Day 11 of The Submissive’s Advent Calendar, by submissive guide – Pancake identity.

Well Good evening my lovely’s , how has your day been? Anyone snowed in? Or are you all stuck with the horrid wind and rain that we’ve been having? Today has been a day of two halves for me. the first half was full of cooking, baking , clean and crafting. Then it turned to crap this afternoon, but more about that later.

so todays activities are based on a chapter from a book called Conquer me , by Kacie Cunningham, about her own submission. The chapter is tittle ‘this one time at Pancake Camp’  and the is a short excerpt from the book, about titles and labels and how the writer was feeling she did not feel fit them. She goes to say that she was talking to her Master over breakfast and telling him of her frustrations, and how she was not going to ascribe to them any more and that from that point on she would be known as pancake. when asked why pancake her you chose reply was ‘Because you chose pancakes! Because you obviously like pancakes! pancakes are simple, honest things, not all high-mantence like , say, crepes. I want to be something you would order!.

Both the activities are reflecting on the words we use to identify are selves , as submissive. The first was a simple reflection on the words, titles and how they make us feel. the second was to take the reflection and turn them in to an ornament. by taking one word traits like ‘love’ loving’ , then drawing or printing out an image that represents that word and making them pretty and fun using craft surplus. I was going to do the first , but then changed after I got some bad news.

The words and titles I identifier with are Submissive, Little and masochist . The masacist title is something that I kept well hidden for a very long time, as for me it was kind of hard to admit that I liked pain and being hurt, and most people don’t like that. The same with submissive, I mean who would admit to loving their partner dominating them. but as I got more in to the D/s life I saw that I was ‘Normal’ . but it still took a long time to really embrace it fully. Little is something I have found much easier to embrace, and I think this is I saw really positive images of littles and I really read up on it before hand. I knew I did not fit the classic DDlg little or AB little. I’m not in to age play, I don’t call My Dom daddy , and I don’t really have a bratty side. I do have a baby girl side , I like being looked after and I do have my own ‘little space’. I guess that Its more of a caregiver , little thing. I feel my labels fight real well now, but its taken a lot of time. We/I kind adapt the labless mean what we/ I need them to be. sort of they evolve as we grow and change as people.

So now for my bad news. Just before 5 this evening I got a phone call from my Great Aunty Betty saying that my Great Aunty Molly had passed away this morning following a massive stroke yesterday. She was 90 years old and the head of my daddy’s side of the family since my Nana died. She had a bad heart, artheritus and dementia, so really it was a happy release. But it still hit like sucka punch to the stomach and it sitle hurts. Anuty Molly was an amazing lady, who has always marched to her own beat. whether as a young girl who refused to leave school without  taking her exams. or the feisty Irish lass, who ran away to join the wrens and worked as a radio operater in ww2 .or the brave woman who kicked her husband out and divorce her husband , when he beat her. She was amazing , strong , feisty, outspoken and loving. So I have decided not to be sad , but raise a glass , kick up my heals and celebrate having this lady in my life for 37 year!

Right , now I really must go to bed and sleep. I’m off to a Christmas market in the morning!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

Day 10 of the Submissive’s Advent Calendar, by Submissive guide – Spreading good cheer.

Well good evening to you my lovely kinkies and perverts! How has you weekend been? anyone had snow? I have had a very busy, tiring , yet extremely satisfying weekend, working. I had thought that after having the twins and being away from my job for 4 months that my brain would have turned to mush, that my anxiety levels would be of the chart and that people might look at me differently. Nope, nope, and Nope! I am blessed to work with amazing people and they always give me the help, support and encouragement I  need.

So on to today’s focus, and that was about spreading some seasonal cheer. in a world that is So busy and stressful this time of year. Tempers are frail and people can be rude , uncaring and grumpy. So todays activity were ways to not only improve your mood, but those around you. The first activity was to stop, look in the mirror and smile. Smiling lifts your mood and energy levels , and it can spread like the flu! So the task was to try to keep smiling for as much of the day as you could. The second activity was for those who find smiling hard or can’t smile for a whole day. it was entitled Bells . i told of th tradition of jingle bells and how the were used to ward of evil spirits . but newer days are a quick and easy way to bring cheer and smiles to people. it suggested attaching a bell to your bag or purse and spreading cheer where ever you go! i already have a bell on my bag for work, cos it some times gets left by the dogs and they have a habit of going through my blinking bag! So i went for the first activity .

Now this was no easy task for me, cos i don’t really go round smiling that much. I have quit bad social anxiety. i avoid making eye and talking to people a lot of the time , but as with a lot of things , I’m working on it! Also i genuinely look frightening if try to smile and think about it at the same time, think Sheldon Copper trying to smile in the big bang theory , and that is me! So i kind of decided that i would think about things that make me want to smile. It worked wonders and also lifted my mood greatly . I was smiled at the reception lady , my boss and students. The first thing i notice was that my mood soured when people smiled back at me and that people stopped and said i looked happy and full of life. It was defiantly contacts as everyone was so much happier and full of beans. It also had the knock on effect of me sitting with people at lunchtime and talking, something that i can’t normally do! finished up the day and the Boss Man arrived with the babies to drive me home. I did no more than throw arms round him and give him a big kiss , right i front of people, another thing i don’t normally do. So all in all i think I’ll try the whole smile thing a bit more often!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

PS – I have just read the fed back i got for the course i led , people loved it and thought i was a good teacher!

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#SoSS , sharing the love for the ladies.

So it’s Saturday and I feel the need to share so love for my fellow lady bloggers. Cos this week has been tough, not only for me and the girls at home, but also for a lot of my online twitter friends. I guess it’s the time of year and the stress a lot of people are under with home, family and work. I know that I am bloody lucky to only be working 2 days in December and that I really love my job. I know that my darling Kitten and Babe are really feeling it at the moment, so I thought I would so the ladies a little bit of love today!

What type of dominated are you, by Kayla Lords , Loving BDSM.

So this article went with Fridays Podcast and it goes in to the different styles of Dominates that the are. I know very well that the are loads of different type of submissive , and I knew the are different types of dominate out there. I mean the Boss man is a total Sadist , but he is also a caregiver / numeral . Then are Babe is a very strict disaplineran , but also has a gentle caring side. Kayla has managed to get across a lot of the types the is, but also makes the point that you should be what ever type of dominate that you feel drawn to being. It’s written with clam passion and humour that unique way that is only Kayla Lords!

Feeling Secure within Alternative Relationship Models, Floss, Flossdoeslife.com

This piece by the lovely Floss just blew me away. I can totally get what she means and understand how she feels. I for so many years felt that I had to try to fit and be what other people think I should be. But when I finally stopped listening to other people and started living an open and honest life, well I got my happy back. So for someone else to put how I feel in to words , well yeah , wow! Thanks Floss. X

Tips for taking a sexy selfie, Candysnatch

Now I have to make a confession , I hate when men or women strut round posing and pouting, taking selfies. That being said I don’t mind smiley , silly selfies and I am in awe of people who can snap a sexy selfie, cos I know I bloody well cant. but I really want to be able to send sexy pics to the boss man , but had till this week no idea where to start. So when Candy’s peace showed up on my twitter TM , I thought I would give it a read. It is a great piece, full of tips and tricks, with some pretty hot pics! But above all it is written with , I think with a massive dose of body possertive self-love , that boosts your conferenced in yourself! (don’t know if that was the aim) So I have been practicing at home, I have got some sexy new undies and I’m going to be blowing the up a certain French mans’ phone!

The top 10 sex mistakes that people are still making, by Cara Sutra

Ok this piece made me giggle and nearly chock on my lunch on Friday. But it is so true people really do make these types of mistakes all the time. I mean we all full in to bad habits and after being with someone we love and feel comfortable around , we let things slip some times. Funny , informative and well written. So worth a read!

The bad parents guide to sex , by Aurora Glory.

Another piece that had me in fits of giggles, I was giggling so hard I had tears streaming down my face . Being a new parent I have this all to come, so this is a great way to get me thinking about things to come. Written with a great amount of humor and wit, I loved everything about this, So thanks chick! x

Well that’s it from me!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Day 5 of the Submissive’s Advent calender, by the submissive guide – The Music.

Hi, hello,hay! Well I’m up early and have hit the road running today! My uncle Fred is watching the babies while I have my English lessons. So I’m getting some help with writing this and get to have a lovely chat with a friend.

Today’s activities focus is Music and how affects you and how it inspires you . The first activity is to sit and listen to music that you love, then think about a few questions . The second is about finding a poem, or quote or single word that inspires you. Keeping it your pocket and thinking about it, and letting it inspire you. I chose the first , as music is a big part of who I am . It can effect my mood, make me smile or cry or laugh or make me horny as hell! I have quit eclectic tastes in music. I love Punk, metal and rock. But I also have a soft spot for rap and country. I will even admit to liking so pop music and even Abba. Not a huge fan of jazz or classical stuff , but they do have their place. but one of the biggest loves I have is for Folk, or should I say Irish Folk music that I was bought up on. No mater what I have going on or how I feel , Irish folk can cheer my soul, calm me down and make me feel grounded. Haha I guess I am more of traditional girl than I thought.

So the thing points:

  • How does music connect you to the world around you? Music is one of the things that can really effect my mood. I use it to help when I’m anxious  to help me stop focusing on the thing that is making me anxious. I can use it when I have a cry stuck, to make me cry. I use upbeat music start my day happy and full of energy. I guess it sort of feeds my soul!
  • Do you have a theme song? The boss man would say ‘right on time’ Cos I always have to be on time for things! but I think it would be ‘don’t take it personally’ by Monica or maybe ‘Savior’ By Destiny’s child. Cos I can be a little grumpy at times and cos I have been through some shitty times .
  • Thinking about when your playing with your partner/s or fantasize about doing so – is the there a play list in your mind? Yes defiantly! For D/s it has to be chilled and calm, with a slow beat and a melody . For fucking it has to be either slow and soft , if it’s romantic. Or if it is more intense or spontaneous , the has To be a stronger , faster beat.
  • Do you have a specific music you love to play to? What are they? why do you think they connect you to the moment? Well not specific songs , but bands like the kings of Leon, green day and nickel back. I think it’s cos they have songs that inspire me to dance and act a little naughty. I can then remember what I did to that song if it comes on the radio and then I get that sort of not in my tummy and blush at the memory of it!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

Day 4 of the Submissive’s advent calendar by submissive guide – Rewards for service.

Well Good Afternoon world! How are we all doing this fine and awesome day? I have been on a roll today. I got up did my yoga , Walked the hounds, did my neb and meds and ate breakfast, ok so that’s not the epic bit! maîtriser set me the challenge of going in to town , with the babies , on my own. So not to bigger deal really right? Well it was are first solo trip in to town on my own, I have really crippling anxiety at the moment and I have phobias of dirty places, public transport and pigeons. So for me it is a huge , huge fucking deal that I managed it! So as a reward I was allowed to buy Lego and have fries at McDonald’s !

That kind of leads us nicely in todays activities and their focus, which is based round rewards for service . The first activity was to think about what rewards you get and for what service you get them for. Not just in a submissive role ,  but as well as in your normal , every day life . the second was to write a plan or a list of what you want to achieve in the coming year. Both are majorly appealing to me , but for this post I did the first, as I’m on my own and I guess it’s easier, as any plans I make, would involve the girl and the boss man, and I can’t do that if they aren’t here!

So first thing I did was writ a list of things I do kinky and none kinky . on the none kinky list was: run the home, cooking , cleaning , washing and ironing. I run my own businesses and teach for another company .On the kinky side I look after maîtriser needs In anyway he needs me to, be that sexual or in a bdsm D/s sort of way. Him and I use consensual none consent , so I basically do as he asks, when ever he asks. It’s at this point I go , see he asks , not orders . I think the is a big difference between asking and ordering some one to do stuff. I mean yes he does it in a stern manner that makes me get all wet and horny , but he never shouts orders, he uses please and thank you and always heaps on the praise if I get something right. We have also in the last year changed and added in a care giver/little aspect and I have given him much, much more control over my day-to-day life. His also had me working on things like my self-esteem , my English , my confidence and my health. we also use reward charts, reward money and stickers. If I do all my chores and task for the day,  I get a sticker and £1 goes in my treat money tin. he will give me extra stickers for extra effort , and £1 for each one of them. I have to wait till the 1st day of the next month to open my tin and count the money. I can then save some of it if I want to buy something big or spend it if I want some little treats. It’s my money and as long as I spend it on myself and stuff that wont hurt me, I can do what I like with it! but one of the rewards I love the most are the words, cuddle and kisses I get from the girls, when they want to show how much they affricate what I do for them. The best one from the boss man is getting to spend time with him. Be it a 2 minute cuddle on a Saturday morning , or meeting at lunch time for a pub lunch , or the bath that he sits and reads to me. Other rewards I love Lego, books, stuffies, spa treats and anything to do with unicorns!

So that is my take on rewards for service, I wonder what tomorrow will bring!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

Day 3 of the submissive guides advent calendar for submissives – The wise words.

So today on are submissive advent calendar Words of wisdom that we have been given, found , or stumbled upon in are journey through life or in submission. how they have inspired us and stayed with us over time. The were 2 activities to day. The first was to sit and spend 5 minutes thinking of all the wise words you have received over the years. thinking about how the effect you and why they have stuck with you. The second was to take these wise words and turn them in to a holly bundle Christmas decoration. As much as I wanted to make the holly bundles , we have had a really busy day . We all went to mass , went a bought the last bits of are Christmas decorations , had a Lego building marathon , homework and babies to care for, so we did the first.

It was actually a really awesome way to spend 15 minutes of quiet time. I got to sit with a cup of tea, reflecting on the past and how it has shaped me as a submissive. we as a family , well us girls chose to kind of build on the idea , by listing them and chatting about while we cooked dinner. what was amazing , well I think was how we all had listed advice that we had got from each other and how they had affect us!

some of the words of wisdom I listed.

  • breath , just breath. keep moving forward, take baby steps if you have to but just keep moving, and just breath.
  • What make you weird and different , is you greatest strength.
  • in submission I find power.
  • It’s ok to not be ok all of the time.
  • The is nothing wrong with a good girl having a naughty side.
  • Love should never hurt , unless you want it to.
  • Don’t let the bastards grind you down.
  • Never under-estimate the power of a coy smile and shy eyes.

Well that was todays, cant wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

3 weeks down , 1 to go!

Well I have made it through another week of punishment and lived to tell the tale! was quite a good week on the whole, been some ups , but the has also been a few lows! Both the twins are doing good, everyone at home are awesome and I found out tonight that one of my best friends Emit Is coming to stay for Christmas and New year! I have also got 5 advent calendars! But the have been downs as well. I had to get blood work done , as I do every month. It all came back clear except for me being low on iron and folate, which I pretty much knew, so i’m on iron and flote pills ): I had a wobble , that led to me having a full on panic attack, that I had to take meds to get out of ): I got court swearing , a lot and got given the hair brush. ): I also had a ‘I hate my face’ day, that was really not a lot of fun ):  I also have to confess that my head is telling me  I don’t need to take my meds, well my anxiety and depression meds. but I have been really good and told / talked to people about it. lol the help I got from peeps on twitter was amazing! (ladies you know who you are!)

So with all this I mind Maîtriser has come up with some interesting and fun punishments and rules for this coming week! He’s  calling it the refine, define and shine week. I’m calling the Self-in-flaitted-ego week, but hoo hum! Changes / rules / tasks as follows!

  • No swearing what so ever. Punishment for each swear word , 5 from babe a the paddle.
  • 1 early morning , 1 post work out and one bed time selfie to be posted. no make up or filters.
  • Daily affirmation to be said.
  • Free time is back , but is to be used for something fun and relaxing. eg Craft , reading or writing prompt.
  • I am to rewrite my about page, using only prospective words.
  • Spelling list and reading for 30 mins a day to be done.
  • 30 mins yoga every morning followed be 10 mins meditation.
  • 2 gym sessions with Steve (core and cardio) And one sparring session with John.
  • Do daily tasks for my submissive advent Callender (starting on Friday)
  • Start the pattern for Christmas party dress.
  • Dentist appointment made and attended.
  • Write for #MM #Wickedwednesday #KOTW.
  • Plan, tidy and finish a writing space for myself.
  • Daily self-care task to be given and done daily .
  • Afternoon nap to be taken between 3 and 4pm , babies permitting.
  • Christmas list to be written , by Friday.
  • To wear what is layed out for me each day.

I also get to go on a girl date and we are all going to dinner and dancing on Saturday night to celebrate our 1 year wedding anerverseryy.

Now this is where you guys get asked to help! if by any chance I swear on here or twitter the boss man would like to know! So if you see it , drop him a line at antoine.beaulac.1965@hotmail.com.

So that’s my week , have a good one guys!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x