45 am – out shower to find my green fern print playsuit, matching pink bra and panties, and pink cardia laid  out waiting. Babe is on the case of trying to get my hair to coaptate and doing makeup!

7am – Pills taken, neb done, bs level 4.1. Breakfast made for me, by you. I had fruit and yoghurt, two slices of whole grain toast and a boiled egg. Reading to Aunty May.

7.30am – Walked belle, on lead for 45 mins. Puffed out when I got home. Cuddled on the sofa with kitten and watched the news. I still feel daft that I don’t understand it allL

8.45am – Home work time! Thank you for sitting with me and helping me with it. I get lost with it sometimes, but I don’t feel silly when you help me!

10.45am – Snack time – glass of milk, two breadsticks, a carrot, stick of celery, 5 radishes and 3 tbsp. of hummus. Back to writing a blog post.

11.55am – Thank you for letting me do the laundry. I know I must take it easy and rest up, but I also love doing the cloths washing, I find it calming!

1pm – BS level 5.2. Lunchtime. Grilled cheese sandwich, tomatoes, and spinach salad, with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Bananas and custard!

1.45pm – Walking at the park. Aunty May stayed home with Little bear as her tummy is still poorly. Its’s so lovely  here. I wish we could stay. I really don’t want to go home and face my family in a few weeks!

3pm – Ok afternoon snack of an ice cream and strawberry sundae rocks!

3.30pm – Nap times with Kitten and little bear! All tucked up and I was out like a light in under 5 mins, tied little mouse! Proof you really do know what’s best! Love you x x x x

4.45pm – Yay I get to cook with my little bear! Thank you, I do love cooking for the family and if the bear helps I feel like im teaching her something that is useful and worth while!

6pm – Veggies lasagne, salad, garlic bread for dinner and apple pie and ice-cream for pudding!

7pm – Bath time with Kitten! Clean jammies, slippers on and munch made! Time for DVDs in the family room (We need one of these when we move!)

9pm – Why has Aunty May gone to bed at 9 in the evening? Why are you looking so smug?

10.30pm – Ash so it was Subby practice in the living room you had planned, was it?! Ok So super fun, I was brave and a good girl! Cuddles with Kitten are the best and Babe and Little Bear got some serious freak on!!!! So, I’ve got my neb to do, meds to take and then bed time!

11pm – Bed time and story time. Bagle and hot milk for this mouse and sleep!

Tuesday 29th May 2017: 5.45am – Ok so Fitbit said I slept right through the night! So, I woke you up for a cuddle, cos well I need one! BS 4.3

6.15am – Up meds taken, neb done and shower time with babe. Come out to find my new black satin boy shorts and bra layer out. As well as my blue jersey knee length dresss and my red converses. Babe gave me boxer braids! Wearing a little bit of makeup and my contact as requested!

7am – breakfast time. Scrambled eggs, flat bread, tomatoes, spinach cheese and chillies. With a glass of OJ on the side. Blimey Babe can cook breakfast!

7.30am – Oh bum in a jock strap, English with Bob, really!

9am – Great doctors, again! I know I need to and I must but, I bloody hate it. But then I get to go to work with you J

11am – You told sir beasty on me L oh well working in your office and the view is great. I had a chocalet and banana  protein shake for my snack is that ok?! I also had some almonds! BS 7.4

1pm – Lunch time. Grilled cheese sandwiches, soup, salad and fruit and yoghurt. I’m eating like a baby dinosaur!

1.30pm – I have just noticed the is a lock on your office door!!! Can we, please……

2.30 pm – Ok so really can we please do something?!?! PLEASE!!!! BS 8.2

3.30 pm – See I told you no one would notice and that it would make you smile! But thank you for putting me on your desk and making it all about me, I cannot tell you how much I really needed that! It’s like I feel like I’m going to exploded! Ok so I will be a good girl and curl up on the sofa and nap like a good girl!

5pm – Blimey big man! I was tired! Home time! Can we do the bus?!?!

6pm – home. Aunty May mad veggie stew and dumplings. Delicious!

6.45pm – quick tidy up and freshen up, in to my new red tea dress and off to, where are we going???

7.30pm – Open mick!!! YAY! No singing of JB though, please!!!

9pm – ok you do know I’m getting funny looks being sat on your lap, right?!?

10.30 – Pizza on the way home, Yay!

11pm- Bedtime stories when you tipsy are fun! Thank you for everything about today!

 

Wednesday 31st May 2017: 6.20am – Woke up full of beans! So, can I go take Bella for a walk now?! BS level 5.2.

6.35am – well that was nice! Thank you for having a shower with me! Also, awesome outfit. Batman panties, Red maxi sundress and sandals. No bra. 😉 Hair in a messy bun and make up. Oh, and thank you for letting take the hound out on my own!

7.20am – Lovely walk with Bella and I did not even stop for bagles!

7.30am – Yay! Aunty May made soda falls for bredie!

8am – OMG! Your letting us go to the zoo, all the little off shoots of the big zoo!!!

9am – Ok I hate having to get buses in the UK, but I can do them here, why is that? I also love the fact that men get up and offer me or aunty may a seat!

10am – ZOO!!!

11.15am – Ok had 2 scoops of ice-cream and a banana as snack! Baba said it was ok!

1pm – Lunch time – Cheese salad sandwich, soup (leek and potato), apple and banana. Little bear got told about meeting people next Friday and pipped up in the lunch cue ‘Do I need to take condoms to meet them’ What the flip does she think we going to be doing?!?!?

3pm – So sorry I made Babe ring you. I just worried about missing my afternoon nap. So, I have decided at of the 3 options given, that I will go to bed and hour early. Little bear said she will come with me so I don’t have to go on my own! I had a 2 apples, cheese, and oat cakes for my snack!

5.30pm – Yay! Getting to meet you from work is ace and with all of us is epically ace! Bus home is quite fun and you smooth for caring Aunties May’s bag!

6.30pm – Mexican food and ice-cream for dinner! Bus level 8.5

7pm – I can’t do the Xbox, it makes no senses! Thank you for letting me curl up on the sofa with my book.

9pm – Bath time with the little bear!

9.30pm – Teehee! We have not been in bed all together like this in ages, well not this early! Can we play please! Bagels and cream cheese for bed time snack

11pm – 69’s, dildo’s and fucking from behind! What an end to a fabulous day, thank you x x x

12pm – So why does little bear always want to ‘chat’ before sleeping?! Oh, and remind me to get you to have a word about her wanting to wear a onesie to dinner next Friday!

Thursday 1st june 2107: 6am – Well that was a good nights sleep! Hustling me out of bed this early is not a pleasant way to be woken up, but yeah we got shit to get done.

6.20am – Well what do you expect if you’re going to make me shower with you! I will not let part of you go to work not clean 😉 Green shift dress with a white cardia and brown salt water sandals. Love my gravy bra and panties with daisy on them. Light makeup and hair pinned up at the front.

7am – So getting up too Little bears breakfast is always interesting! Ok she did good. Fruit salad with yoghurt, bran flakes and toast and jam. BS lee 7.4

7.45 – So babe packed my bag and snacks. I have veggies, oatcakes, and dip for this morning. I half a peanut butter and banana muffin and half a white chocolate muffin for this afternoon! I have Everything I could possibly need and yes, I have my water bottle!

8.15 – Ok so I am pregnant and a girl but why can’t I carry my laptop bag?! Oh, I forgot you’re in charge and it’s a man thing right! Love you and yes that was me sassing you!

9am – Yay! Office and studio time! I really could be your PA you know, I’d be a good girl and everything……

10.30am- When to get you coffee, found the breakrooms secret freezer, it has frozen yoghurt lollies, having on top of my snack!

11.30am- I’m off to get lunch. I have google maps on my phone, I have the instructions in my head and for safety I have yours and sir beasty’s number just in case!

12pm – this deli is amaze-balls! First place ever to not looking at me like I’m bonkers for wanting a cream cheese, beetroot and coleslaw sandwich on rye and they sell 7 different type of pickles!

12.20pm – Aww we are having a picnic on your studio floor!

1pm – Well now I know that the door locks and you get extra horny after a big New York sandwich. Also, I have a feeling that’s why I’m wearing a dress. Can I blow you under a sound desk later if I behave!?!?

3pm – I have 6 more slides to do and I’ve finished these bloody presentations. But for now, snack, milk, and nap time!

4.45pm – I was a tired little mouse again! Thank you for the wake up of a kiss and a cup of hot chocolate, the babies thank you! x

6pm – have I started wudderling?! Thank you for carrying my laptop bag and holding my hand J

6.45pm- Why do men keep giving up their seat for me? they don’t in the UK! But sitting down and having you lean down kissing me and rubbing my tummy is nice. Oh, and fyfi I think that people get said bump is your handy work, but if you need to make sure know then, ok! More than happy for you to push my dress up, my panties down and for you to fuck me on the bus if you need ;). pizza for tea, again. Salad and fruit and yoghurt as well!

7.30pm- Bath time with babe! She shaved my pussy for me, see that is why  I love living with women!

8pm – Jammies on and family game of monopoly, we are so rock and roll!

10pm – I swear little one cheats, or tries  to! Good plan in making Aunty May banker. Babe offering sexual favours for Mayfair be the way is not fair!

11pm – apple and cheese before bed time story is delicious! Can we do pen of the damned catch up over the weekend?! Tuck in and sleep! Bus level 6.4

2.35am – Bad dream about the twat! Thank you for letting me have cuddles and sleeping on your chest is going to help! X

Friday 2nd June 2017: 5.45am – Waking me up for breakfast now yes, I will sound grumpy but it’s nothing personal. Getting down stairs to find you made me breakfast and even used my special cup, melts me in to a puddle oh warm goo! Sitting and going through the times online and explaining things to me J

6.20am – Today I will be wearing batman panties, blue t-shirt bra, care bear t-shirt and a denim pinafore dress. With daisy converse pumps. Hair in a messy bun and light make up, but full on red lipstick. (are you going for the Lolita look babe?!) Bus level 4.1

7am – Ok so I am sat writing reports for clients and vets, before 9 am. I’m sorry but I was SOOOO board!

9am – total mood crash! Can I just stay home today, cuddle on the sofa and watch DVDs please L

10am – I can’t make the skype thing work on my laptop and I want to talk to sir beasty! L

10.30 – want to make buggers for lunch and use the grill, but its big and bloody scary! Babe is reading the instructions. I had 2 apples with maple syrup as my snack today!

11.15am – well that’s not fair! What do we eat for lunch now!?!?! Oh, and what do you mean only men touch the BBQ or Grill food on it?!?! Can Aunty may use it, she’s a grown up!

12.30pm – So I’m eating bread, cheese, apples, and ready salted crisps for lunch! Can we have buggers tomorrow? Please!!!!

1.45pm- We are off to Jersey City, Baby shopping!

2.30pm- dear god! Why , oh why did we go in the first store we found! Bloody woman was like oh your big for 15 weeks, are you sure! no, I’m just saying it and really, I just ate all the pies! then she stared tiring to sell me a $550 breast pump, I’m mean WTAF!

3pm – Ok gender-neutral baby gap shopping has made me simmer down!

3’30pm – So not home for nap. (asked babe if she will drive home and I’ll sleep in the car) hot milk and donut for afternoon snack!

5pm – home, dinner prepped and ready to go! Bus level 5.6

6pm – Veggie tagin, cuscus and green beans and tomatoes. Thank you for bringing apple straddle home for pudding!

7pm – We must go out more! Oh, fuck it I am loving family board games and DVDs, even if it means I’m old! And thank you for Indiana jones!

11pm- I did not fall asleep on little bears lap, I was merely checking for light leaks! Bagles, cream cheese and cucumber for bed time snacks are my fav! Story and tuck in time. X x x x x

Saturday 3rd June 2017: 6.45am – Wow I slept late! Feel little today, can we stay home and do stuff?!? Oh yeah got to go in to the city L

7.15am – ok I love these cut offs, thank you! Mini mouse panties, black push up bra (my boobies look obscene!) Green camisole and blue cardie. Light make up and hair in a ponytail. Bus level 3.6

8am- breakfast at the diner! Hash browns (3) grilled tomatoes and mushrooms, 3 eggs scrambled and whole grain toast and strawberry jam. glass of milk and 2 glasses of water! I’m going to go pop!

9am – thank you for letting use go by bus and not driving! I like to get the bus here!

10.30 am Yay! I love looking at art with little bear, she asks questions and I can answer them! Hot milk and donuts are a huge bonus!

12.30pm-  Bs level 7.4 . Salad and bread, with French dressing. Banana for afters! Going for a walk by the river after lunch will be nice.

2.30pm – Bs level 6.2. See that walk got my blood levels down! Now dress shopping for Friday! Yay, thank you for saying no to onesies and lb for Friday! Can I kiss kitten and touch her boobs in the changing room?

3.30 pm – bus home! Aunty May is a legend for getting 4 men to get up for her and the girls. But getting to cuddle on your lap is more fun! Sleepy though.

5pm – How am I asleep on the sofa? We were on a bus!

6pm – ekk! Take out and horror DVDs!

7pm – Ok how much food can I eat in one day! 3 slices of pizza and a massive blow of salad! Oh, chocolate cake and ice cream, go on then!

10.30am – so I feel asleep again! What is wrong with me! Ok jammies on and bed, yes boss man!

11pm – Ok horny now, need sex please! Yes, I am going to be bendy, yes, I’m flashing my butt at you and yes, I’m teasing Babe! What you going to do about it big man;)

1am – holy mother of fuck! I am so going to tease like that again. All 4 of you holding down and doing all that, oh dear god! All I’m saying is I’m not going to be able to walk the morning!

Sunday 4th June 2017: 7.30 am – blimey, not slept that soundly in ages! Housekeeping shower and yes, your cheeky sod I am clean Everywhere now! Change of clit and nipple bars to rings. Blue bra and panties. Red floral tea dress, brown sandals with a blue cardie. light makeup and hair in a bun. Bs level 3.2.

8.15am – Breakfast: two raisen and cinnamon bagels with butter and honey. Banana with yoghurt and glass of OJ. I swear I’m eating for the whole of the family, not just me and 2 growing babies!

9am – Ok we are going to Mass, you promised and we are going. So, stop telling me what you’re going to do to me, comb your hair and put a bloody tie on! *pouts and stamps foot*

9.45ama – will you please behave! We’re moving here and I would like to be able to go to mass without the priest thinking I’m some sex starved maniac!

10.30m – Well thanks for that! You nearly made me squeaky in front of a group of very posh housewives! Knob! Yes I called a knob, what you going to do about big man??? Oh, and I had cake as my snack!

11.30 am – oh dear lord! so I have now defiled 3 churches in 3 countries!

12.30 – blimey I am so hunger, again! Soup, bread, and massive salad! Bs level 6.7

1.30 – Walking Bella here is so much nicer than the UK. Thanks for coming with me. your right an hour is the most I can walk without getting puffed out, we may need to look at getting a walker nearer D-day!

3pm – Dinner is in and cooking, smoothy made for snack and I have changed out of my dress and put my t-shirt on (well yours!) can little bear have a nap with me?! Promise to sleep!

5pm – See told you I need sleep and that we would be good! Time to make pasta!

6pm – ok so duck rage works so well and it is so easy to make! Pasta with tomatoes, mushrooms, and feta for me!

6.45pm – bath time with kitten and we can have a soak!

7.30 – I do not get this Xbox obsession and I can’t play it either, so thank t you for letting me do colouring with little bear! Oh, and please stop topping aunty may’s sherry up! Knob!

9pm – Bed time snack of cheese and crackers, veggie sticks and dip and a yoghurt!

11pm – Bed time story, cuddle and then lights out! Night handsome x x x x x x

Love and hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Oppss I did it again…..

Well world I have gone and landed myself in trouble , again, big trouble this time 😦 See this week has been massively full om for me. I have been writing courses content, presentation for a 3 day conferences and trying to sort classes out in the UK from the USA. I have been running around trying to be everything to everyone. I have been forgetting to eat at times and not taking naps when I need to. I have put myself down, I have allowed myself to be belittled by people and taken to heart some silly comments from unkind people. So Maîtriser has told me I have to list everything I have done and then the punishment for this and then post it on my blog. So here goes….

  1. I have not been eating my 3 meals a day and forgetting to have my 3 snacks a day.
  2. I have put myself down a total of 15 times in a row, even after being given warnings.
  3. I said I looked fat and that maîtriser is crazy for still wanting me when I’m fat and ugly .
  4. I pushed Kitten away when she trying to comfort me.
  5. I forgot to eat before bed on 3 nights, leading to 3 hypo .
  6. I refused to let Babe drive when I was tired and need her help.
  7. I grumped at my great Aunty May .
  8. I forgot to test my blood sugar levels for 3 days.
  9. I took a Skype call  from my Daddy with out someone with me.
  10. I took an email from my sister to heart, when she had no right to say what she did.
  11. I refused to take my afternoon naps.
  12. I took on more work than I could handle and refused help when it was offered.
  13. I refused help with my chores.
  14. I said I was fine when I came over faint in the groceries store.
  15. I went to mass when i was meant to be resting.

My punishment is as fallows. For the next 2 weeks maîtriser we chose what i wear, eat and how i spend all my free time. I am to take an afternoon nap between 3.30 pm and 4.30pm every day. I am to do everything i am told without answering back, if maîtriser is not about to tell me what I should be doing i must ask Babe. i have lost the right to my alone time for the 2 weeks . i am not allowed to speak to my sisters or father without maîtriser for the next 2 weeks. All emails, social media and blog post must be joked by maîtriser, Babe or Sir Beasty. I am to eat 3 times a day, have 3 healthy snacks a day and i must drink 3 litter of fluids a day. I am on a total caffeine ban for the next 2 weeks and i am not to have soda. i must have my phone with me at all times and i must not leave the house without Bella and one of the girls. i am not to go over 100000 steps in one day. i am not allowed to drive for 2 weeks, I must keep my diary and list all sleep, food and bs level in it. all this has been done for my own sake and i must try harder not to break my rules.

Well that’s it! See not all punishments are about spankings and kinky stuff. This for me has really hits me where it hurts , being made to very publicly admit what I have done and how i fucked up is really hard, to have my free time and freedom to answer back is going to be so hard. but i know that it’s done out of love , concern and so i look after myself better.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

It’s not all about sex you know!

So up today on are Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s was the rather mind-blowing concept that D/s does not have to involve sex. Ok so D/s with full on kinky , toe curling , screaming orgasmic sex is Amazballs, but It’s not the be all and end all of things! I mean come on you have to talk, eat and do boring shit like that right?!?! I have to confess something here , cos I love kinky sex, but I have to say some of the best sex I’ve had been on my wedding and also the shagging Kitten on the sofa after a night a pub quiz. So yeah the was the D/s side to my wedding night of me keeping my collar on (I had a special one that had a pearl from my nana’s wedding dress and a sliver chain!) and behaving myself.

I have talked about the rules I have and my contract, I think that is a massive part of what keeps me focused on the D/s front. Maîtriser will be the first one to point out that none of his girls are perfect, but we know how to fallow are rules , to the letter. Yeah we break them and will some times push things, but it does not take him much to get us back in line. He has a way of saying ‘Enough’ or ‘Girl’ or ‘ watch you step missy’, that you just no means stop, right now, i mean it! He is also very creative on the old punishment front. For Babe just the threat of a spanking and she behaves! But for the rest of us, well pain is a friend, its likely to get us misbehaving faster than any thing! lol. No for me he seems to find things that he knows i find hard or make me think about what i did wrong. For getting angst about people coming to diner and saying i would fuck it up , i was made to stay in bed while made breakfast in my spotless kitchen! For putting myself 5 times in a row, i had to write down 20 amazing facts about myself and mail it to 5 people of his choice . One of the biggest for me was when i started leading and then run my own dog training classes, i would cry before going cos i did not think i could do it and i would beg to stay home and well hide. So he came with me, made me tell him what to do and the girls and he sat and watched me teach and helped with the class. It certainly made me stop and think , but also having him there was amazing as he is always so calm and believes in me , when i can’t . by the end of the 3 classes i was teaching , i knew i did well, that he and the girls where proud of me and i was high as a kite , cos i had really got forced out of my comfort zone on so many levels! (aw i had forgotten  that night!)

Service is a big part of the D/s side of things in our little family. With four female subs and one Dom guy , well you would think the boss man never has to lift a finger, right?! Well no , we all have are own very special roles within are family, what makes it so awesome. The boss man really does give us are own little things to do to survive him. Mine is to keep his cloths looking  perfect and to make sure he leaves for work looking smart and tidy. I also have the job of waking him up in the morning and I get to shave him and trim his beard on a sunday morning before going to mass. each of us girls have spacial things that he has set for each of us. We have what we call ‘house keeping showers’ they are the boss mans way of making sure we are shaved , clean and that we are sticking to the rules around the way we keep  are bodies. But again it goes both way the are little things that he likes to do for us. We all get a 2 to 3 hour sort of ‘date’ every week. Kittens is always a training session or run , with coffee and a catch up afterwards. Little bear gets to go out for ice-cream or a dvd on the sofa , normally something Disney related. Babe is a game of poker or pool. Mine is normally going for a walk with the dogs, a 2 hour cuddle in bed or breakfast at a local café. (Don’t ever get me started on how much I love breakfast!)

Weirdly I also get the idea of having a D/s type relationships outside of a romantic one. I have a friend who I’ve never met, who has never been anything but a friend to me but he has from the start had away about him that make me calm , simmer down and do as I’m told. he now has the role as one of mine and the girl online protectors and also has the boss mans permission  to tell me off, give me warnings and has come up with punishments in the past for rule breaks. it freaks me out some times , cos from the start I have trusted him and he always had this calm and confident manner that in need in my life . lol He even gets away with telling me to hush and stop sassing , and normally if someone other than the Frenchie or Babe said that to me outside of a club or home , well I would probably sass them back even more!

Closing thought is that yeah sex with in D/s is really important to me , but no you don’t always need it! D/s is a thing of many layers , like onions! (hey I have been watching shrek!) it can be done without sex, it can be done as just a control thing or as a simple way of friendship! What D/s really is , in my mind all about , is trust and it think that is a pretty awesome thing

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

What Kind of Rules Do You Want?

So are topic that was up for debate in bed last night was rules and what kind we had in are D/s relationship?! Ah rules , let me tell you how I love rules!!! Ok so yeah , I love rules and I have a lot of them with maître. I have a contract , that is 14 pages long and I have it as a pdf on my Dropbox account! No , really I do! But it’s what works for me. The other girls have contracts too. Babes is only 2 pages and Kitten and bears are 4 or 5 pages. Mine is longer , as I wanted or more like needed things to be very clear to me and maître as to how I wanted things to be. No I’m not a control freak, it stems from being in a relationship that had no rules, no boundaries and that ultimately did me a great deal of harm.

So I thought It might be fun to explain my contract, for it is a thing of extreme beauty! I’m going to also make a point of saying that maître went as far as have friends witness us signing it . this contract has been I use since this time last year and is the third one I have had with maître, each one gave him more and more control , at my asking. We  sit down once every 3 months and go over it and see if things need to be changed at all. it covers pretty much every aspect of my life. from how I act , to what I do , what I wear and who I can see and speak to.

The first 2 pages cover the rights and obligations of the submissive and Dominate. this covers how we wants things to work and stuff that we expect from each other. mine state that maître will look after me , guide me and take care of me . that I am allowed to think for myself, ask questions and to not be micro-managed. That I belong to maître , that I’m his to be used as he sees fit and that no one may touch me without asking you first. maître part sates his right over me and the things that he promised me. with them it states that I have given him the right to step in and take control if he feels I have taken on too much or if people bullying me. He has the right to use my body in any way , at any time and any place he wants, unless I’m sick or on my period. He has promised to never do drugs , drink to excess or allow any one to smoke around me or any part of our house. (I have chronic lung damage and a drug selectivity problem, smoke and nicotine , even second-hand make me really sick 😦 ) . the other things are about him helping to become a happy , healthy and strong submissive woman.

Next up is general rules, these cover things such as saying please and thank you, how maître is to be greeted when he comes home from work, bed time etiquette and are no shouting in the house rue. It also covers what time I am allowed to spend with my family , that I can’t see my mother or my daddy without him or one of the girls with me and what I’m meant to do if my mother has been drinking or becomes verbally abusive. Rule 13 always makes me giggle. it is as follows:

13) a) I am not allowed to touch any large electric objects (tv / fridge) without you being home. b) I must not climb on or stand on chairs, stools or ladders at any time. I must ask Babe or Kitten to pass me anything that is out of my reach. c) I must not try to fix iPad, iPod, my phone, laptop, the sky box or the Wi-Fi, at any time. That is your job.

This was put in cos I’m the most accident prone person alive! It also states that I am responsible for the running of the house and for giving the other girls jobs to help with the smooth running of the are home. The last rule in this section states that I am his submissive and his alone. That I am allowed to stand up for myself , as long as I do it in a polite , calm and respectful manner.

then  it moves on to communication. This covers things like how I greet the Boss in the morning , how I am to speak to other Dom and their subs and to normal every day manners. It also makes it clear that I am to tell maître if I am feeling unwell, overly anxious or tired. It also says that I’m to be polite and well-mannered even if I am anxious , because I can get a little rude when worried. It also covers my emails, social media use and blog post. maître has access to all of them and so does Kitten. lol the only way I was allowed a blog was if Sir Beasty was a co on it and that he knows the WordPress, Hotmail and Twitter pass words. this might seem like over kill , but I freely agreed to it , as it made me feel safer and if I have another pout of depression , well everyone will know.

Next is public behaviour, this is where it gets very strict! it covers how I must acted towards you, how I carry myself and how I must talk to people. It states I’m not to answer you back, swear in public or to move from maître’s side unless I ask to. It also covers a couple of things of sexual nature that I have to do if asked. it tells me that I must carry myself with grace and poise at all times and act in a lady like manner. Also if I’m on my own that I have to hold my head high , use eye contact and speak in a polite , upbeat tone , at all times.

We then moved on to how I act and behave in clubs. I love clubs , but I also find them really hard,  with all the noise and crowds. The are also a lot of people who knew me with my ex and that brings up sad and distressing memories , but again as with every problem that I have, I’m working on over coming it! It covers what I can wear , who I can talk to and what I can do with and without maître. the girls and I are allowed to go off and play with each other or with other subs that maître and their Dom have given us permission  to. I also have a list of people who keep an eye on me. What can I say I have a really protective maître and that is one thing I really love.

Next up are my Home rules , these are very specific . they tell me that clothes are warned between 7am and 8 pm , but between 8pm and 7am the only cloths that I can wear are posh undies (I love lacy and silky things) or panties and one of maître t-shirts (I have his superman or star wars ones). We are not allowed to wear shoes at home (maître likes his girls in bare feet) , but I am allowed sleepers , as I’m diabetic and have to take extra care of my feet! it covers what me and the girls may do with each other and that if we want to fuck we have to ask if we are allowed first (maître gets a lot of text asking that!)  we have to tidy up after every thing we do , no phones or tech at mealtimes and home work is to be done at the kitchen table. I’m in charge of keeping the bedroom how maître likes it, the rules for that are as follows.

12 a) Our bedroom is to be clean and tidy at all times. b) Sheets are to be changed every 3 days. c) All toys must be cleaned after use. d) I will ensure that the bedside table is stocked with condoms lube, fresh batteries, tissues and tiger balm at all times. e) the on suit must have clean towels and toiletries at ,all times. f) Porn is only allowed to be watch in the bed room, unless we are holding a play sleepover.

We then move on to attire , this covers how I am allowed to dress and what cloths I must wear when. it also covers that it is my job to keep maître’s cloths washed, iron and in good order. We also as a family have a lot of rules around are collars , they are :

: 1) a) I must wear my collar at all times, but it may be removed for medical treatment. b) My day-to-day collar (silver chain, with two joined o rings) is to be worn at all times, except in bed or at a club. c) My pink or purple ribbon collar is to be worn in bed. d) My purple studded collar or kitten collar, with my Mouse tag attached are to be worn at clubs, and you may attach a lead if you wish. e) It is your duty to change my collar, but I must give you the right one at the right time. . trust me we do not deviate from this at any point. I really love my collar and to me is a sign of my submission and do not like have to take it off. My everyday collar got broken when I was having hospital treatment and I dissolved in to tears. the poor nurse must have thought I was mad!

Then we move on to rules that cover my body and what I can do to it , they are as follows:

Body: 1) My body is to be free of hair (under arm / legs / pubic). Under arms to be shaved daily and legs and pubic hair waxed every 10 days. (by Sam)

2) I am to get weekly manicure. Nails are to be kept short. I may wear pink, purple, red or black nail varnish.

3) I will get pedicures ever 3 weeks. My toe nails are to always be painted. My feet are to be kept smooth and soft. I am to have daily foot rubs from maître (special time)

4) I am to get my eyebrows threaded every 10 days and my eye lashes tinted every month.

5) a) I am to get my hair cut every 8 weeks. b) I am to get my hair coloured every 12 – 14 weeks. c) I am not allowed to change the style or colour of my hair without permission. d) I am to wear my hair down and natural at all times. I may tie it back to cook, work, clean or exercise.

6) I am to wear 3 earrings in each ear. I must wear plan rings or bars in my nipple and clit piercings. They may be changed to fancy ones, for clubs or the bedroom, but it is up to you to change them.

7) tattoos are to be covered as much as possible in polite company

8) I am to be available to have my body inspected at any time you feel like it

Again these do not get deviated from.

Next up for me are my rules around my health , I’m going to skip over these as they are as boring as hell and I really don’t like to talk about my physical health that much. I have shit lots of problems. I guess the same can be said for the rules that fall under mental. they cover me going to therapy , the mindfulness and self-care stuff I have to do and me keeping my diary . they are very personal and they have been put in at maître’s want. I’m fighting depression, GAD and recovering from PTSD. I’m doing really well , but it’s hard to talk about at times! My health rules also cover what exercise I’m allowed to do and that I have to do 30 minutes a day, other walking my dogs!

Next come my personal House hold and fiscal rule. I’m the one who runs are home. I asked to be allowed to do this. I learnt how to take care of the house and home by my nana. My nana was a very strong woman and she taught me how to cook , clean , care for babies and children and how to do it with a smile. My grandpa was a master printer for the times and was very much the Dominate bread-winner, but nana was just a strong as he was and they were married , very happily for 45 years, till cancer took him from are lives. My job in running the house mean that I run the household , the girls, maître’s , my own and my work diaries. (trust me that is not an easy thing to do) I plan all the meals and do the food shopping (online) I do the cooking and cleaning , but the girls have to help with this. (it’s the only time I tell any one what to do) maître put in the rule that I am not allowed to clean for more than 2 hours a day, as when I am really anxious I can get a little ocd. On the final side of things , I ask maître to have total control over my finances . Not because I am hopeless with them or have no money. I make a good living as a dog trainer and behaviorist, I in fact earn almost as much as maître. The house we live in is mine and I own it out right . I have no debut and keep my out goings very low. I do have ever have a family that is always on the take and a big problem saying no to them. So maître took over money maters so I don’t end up giving it all away! I have a budget to stick to when buying food and house hold supplies, I get £ 50 a week to spend on anything I want and I have to ask maître’s punishment to spend more than £20 on things that I don’t ‘Need’. I have a credit card to buy petrol, food and anything my dogs need. the only thing I don’t need to ask punishment to spend money on are things for the dogs or treatment for the dogs. (love my fur babies)

Then is the section I love the most , are my rules and responsibilities towards maître. they are:

D/s 1) I’m to wake you in the mornings by going down on you.

2) I’m to shower with you 3 times a week, so you may inspect every part of my body.

3) I must keep your wardrobe in perfect order at all times.

4) I am to shave you on Sunday mornings.

5) I am to allow myself to be loved, respected, trusted and liked. I will remember that I am worthy of your love . I take the role of submissive as it makes me feel whole and at ease, but above all we are partners in life .

This is my special time rules!

Lastly on the rules front are rule to do with sex. They range from touching while having oral sex , to no masturbating without asking first to swallowing at all times. I’m not allowed to touch the toy box without asking first or play with the girls without asking. I am allowed to initiate sex, but never be the aggressor (not sure that is the right term?!?!)/ I also have a way of indicating I’m horny in public , by placing my hand on the boss’s tummy. He then finds a way of giving relief. I LOVE this rule cos its lead to some awesome out doors sex, fingering under the table in restaurants and on several ocasions to Kitten being made to go down on me in a quiet corner. (YUMMY)

The last part covers my limits, are way of dealing with rule breaks and punishments. Then the is a list of online and real-time ‘ Protectors’ . Now that would seem a little bit like over kill , but it really isnt . We have very recently had a bit of an attack on are little family. All are laptops , social media and banking stuff got hacked. But because some of are online protectors noticed odd thing, the boss stepped in and got it sorted.

So that is my / are take on rules and what I/ we wanted and felt I needed. I know it is not for everyone , but it really does help me as a submissive and it does work for me !

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x