Blog challenge day 8 – What is something you are currently worrying about….

Well the is a lot of things that I’m worrying about right now, not sure I can narrow it down to jus one thing! So what I’m going to do is a thing I my therapist and the Boss Man get me to do, a worry list . what I do is a make a list of all the thing that I’m worried and then share it with at least 5 people, so I’m going to do it here and share it with you all!

  • Being Pregnant – It not an easy thing for me to deal with, ok I know no woman goes yay pregnancy what a riot. But with all the health issues I have and mental health stuff some days it’s just bloody terrifying!
  • motherhood – I did not have a good time growing up with my mother, and trust me that is putting it lightly. It has left me worrying that I won’t be able to bound with my babies when they get here. or that I won’t be a good mother and I will turn out to be just like my own mother.
  • My Daddy – My daddy has bipolar , Parkinson’s disease and Pick disease . His not that old , his 71, but every day we seem to lose a little more of him. In recent months his become very erratic and lashes out at people. with being pregnant it means I can’t spend time with him on my own, it’s just not safe.
  • My Mother – As I have said I don’t get on with my mother , I never have and I never will. We are polar opposites and want very different things in life. But I still love her, and that will never stop. 7 months ago she was sent to prison for Drink driving among other things , and for the last 7 months I have not seen or spoken to her. over the weekend gone she was rushed to hospital after have trouble swallowing and vomiting blood. It was thought it due to years of heavy drinking and smoking , but on Sunday she was found to be suffering with cancer of her throat. It hit me kind of  hard, left me not knowing how to fell or what to do. Thankfully the boss man took over talking to my sisters, who wanted me to drop everything and go see my mum. It has turned out not to be as bad as first thought but it’s terrifying.
  • Crufts – I have some how got 3 dog through to different thing at crufts next year. I am also teaching and working on the KC youth stands. It’s going to be epic, but tiring and the is going to be a lot of training and prep involved !
  • Work – I have had to give up working till after the babies get here. as I have said I was struggling to cope with a really busy schedule , working in a field that knocks you sideways and is incredible physically demanding. So I am having to think at what level do I need to go back after the babies get here. Hopefully I will be able to go back in to teaching and also get back to working with rescue dogs!

So those are the main worries going round my pretty little head, I have told you and now I will let them go , and breath!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Blog Challenge – Day 3 to day 6

So I have had a busy few days and when I finished my chores for the day, I have been under orders to rest up and take things easy . So I did not post my blog challenge , with the Boss Man’s permission. So I wrote them and he said I should post the 4 days that I have done all in one post. Enjoy!

Day 3 – What type of person attracts you
I’m attracted to all sorts of people, of both sexes. I’m not really about looks. I prefer someone who can make me laugh, can hold a decent conversation, and I can just kick back and chill with. I’m also big in to good manners and respecting other people views and limits. I prefer dominate men, but I have a lot of Subbie male friends. I like bot Dom and sub females. I’m in to goth, punk and pin-up looks for woman, but I also love tattoos and piercings. Men, well I like men to look like. but also, are clean and at least look like they have tried. Muscles, beard, and tattoos are all very welcome too!

Day 4 – What you wear in bed?
Normally as little as I can, but it depends on what is going on at the time. If I’m having treatment or I’m sick, I tend to go with a comfortable t-shirt and a pair of leggings. If we are at home or if we have vanilla guest or little ones staying over I have posh PJ’s from Marks & Spencer’s. If the boss man is not at home I tend to sleep in panties and one of his t-shirts. It makes me feel close to him and they are just the right size to snuggle in. If he’s home, then I wear what I’m told to wear. Whether that is t-shirt and panties or a skimpy baby doll nightie or in the nude. Strangely if I am working away and staying in a hotel, I tend to sleep naked. Hehe, I have even walked butt naked from one room to another before now!

Day 5 – 5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex / same sex.
Men – 1) Swearing all the time. 2) rowdy drunkenness. 3) cocky smugness. 4) Wearing jeans that are too big and show their ass and boxers off. 5) Disrespectful attitudes towards woman and older people.
Women – 1) Fake everything (nails/tan/lashes). 2) swearing, rudeness, and bitchiness. 3) not knowing their limits when drinking. 4)Flirting with other people’s partners. 5) constantly putting themselves down.

Day 6 – The person you like and why you like them. Dita Von Tease. I have had a massive girl crush on her for a very long time. She has made the pin-up look and burlesque main stem. But she also has an amazing mind set and attituded. She is sexy without being trashy. She is provocative without out being sluty. she wore vintage and fetish clothing before they became fashionable. She carried herself with poise and grace after the break down of her marriage. She is also a great role model for say that a woman does not need to have children to validate her as a woman.

Pixie x x x x

Blog Challenge – Day 1 ‘Weird thing you do when your alone’

Oh what a question to start with! I had to really stop and think about this, then I stopped and thought , and was like hang on I’m not weird . It’s you ‘normal’ people that are weird! but then talking to some ‘normal’ friends an it turns out I am a bit of a ‘weirdo’ , so hey hum! I’m going to list them In bullet points, cos I like that , it pleases my funny little head!

  • I talk to my dogs. Not just ‘oh what a lovely girl you are spidie’ or ‘jordie , will you leave mad eyes bum alone’. But like full on conversations. My lurcher Bella has been trained to look after me , so is with me most of the time. She is very used to talking about what I’m doing and about what is happening, hell I even ask her advice on what to wear. The weird thing is I think they understand me and sort of reply to me. (don’t judge)
  • I do house work in the nude. I find it very freeing and get a bit of a kick out of it! I have even been court out by the postman a couple of times;)
  • Lego scene building. I have a really huge love of Lego, and few years ago I found out about building little scene building. What I do is make a back ground , stag a scene and take pics of them. favourite ones to do are ones with monsters or comedy chace scenes!
  • Dancing round the kitchen in the nude. Ok I love dancing, love being in the nude and my kitchen is my favourite room in my house. simples!
  • planning. Ok so not weird so you would think, but …. I have stickers , glitter gel pens and a big old planner. I sit and spread out a cross the kitchen table , put my iPod on super load , sing and plan! its heaven and it is away for
  • I binge watch things on YouTube. things like extreme coupons or super market sweep. I never get to watch crap when the rest of the family , cos their high brow!

So that is my shameful weirdness! So what do any of you do that is a little weird , when your on your lonesome??

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

Dah da dah!

Good evening kinksters and nilias of the world!

So I have been a little bit on the poorly side again and had a blip on the depression front, but it is getting better! I was a really good girl and asked for help. the Boss Man and girls have been ace. i got give loads of help and the Boss Man has added in loads of stuff to support me! one of the things is a Blog challenge , as I did the 30 days of D/s and that helped massively with mood and structure in my everyday life! So he found 20 challenges, and ask Kitten to pick 5 and then asked girls to pick 1. Well then I ended up in hospital and Kitten and the girls had no idea which one to choose, so they asked Sir beasty to pick one. He was super cool and picked one for me! (fluffy breadie one is good!) So I will be staring that tomorrow! The boss man has also set me the task of writing a 2000 word story with in a month and I am starting that tomorrow as well!

This is my 30 day challenge …..

blog challenge!

I’m also going to make a super big effort to upload my Diary every Monday . I will also be finding a willing victims to do question times with the girls, cos we love doing it and also love asking questions and getting to know people! We are also thinking of doing a Sub problem page / agony aunt thing! So if you have a question , problem or want to be a victim hit us at pixieheartblog@hotmail.com .

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Question time with maîtriser

So its been ages , right?!? again my health kind of got in the way, with low moods , Hospital and sofa days, but I’m now (touch wood) fixed up for a bit! So I have sat myself down with laptop and have started on all the Blog post I had planned, top of that list was Question time with maîtriser, So here it is!

1. Describe your kink self in 10 words? And the vanilla you in 10 words?! (Mouse) My kink self would be: Dominate, sadistic, passion, strong minded, care giver, protector, lover, friend. My vanilla self: Hard working, dead acted, fighter, strong willed, stubborn, fair, lover and friend. How did I know you would want words mouse?!
2. Top 5 kinks and why you like them? (kitten) 1) D/s. It seems to be something that sits well with my personality and speaks to my soul. 2) Sadism. I enjoy inflicting pain on willing partners. Mouse and Kitten talk of the high they get from feeling pain, well I get the same high from dishing it out! 3) Voyeurism. I’m an extremely visual person and watching people fucking, has been a kink for as long as can remember. So, having you 4 shows off minxes in my life is a blessing. 4) Bondage. I love the look off and the act of tying down a willing partner. It one of the ultimate forms of power exchange. 5)Fucking Outside or in risky places. Again, it’s a power exchange for me and, I get a high from the fact I could get court.
3. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength? (Little Bear). I used to see crying as a weakness. But over the last few years I have switch my view around. I believe that this is down to little mouse. When she was in hospital after trying to hurt herself, she tried so hard to keep her feelings inside, but when she let go and cried, it took my breath away at how much strength it took. It was a relies that she needed, but at the same time she had to be almost vulnerable. Now I know when one of my girls need to cry and get the relief they need. Ha-ha, I even have the odd tear or two myself. (my wedding day, finding out mouse was pregnant and telling my mother she was going to be a grandmother)
4. Who or what is your nemesis? Carbs, red meat, and cheese! HAHA mouse has me on a daddy to be eating plan! Pretty eyes, shy smiles and good manner have also been my undoing many, many times as well! That is why I have you 4 in my life! (Babe)
5. Describe all of us in 5 words (for each of us) Babe, Beautiful, talented, Sexy, switch and friend. Kitten, Sweet, funny farce stunning and loyal. Little Bear, Little, cute funny silly and brat. Mouse, Shy, funny, brave, beautiful, my hero and home. (all)
6. Who inspires you the most and why? My mother. She has bought me up on my own. She is amazingly clever , worked unbelievable hard and pushed me to become the best me I could be. She is a professor , but never makes people feel bennet her. But above all she is my mother. I would say all you ladies inspire me a little too! On a work level, it would the likes of Babyface, Glenn Frey, Don Henley and Lemmy. For their song writing, music playing and producing skills! (Babe)
7. Where do you stand on punishment? Punishment needs to fit the crime! It should sting, make an impact, and leave a mark. IT should be done as soon after the break of a rule , never held over a sub and should always include aftercare. (Kitten)
8. What is the most sensible thing you have ever heard someone say? You ask that little one! No , it would be my Nona telling me ‘Do what makes you truly happy, love with your whole heart and trust your gut. She is a very wise old bird!(Little Bear)
9. What 5 events have had the biggest impact on who you are today? My first day at School, the day I lost my virginity, the day I parted with my first sub, my wedding day, and the day I found out I was going to be a father. (Mouse)
10. What is the most embarrassing, funny, and hottest sex you have ever had?!m (All) HAHA! Hottest was bending mouse over trunk of my car, spreading her legs and fucking her for everyone to see. That was a good punishment. Embarrassing, the whole piggy blow job, burst blood vessel and hospital run. Funny, well that is when Babe was drunk and started trying to Make me act as her sub! Everything she tried to get me to do I came back 10 times harder, and she woke up still tied to the kitchen table!
Other silly questions – Can we get a new puppy? Or a Unicorn? Can we be Disney princess for Halloween? Where is the key to the toybox? Why are we not allowed to have pop tarts for tea??
No, No, Yes, Babe has it and If I let Mouse or my little bear have that much sugar the world would end!

Hope you enjoyed it!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Question time with Sir Beasty.

So you may have heard me go on about ‘Sir Beasty’ before, but none of you have really met him have you?! So I asked him , nicely to do a question time thing for me and the girls, as a sort of getting to know him thing! The Boss man was going to be first up for this, but he had to go work in Paris for a week, so Sir Beasty stepped up and took one for the team! I should explain a little about him and how I know him. Well his a friend of mine who is simply one of the most amazing people who you will ever meet! Sweet , funny and caring . His a very clever guy, our super hero and a very talented dude. He also acts as an online protector to myself and the girls. He is also , strangely one of a like 5 men outside the Boss man who I trust. He is also allowed to tell me off, to shush me and to simmer down. But above all this he is someone who makes me feel safe , loved and makes me laugh at myself! So Big Love and Squeashes to the Beasty for doing this for me! (We loves you whole bunches sir!)

Question time with Sir Beasty.

1. Who inspires you and Why? (Babe)
a. Strong beautiful women inspire me. People who overcome inspire me. Diverse lives with meanings that can be construed as deep, touching, vulnerable… those people inspire me because fear does not limit them, it does not stop them. It inspires them to do more, be more and try… more.
2. Dom, Sub or switch, Discus? (Kitten)
a. Switch – I find it easy to slip into a Dom role when in the right company. I can sense submissive and instantly want to protect them. I can also pick up on dom female personas and naturally like to please.
3. Top sexual Fantasy and why? (little bear)
a. So many… I fantasize about sitting down to study, write or goof off on a game console and a beautiful woman wearing my shirt and heels walks in to the room I am in. She has that look in her eyes says she’s ready to play, to give me anything I want. I ignore her as long as I can, making her wait for what she wants. In some of these fantasies, I am talking on a conference call at work or online with friends and she does everything she can to get me to crack under the pressure. The cat and mouse game goes round and round waiting for one of us to give, to cum and to scream in pleasure.
4. What are your turn ons and turn offs? (Mouse)
a. Confidence, strength and curiosity are turn-ons. Chewing with your mouth open, inane babble and inability to keep up in conversation are turn-offs.
5. Dirty talk, yes or no? examples please? (all)
a. YES – Oh hell yes! That is much easier demonstrated in person
6. What kind of music do you play when you’re about to get your freak on? (kitten and Mouse)
a. New Age, Moby, atmospheric, thunderstorms with a drum beat underlay… so many options. Sexual tempo and temperature change with the tempo of the music.
7. What kinks do you have and what would you like to explore? (babe)
a. I have many kinks, so many. I would explore almost everything given the chance.
8. What are you top 3 strengths? (Little bear)
a. Listening, empathy, ability to give people what they need.
9. Describe your perfect day? (Mouse)
a. When I find it, I will let you know.
10. Best, worst, and most embarrassing sex ever? (all)
a. This will take some time to explain lol
Added to this were the questions are unicorns real? have you seen a mermaid? and where is the treasure hidden? But the boss man said no to them (Meanie)

Since you asked nicely… The treasure is )(*(&(*#(*&(*&#HJD))()*#)(_ _)_#_)_(&*#^*&# *(@#(*^&$)

Well that is Sir beasty! Next up is the Boss Man , if we can get him to sit down and answer the blinking questions! (How much trouble would we get if we sat on him and tickled him till he played ball?!?!)

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

From the heart…..

So I have been away from writing for a bit, what with conferences , babies and life getting in the way, it’s been all I could do to climb in to bed at night and not just crash out on the sofa. But now , well now I’m free to stop, breath and look around at what is going on in the wider world! What do I see ?!?! well friends and loved one struggling. people fighting and hurting other people . Things that make me want to hide behind the boss man and come out when all is clam and still again!

To be 100% honest with myself , I am finding things hard at the moment . Not anything as hard as some people , just a sort of resurfacing of my blue mood and anxieties, that as hard as I try I can’t stamp down on and tell to go away again. I think I have been so busy for such a long time , that now I don’t have stuff to worry about or be doing, I feel sort of deflated and sad. I also feel a little detached from the real world and out of touch with what is going on around me. I keep finding myself close to tears or just starring in to space. I feel like I have lost my way a little and that I can’t get myself motivated!

So I have asked the Boss man to step in and asked for some extra support. (more than I get now and more than I probably deserve). The Boss man is off to paris for work for 6 days , but he is leaving Babe in charge, so I got the best person in the world to make sure I do as I’m told! for the rest of this weeks I’m under orders to rest, recover and regroup. I’m not allowed to answer any ‘work’ emails, unless it is 100% life or death. I am to do my daily routine as laid out by the boss man and nothing else. He’s adding in a few more Self care things. (listing them below) Next week , I am allowed to work but for 5 hours a day max. He has also decided that he’s going to find me a 30 day blog challenge as he feels that writing is something that really helps me deal with stuff . We are also going start getting ready for D-day (October 28th). Supper Excited to do that (making a list already!)

Self care tasks –

  • Make a list of activities and tasks that make you happy.
  • Make a list of anxiety triggers.
  • Make a list of people who inspire you.
  • Yoga everyday. (with Kitten or Babe)
  • Meditation everyday.
  • Make a calming playlist.
  • Plan Family days (Saturday or sunday)
  • Do something creative everyday.
  • Write a list of places , things and activities you want to try.
  • Meal plans for the next 3 days
  • Daily affirmation

So that is from my messed little head and this crazy little heart,

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x