Reading, thinking and 1 to 5 –

Last night (Sunday) after maîtriser told me new rules / punishments, I was sat thinking about them and the #SoSS  post on twitter. One of the things I have to do this week is read at least 3 blog post a day and then discus them with either maîtriser Or Babe . I had an idea, I love the blogs I follow , but I sometimes get a little overwhelmed by the amount of awesome post , I mean the are so many of them , where would I start! Then I had a light bulb moment , why not use the #SoSS posts! then I get help picking what to read and I know I’m reading the cream of the crop! So I asked maîtriser if I could do that and it was met with a smile, nod of his head and kiss. The fact he said ‘that’s   a good girl , think outside the box, I’m so proud of you’ was a huge bonus! (:

So yesterdays #SOSS was the Lovely and very talented Candysnacthreviews . I chose to use her #SoSS candy’s pick and mix 4. Just want to say that as always it was beautifully written and layer out I an extremely inviting way.

Getting Lucky – Scandarella – Story Written for Masturbation that is so hot I may have had to calm myself down , twice! Beautifully written , great visualisation and exquisite use of language. Love every second of this and I even read it to the girls as a bedtime story last night!

Crying after sex:two stories – Girl on the net. – Such a relatable piece of writing , that was so emotive that I had a lump in my throat and by the end I had tears streaming down om y checks. I think that anyone who has ever suffered with depression or anxiety well of felt this and this just sums up those feelings so perfectly.

Living With Invisible Bisexuality When You Look Hetero – Cara Sutra – Yet another piece that I could whole heartedly relate to! Being bi and poly myself , I look for the best like a normal(ish) hetro female. I had never stopped and really thought about it that much before, but I do. it also kind of makes why people are so shocked when they see me and kitten or little bear kissing in public! Thus really made me stop and think about it

Rosie Heart – Why i love doing sex work (and why it should’t mater) – A very thought-provoking and genuinely moving piece of writing . It made me look at sex workers in a different light completely (not that I looked down on them or anything like that) Really loved this and will be reading more of her stuff!

The Oooh Review!!! Leatherette Vixen Full Body Harness Review – Really awesome review of a product that not only made me want to try it , but made think ‘ I really want to review stuff, I just don’t have the guts!’ So bravo!

I also have to do as punishment my nana’s 1 to 5 thing . Which always makes me smile , even when I don’t want too!  So here we go with that.

Bad / crappy thing or thought – My sisters think I’m mad for not wanting to share a nanny with them and cos i would rather uncle fred or the girls watched the babies.

Good things.

  1. I manged to go get my blood work done without freaking out or fainting. I took the babies with me and walk to the hospital (3o min walk) and got the bus home.
  2. I have applied to do start my writing class again in the new year, for 2 hours on a thursday morning. maîtriser can work from home one day a week and has agreed to watch the girls for a morning.
  3. I have finally got my Christmas baking sorted out and have a kitchen full of christmas cakes!
  4. i have scheduled 5 post on this blog for this week. (well i think i have but you never know with me!)
  5. I feel much happier in myself after getting back to doing yoga and meditation every morning. i also cant wait to get back to the gym this week, even if it’s only core work and cardio!

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2 weeks done, 2 to go!

So I made it through 2 weeks of punishment with no fuck ups or extra punishment! YAY PIXIE! It’s been a hard week on a lot of fronts , but not due to punishment. No any hassle I’ve had has been from my sisters and on a professional front , and that is all sorted now. It’s felt strange and odd to have to let others do stuff and not do it myself, but the house is still standing, we are not facing financial ruin, and the world is still turning!

This week Maîtriser wants me to work a little on myself and my self-esteem. I have a lot of issues around how I see myself and how I think people see me. This stems from being bullied pretty badly at school, ill-health and being in an abusive relationship cfor way to long. I guess I got in to the mind set of if people call you fat or ugley or stupid enough times , you start to believe it and I did for a long time. but over the last few years I been working with a therapist to challenge these thoughts and beliefes , but they still flare up at times and sometimes they can start to do harm again. being truthful they have started to be a problem over last few weeks , but I try to keep them hidden and not talk about them.  But i’m not going to any more and i’m actually looking forward to working on them a bit over the next 7 days! So here are this weeks rules / punishments.

  • I am to read 3 blog post of my choice everyday and disscuse them with maîtriser or Babe in the evening. I may also comment on the post online.
  • Weekly Writing prompt to be done by Thursday (800 words)
  • Daily mindfulnesss tasks and brain training (30 mins)
  • English lessons 3 times with John.
  • 2 gym sessions with Steve (cardio and core)
  • 30 mins of yoga plus 10 min meditation.
  • Write a goal list for the next 6 months
  • Write an eating plan for myself for the next 4 weeks.
  • Daily diary to inculed all food , activety and sleep.
  • Christmas party dress pattern and fabric shopping to be done .
  • daily tasks to be given in the morning by maîtriser. ]
  • 1 to 5 to be done every time I have a negative thought about myself.

I have also  got to work on my swearing and loosing my temper with myself. So if anyone catches me swearing or grumping, wag a finger at me!

Well lets see how we go!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

#SoSS – Spreading the love!(family style)

Right so yeah we thought we would jump on the Share our Shit Saturday band wagon! (the Boss man, the girls and myself . not the Royal we!) to be honest ive had 3 people give me shout outs in the last 3 weeks and really feel the need of d to share the love for some pretty epic bloggy -woggy- do dah peeps that are out there. (I’m going to point out , I’m not drunk or high , but I’m that tired at the moment and had to deal with dog drama today, that it has fried my brain a little bit! ). So having said that I was going to do this to the girls, they wanted to join in and the French man was like, oh well I’ll have some stuff I wont to big up too! So we are doing a  big old family round-up! What we have done is each pick 3 things / blogs / People we are loving and rambled about why we like them, So here goes!

Maîtriser / Boss man

From Daddy’s Desk, with John Brownstone. – A short video from John Brownstone from the Loving BDSM podcast, on why it’s not cool to use silence as away of punishing a submissive. This gent has articulated my thoughts in a much better way than I could have. as I would have said don’t treat you sub as second class citizen, grow up and stop being a dick! Clear , to the point and highlighting that it can do more harm than good.

Wear and Tear, by Molly Moore, for KOTW – Beautiful piece and stunning photo by Molly Moore of Molly’s daily kisses. Good read, but the best part by far is the picture she took of herself. Getting across how arousing knife play and cutting off of clothes can be!

Anxiety and Events, By the princess of kink, for Kinkcraft. – Now I should say that the Kinkcraft Podcast is in my girls top podcast. Bless them , they will all sit at the kitchen table and listen to Andrew and Pixie , then afterwards they will discuss what they had been talking about and each give their take on it. This article really hit a cord with me as mouse suffers so badly with G.A.D. it gave me more ideas of how to help her and also made me look at things from her view point. So Thank you to all involved!

Babe –

Pink hai don’t care!!! Learning to love myself! – A Post from the wonderful Candysnatch, a blogger who has a great outlook on life and is the epitome of body and sex posativatey . I read this article and past it on to are little bear, who has really bad problems with her body image problems. It has given her a real boost and as a knock on effect we have much happier little bear! So Big thank gouges lady!

Drama in the BDSM comunity , Loving BDSM. This one was kind of said what we all want to say about people bringing drama in to a D/s or kink environment. It really was wicked for people to actually say what we thought , but out loud for a change. lol basically the advise is just to deal with it calmly , talk to people, find your on fit , speak up or to someone as needed , and for everyone to just try the hardest to get the fuck a long! Little Pixie loved this on and she giggled the whole way through, so a Big thank you to Kayla and John! x

Hoilday gift guide 2017. By Coffee and Kink. – Really big thanks for this article. I hate Christmas shopping and I never know what to get people , but this is a fucking awesome guided to what is hot for the kinkies in my life!

Kitten –

Bisexuality, episode 48. Proudtobekinky podcast. -so we all love the Proudtobekinky podcast and when we first listen to this one it was kind of light bulb moment for us all! Floss was speaking for not just her but us too! So many myths got busted in this one podcast. Pixie also listen to this with Aunty May , who said ‘That girls got away with words and talks a lot of sense’ . So if she is saying it’s worth a listen it’s worth a listen!

Bitch. – Beatiful picture of an Irish blogger that we are all a little obsessed with! Great use of colour and lighting, positioning and placement. Sends shiver down my spine. Lace – Sinfull Sunday #344, by Little Switch Bitch.

Southern Sir’s Place, By John Brownstone.  – So we are not really allowed to fallow blogs of other dominates unless the boss man knows them in person. But the is a the odd exception , Sir Beasty is one and  rather new one is Mr John Brownstone. His blog is now one of are favourites. The are great post for Sinful Sunday, Kink of the week and about his life! one of the most funny , sweetest and loving Dom that the is around and on the net!

Little Bear

The complete truth about Daddy Doms and little girls , By Kayla Lords , For KinkCraft. – I’m a little and I love being a little , but I some times feel people think I just act like a child and do it for attention. No I do it cos it is part of who I am and allows me to feel happy, safe and loved. This article by Kayla lords sums everything up so well and is right on the money for me. Thank you Mrs Babygirl!

Sinful Sundaysinful Sunday is one of Molly Moore’s memes . Your given a prompt every month and come up with sexy Picture that you feel fits the prompt or any other sexy pic you want to add. I’m not good at taking pics , but I love looking and reading what others come up with!

Submiisve Guidesubmissive guide is a site I love, its full of all things to do with submission and great ideas. with article and ebooks that you can download and keep. We have got the submissive advent Callender and I can’t wait for it to be time to start it!

Mouse –

Torture Garden Special , Floss does life. when I was younger I used to love go to To TG , but after things went pear-shaped for me I stop going and now my anxiety levels are stopping me from going. Read this piece by floss was like being there myself, she made I sound so really. I could almost feel the beat of the music and see all the bright colours. She has really got it spot on and has got me going I have to make it back to TG next year!

How to picth your idea to website, By the smutancer. Great article by Kayla Lords , aka the smutlancer. All about how to pitch ideas to people and companies. Now I have not use this to pitch writing stuff to kinky peeps yet, but I did use the advice and use it in my none kinky life, selling some article and 4 course idea, so it really does work. Pretty much everything on the smutlancer is super helpful and so easy to understand!

Wicked Wednesday, Reblsnotes.com – Wicked Wednesday is one of my fav writing memes on the net! Great prompts weekly and you can write erotica or a little bit about your real life. Love the feedback you get and the support you get!

Podcast we love and thing everyone should give a listen!(even Great Aunty May agrees)

Loving BDSM

Kinkcraft

Proudtobekinky

The Dildorks

Black People Kink

Cousenually Speaking

Off the cuffs

And lastly ….. My great Aunty May wanted this to be included as she thinks it’s the funniest , best written and most relevent Podcast around at the moment, and that all men and women should listen to it! The Guilty Feminist.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Ps this was meant to be posted on Saturday, but I was a bit manic , then on sunday all I did was cry and giggle , then last night but I fell asleep again! So it’s posted on a Tuesday!

My nana’s 1/5 principle.

I  may have said this before , but as a kid growing up both my mother and my daddy work full-time jobs. it meant that we had a nice home, nice car, nice holiday , posh clothes and bloody good education. (well my sisters got the good education, I was kick out of 3 schools and ended up in a pru, but hey hum!) What we didn’t have was  a stable home life or enough time with either parents. But that never mattered very much to us because we had the love , care and guidance of the most amazing grandparents , ever! well on my daddy’s side. my mother’s side were as cold and distant as my mother. My granddah was a very funny , sweet and charming man, but he suffered from Parkinson’s from the age of 62 and I was only 12 when I lost him. My Nana, well she was my world. She was amazing, sweet and the perfect wife, mother, grand-mother, great Nan, and great great nanny. she was a lot like me (mind out the gutter please), Shy, submissive and hated conflict or having to take the lead. growing up I swear I only ever heard her wanting 3 things , a large sherry, M&S clothes and for her family to be happy. But underneath all this she was a really clever lady too. She was her own boss, working as a cleaner, cook and nanny , while bringing up 9 kids. she had ways of getting us kids to behave and get along , when the were times I could happily wacked my cousins over the head. I remember that if we fought about anything she would make us hug the person we had been fighting with and make us say why the had made us angry. you see her way of thinking was that you can’t be cross with someone your hugging, and she is bloody right!

as I got older I started to suffer with what she called, the twisted voices in my head. The self-doubt , anxiety and learned hate of myself. I did stuff as a teenager that I am not proud of, that I could not tell anyone or express in any other way than self harm. but the one person I knew I could always turn to was my nana. she got me through the hard times by loving me and never, ever stopping loving me, for me. When you think and feel like the family fuck up , to have someone just love you is an awesome feeling. she was a very shred lady to and had a nach of knowing when to not trust someone. Ha, she hated my ex from the first time she met him  and always told me I could do better. (SO should have listen to her!) .

She had learnt a way of dealing with her nasty voices from her mummy and she in turn taught it to her kids, and then to me. We called it nana’s 1 to 5 principle. Basic what you do is take 1 really yucky , crappy thought or situation , sit down think  super hard and come up with 5 amazing , awesome and cool things you have in your life , or that you have done. it’s not really rocket science , but it works on a lot of different level really . firstly saying what has happened out loud really helps you own what is wrong. Then the fact that you sit down and think of something other than what is wrong is incredibly calming! Then coming up with 5 things that are good and positive really makes you go ‘ oh yeah, so my life don’t suck too bad!’ . kind of the best self-care , self-help thing ever.

So this is how I have used it this week to help myself . Bad, yucky thing my mother has been super nasty about my sisters and I not doing what she wants. good things – 1) I have written everyday this week, over 20000 words in total, Super proud of that. 2)I have been allowed to get back to yoga. still able to do my moves and stretch, so I will be back to fully flexible soon! 3)I am down to 1 antibiotic each day and no anit- viral, with no sign of infections! 4) I have sat down and planned out the first 3 post for a series of blog posts. Go pixie pops!!! 5) I have 2 of the most beautiful little girls in the world, something I never thought would ever happen to me!

Hope that made you smile as much as it did me !

Pixie x x x x

 

His voice. 

I hate working away from home. The 12-hour days spent setting up the class room, the question that I have had to answer a 1000 time before, then the packing away, only to come back and start all over in the morning. The worst part is the drive to the budget chain hotel, to my bland, generic room and a long evening of tv and myself deal with. But tonight is going a little better than most nights, as I have my darling kitten with me, we have permission to play and we have a call from maîtriser to look forward too!
We are under orders to be fed, bathed and in pj’s by the time he calls at 8 pm. So that’s how we come to be perched on the end of the bed, with Kittens phone between us, counting down the seconds till he rings weirdly it’s his voice I miss the most, after the way he feels when I cuddle him. It has the ability to make my do as I’m told one minute, to make me smile the next and wet and horny the next. It can calm, arouses and command all at the same time. His thick French accent, with a hint of Italian and your occasional slip of the tongue that tells of your time spent living in the west country.
Lost in a slight day dream I nearly jump out of my skin when kittens phone starts to blare out his ring tone of ‘all my friends’ By Dermot Kennedy starts to play. I think kitten must have been thinking the same as me, as her sacking hand reaches for the phone and she slide the lock screen and hits the answer button and then speaker. ‘Hello’ she says in a small voice that is very much her being shy and nervous.
Then comes his voice in a thick droll and steady as always, ‘Hello kitten, hello mouse, how are both my little ones? Have you been behaving? Have you been good girls for me?’ It’s with these word that I’m lost, I breath out a sigh I did not know I had been holding in. My shoulder hunch as I relax, letting all the stress of the day go and let the feeling of being safe and love, wash over me. God how I have missed him.
Kitten and I turn to face each other with the phone between us. sitting crossed legged on the bed, tucking feet underneath. We chatter away about what we have been doing and how are days have been. Having turned to face Kitten I feel a little distracted, but then I always do when it comes to Kitten. She is so damn beautiful it takes my breath away. Shifting a little, my knee bumps hers, I look up at her big brown eyes and blush. ‘So how did your course go little mouse?’ I hear coming from the phone, but It barely registers in my fuddled little brain.
‘hmmmm. Yes, what was that’. which is met with a shocked look on kitten’s face and stony silence from the other end of the line. Then clearing of his throat and ‘Mouse what did I just ask you?’. I panic and try I recall what he said, but I just can’t. I know not to umm or ahhh about thing or try to stall when asked something. So, I chose to fess up.
‘I don’t know, I was too busy looking at Kitten and thinking about doing stuff to her’. Blushing like flip and looking down at my lap. Again, I hear him clearing his throat and then a chuckles ‘what a sort of things mouse? Were they naughty things? Have they made you wet little one? Kitten be a good girl and check for me.’
She is up on her knees and moving towards in an instant. She pushes me back on the bed, her hand pulling my panties to the side, slipping inside, and plunging in to me. slowly running her cold finger up and down, then circling my clit. As quickly as she started her check, she abruptly removes finger, and brings it up to her mouth. ‘she is wet maîtriser, she smells yummy. please can I taste her maîtriser?’
‘As you asked so nicely, yes you may Kitten, but listen to me, I want to hear you make her moan and whipper, and then when I tell you Ruin her for me kitten. Do you understand? ‘ . I move myself up the bed, pulling me t-shirt off and hooking my thumbs in the waist band of my panties, dragging them down over my hips. Kitten is on her knees and curling up the bed towards me, the look in her eyes makes me whipper. I hear maîtriser chuckle and the sound of a zip being pulled down. Oh, dear god now I know what he’s doing at the other end of the line. I have blinding vision of him stroking his cock.
Next thing I know kitten is between my legs, having pulled my panties all the way off and tossing them on the floor. Maîtriser tells her to go slow, teasing, and gentle. His gentle tone is telling me to play with my nipple rings, to lose myself in the feeling and that I can stroke my kitten if I want. My eyes close and I just feel. her fingers, her tongue and the sound of maîtriser voice, its start to become a growl. His close, I can picture his hand moving faster and feel his grip become firmer.
Kitten has reached my clit and is lapping at it like her namesake. then I hear the words ‘Now kitten, make her come now!’ That’s when she sucks my clit between her teeth, biting lightly and pushing her tongue flat against my clit. I can’t keep it in any longer, I come undone, scream out her name and then all feel is bliss. I hear grunts coming and the throaty growl.
When I come down of the celling, when my breathing calms, I looked down and see kitten kneeled between my legs, a happy smile on her lips, then her tongue licks the moisture from her lips. A muffled noise breaks the silence. We sit up looking for kitten’s phone, that has become tangled up in the sheets and pillows.
‘that’s my good kitten, well done little one’ comes the voice on the other end. ‘Good girl mouse, you sound so beautiful when you come’ Smiling from ear to ear I roll on to my tummy and kiss kitten. I can taste myself on her lips. Then I hear ‘now mouse I want you to return the favour to kitten, and then I want you to turn the lights out and go to sleep, do you understand’
‘Yes maîtriser, we do.’ We say in unison. A reply of ‘good girls, Good night my sweet little ones’
‘Good night maîtriser, we love you’ we say. Then we hang up and I turn to kitten and promptly return the favour.

Wicked Wednesday

The girl in the mirror, learning to love myself.

The girl in the mirror, learning to love myself.
I have never really had a great love of what I see when I look in the mirror. I never liked how I looked growing up as a kid. I was small and scrawny as little kid. I had thick glasses, red frizzy hair, thick glasses and a tiny up turned pig nose. Then at the age of 9 need to take steroids for health problems and I put on weight. I was bullied badly at school and at home, by my mother and her father. When I turn 13 a grow about 5 inches in a year and I start to train at a boxing club with my dad. I lost weight, gained muscle and attitude. I chose to fight back at the bullies and the world. but this led to me getting kicked out of school for being a ‘troubled ‘kid.
Fast forward a to a few years ago and you see a girl whose self-esteem is rock bottom, who hides herself away. My body was covered in scares from years of self harm and tattoos from my years of angry rebellion against a harsh world. Stretch mark from rapped weight gain and then weight loss. Add more scares from chest drains from ill health and miss shaped bits from bike accidents and broken bits from my beatings from my ex. So, when my darling Maîtriser came in to my life a few years ago, one of the First things he wanted me to work on was my, in his view titled perception of my body. He said he wanted to me to see myself the way he and the rest of the world saw me, and not how my broken brain saw myself.
So, with therapy, gym workouts and time and love, I started to work on my self-esteem and started to challenge how I saw myself. One of the things I did and still do from time to time is put myself down. I will say something like I hate my face or I’m so fat. This upsets maîtriser, he says it’s like me saying that he is not right that I am worth him loving. At first, I was not sure I was worthy, but as the days went on and I feel increasingly in love and I learned to trust again, I saw that he was right. So, I tried to stop, but I still slipped from time to time.
As a sort of punishment and sort of his way of challenging this, he would for ever put down I made about myself I would have to come up with 10 things I liked about the way I looked. Having just had twins, the put downs have come to the surface again. So, when I said, ‘lord my face looks so chubby’ I was made to stand in front of the mirror again and make my list of 10 things I like, here is what I found
1. I love the colour of my eyes and how they seem to change with my mood.
2. I like my small pug nose and how it’s too small to keep my glasses on when I sneeze.
3. I love my high cheek bones and dimples.
4. I love my Hight. Just right that I can rest my head on maîtriser shoulder when we dance.
5. I love my small hands, that are strong and know how to do so many things.
6. I love my boobs and nipples, and the amazing feeling I get when they are played with.
7. I love the stretch marks on my tummy and hips. Reminds me of caring my babies.
8. I like the scares on rib cage. They remind me of the strength it took to fight back from illness
9. I like the scare on my left for arm. It makes me think that, given time scares fade, if not always leave you totally
10. I love the tan line on my ring finger, reminds me of being married to maîtriser and how special are bond is.
I don’t think I’m ever going to the type of person who is going to spend hours looking in the mirror. But I have learned to like what I see and realised that if maîtriser is happy and loves what he sees, then so should I, cos he is a man who is rarely wrong about stuff like that.

I really loved writing this and I feel like it was something I needed to do, without knowing I did. Does that make sense? I wrote today at a coffee shop, while my little ones dozed in their pram and the rest of the world went about their business. For now my life is good, happy and settled.

Pixie x x x x

Wicked Wednesday

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Dairy 16/10/17 – 22/10/17.

Diary: Mouse
Monday 16th October 2017: 5.45am – Well I have to say waking up in my own, with the girls and with you is the best feeling ever! So, I’m getting up and having breakfast.
6.30am – I’m dressed, had breakfast and meds and neb done. Can I go feed the girls now please???
7am – squeak! The girls can have a bath I a bit! Thank you for feeding Evie and burping Connie, Evie is not quite getting the boobie yet! And shush about my boobies and wanting to tie me up, not for a bit big man!
8.30am – Bath time. Be still my heart, I have never seen a man look so frightened of doing something wrong. Connie looks tiny in your hands.
9am – So home and house mouse time! Little bear is such a good girl, she has put the washing on and the dishwasher!
10am – Ok so I’m doing my own meds for the week…. Breath mouse, breath….
11.15am – back to feed the girls and have cuddles! Love you Frenchie.
12.45pm – Please, please, please stop sing Justine Bieber songs at the babies, they are starting to like them! Can’t you do something metal or rock? Country or punk? People are going to think were weird or something!
1pm – fettucine Alfaro, from starch, I’m so impressed!
1.30pm – Nap time! (and story and cuddles!)
2.45pm – Off to do feeds and cuddles. Blimey, I will be glad to get them home so it’s a wee bit less chaotic!
4pm- Dog walking! Dear god have I missed being able to do this and not get puffed out after a km!
5.15pm – Little bear and Babe cooking dinner together for the first time ever. Was awesome and Babe letting little bear boss her round a little was a nice touch! (was that your idea?)
6pm – Last feed of the day and just think they will be home this time tomorrow!
8pm- tired and needy! Bath, snack, and bed.
9.15pm – Can we go and get the girls tonight?!? Please?!?!?
12.10am – ok so I feel sleepies, but it’s tomorrow so we can go get the girls 
1am – pain killers and sleeping pill is needed! Love you x
Tuesday 17th October 2017: 8am- Ok so I slept well, thank you for taking charge and making me take meds. I admit I was being stubborn and I’m very sorry. So, can we go get the girls now???
9am – Ok I made a pig of myself, but that is the best breakfast ever! Porridge with bananas and honey, fruit toast and 3 figs with yoghurt and nuts! Can we go now?!?
10am – kitchen clean, bathrooms blitz, and dinner in the slow cooker. Can I at least pop the stuff in the car?!?
10.30am – YAY! Thank you for saying we can go get them!
11am – This is really real!!!
11.30 – Way to make your wife cry! How did you get NICU graduate t-shirts and the unicorn car set cosy’s??? I must say thank you to Kitten as well, leggings and zip up hoddies, in different purples. I have the most style savvy babies!
12.45 – baby briefing done and home we go! Ekk!
1pm – They are home!!! So yeah, I’m taking them on a guided of the house and introducing them to the dogs!
2pm – Ok I’m going to level with you Frenchie, being sat on the bed, feeding the girls and just looking after my tiny little humans is just the most amazing feeling ever and I feel like it’s just what I was meant to do.
2.30pm – Babies are sleeping and I’m meant to be napping , but I’m sat watching them!
4pm – Ok so I was tired, but waking and the babies not being there freaked me out! Come downstairs to find you dancing round the kitchen with them , while cooking dinner , fucking priceless 
5pm – Girls are all home from work , I get to cook with you and the girls are getting cuddles from everyone. Babe has even asked to give them their feed 
6pm – cripes I think we may have made too much food!
6.15pm – aww you knew Steve was coming, round, didn’t you?!?!
7.30pm – aww Steve looks big and burley most of the time, cuddled up with the girls he looks all little and cute!
9pm – feeding times, nappy change and down for the night. Now time for a shower, snacks and meds and bedtime!
11.20pm – umm why is little bear cuddling Evie and holding a hole conversation with her?
2am – So this will no doubt get old, but first ever night feed! For some reason Bella, mad eye and spidie seem to think I need their help!
Wednesday 18th October 2017: 6am- Early morning feeds done, breakfast and meds and neb done! I’m dressed and ready for the day!
8am – Girls bathed, dressed and down for a morning nap! Now it is time for house work and time for you to go do some work buster! *Bossy Dommy wife stare*
11.15 – Bedroom blitzed, sheets changed, dirty sheets washed and hung out. upstairs vacuumed, dusted and wood work cleaned. Bottle serialised and made up. Silly as this will sound but I recklessly happy to be able to clean my house again!
11.30 – Feeding, burping and bums done!
12.15 – ummm your making linguini Alfaro for lunch, what do you want?!
12.40pm- Dear god that was lush! Can we have cuddles and read on the sofa!
1.20pm pm – Well if you will read me filth, you will get blow jobs!
1.30pm – Your taking the girls to work with you?!?! that is so cute! But thank for this, means I can sit down and do the course content and finish that article. X
3pm- So taking the girls to work is code for having a chat and a cuddle with them does it!
3.15pm – Dinner is on, pudding is made and I’m now going to take my nap!
4.20pm – can I have my babies back now please? They need feeding and I need cuddles!!!
5.30pm – why does everyone arrive home at the same time? But it is bliss having you all home! Kitten and Little bear look like nutters dancing with babies, but hay I don’t judge. Thank you for kicking back and having a beer with babe, I know she loves teaching but something has gotten her worked up and I worry she is bottling stuff up!
6.50pm -That was good food! Time to put the girls down and then get ready for bake off!
7.30pm – I cannot tell you how nice it is to be able to have a bath on my own with the door shut and not have to worry that I’m going to get stuck in the bath!
8pm – Bake off! Can I get a pocket-sized Noël fielding please?
10.20pm – I was checking for light leaks not sleeping: P. but yes, I will do the girls and go to bed!
11pm – Bed time story, lights out and cuddles, thank you x
2am – night feed done and bum clean! Again, the dogs seem to think the girls need a guard of houner or something!
Thursday 19th October 2017: 5am – I think Connie takes after me for her love of early mornings, food, and cuddles while the sun comes up! Evie is like you and grumpy if I wake her up early, but like me for fulling asleep half way through things!
6am – breakfast with the girls! Have not done this in weeks and it is sooooo good! It is made all that much better that are numbers have go to 6 now!
7am- Time to get me and the girls ready for the day, as Aunty May will be here at 8.30. Little bear is very excited about a day of clean and tiding!
8.20am- can you please stop copping a feel of my boobies please! Girl bath and down for a nap, Dressed and meds and neb done. Tea made and wish me luck!
8.45am – tea drunk and let the house cleaning begin!
11.30 – Holy crap almighty! I had forgotten what it feels like to clean with aunty may watching! Upside is that I fed the girls and she took over burping and bums!
12.15pm – Family lunch. Blimey we get through a lot of bread with soup 
2pm – ok I admit it I love watching the girls sleep and I need my afternoon nap still!
4pm – Got to love when May cooks dinner! I get to play with the girls and the dogs. #spoiltmadam
5pm – your all home early! So, what do we do, play Cluedo, we are that rock and roll!
6pm – I put it to you that home cooked food is better than 90% of stuff you can but while out!
6.45pm – Babies and I are going to take a shower and put are jamies on, cos we can!
7.10pm – girls down! Thank you for taking may home. now let’s do this games night thing then!
9.15pm – You are such a sore loser! We beat you fair and square, just cos I chose to make out with kitten does not mean we cheated: P
10pm – fed, burping and bums done. Kitten and I are turning in for the night, I’m cream crackered!
11pm – story, cuddles and lights out!
2.30am – Love you so much for doing night feed! X x
Friday 20th October 2017: 5.45am – So that was the best night sleep in ages! Thank you so much for making me stay in bed! Girls are super hungry today. Thought I was going to lose a nipple!
6.30am – yup I love figs and honey and will give blow jibs for them! Hell, I would beg for them, hell how am I kidding I beg for anything if your involved!
8.30am – Up dressed, breakfast, meds and neb done. Babies bathed, dress and awake! Why am I so nerves about the midwife coming??
9am – midwife is on time, so that is a first! Girls are doing fine. Connie is dead on 5lbs and little miss Evelyn is up 4lb 9, so super proud of my girls! I’m healing up well, but got a lecture about pushing myself to hard 
9.45am – So I am going to attempt to walk to the shop and back with the girls!
10.20am – Ok so not doing as well as I thought, close to a panic attack  I am going to take a bit of time and have a rest. Tired now!
11am- Fed, burped and clean bums! Must get Babe chocolate for her feeding chart!
12.15pm – Ok I could very much get used to having you popping in for lunch! Oh, and getting me tacos!!!
1.15pm – Yup you get afternoon blow jobs if you are working from home! 😉
3pm- feeding, burping bum cleaning done! Now having a nap, again!
5pm – oh bless Babe waking me up with a kiss on the nose!
5.30pm – I love Babe’s idea of cooking dinner, Fish, and Chips!
7pm- ok now I’m so shocked, I never thought the girls would fight over changing a poopy nappy!
9pm- Hehehe, we beat you at monopoly again!
9.50pm – I swear Connie just cries so she gets cuddled!
10.30pm – bottle, burps and bums done! And so, to bed. x
1.15am – Boobie, burps and bums done!
Saturday 21st October 2017: 7.30am- who…. What…. Where…. . Thank you for letting me sleep in and doing the whole of the morning thing, love you froggie x x x . Also, just so you know the girls love their daddy very much too!
8am – I’m up, dressed, eating breakfast, and doing my meds and neb. Kitten is making me go in to town with the babies and her, cos I need to get out the house and not let my anxiety level build up too much. Terrified, but going to do it. *determined look*
9am – Ok so bag packed, girls tucked up warm, comfortable shoe on, anxiety meds taken and off we go.
11am- I did it! So proud of me and Kitten knows best! On a flipside, I think people must think me and kitten are a couple, cos we keep hugging and kissing. I love that.
11.15 – First time breast feeding in public. No dirty looks or fuss. No need for an apron or fancy get up just used the scarf you got me. thank you, hang up got over!
1pm – Ok we are getting the bus home!
1.25pm – Did it, I’m doing well today!
2pm – late lunch, again thank you!
3pm – off to the super market, please let the girls be ok!
5 pm – oh lord, now I remember why I hate the feck super market on Saturday!
6pm- thank you for asking Steve to dinner I was really worried about him.
7.30pm – I have missed curry night! Girls are tucked up.
10.35 – last feed and now to bed!
12am – I can’t sleep 
2am- getting up cos I really can’t sleep.
2.15am – Hell, what the flip is with the dogs?!?! Mad eye has now decided that I can’t hear the girls crying and must come get me when they do! It’s very off putting to be woofed at by the sheath dog!
Sunday 22nd of October 2017: 6am – so yes, no sleep, feel like crap, need food and strong tea. Thank you for doing the girls morning feed and bath, it is going to take a lot to get this pixie ready for mass!
7.30am – You didn’t have to make me breakfast, get me in the shower or pick my cloths out. But thank you, it is such a help! I’m now going to power nap till a little before 10, like you said to!
9.50am – Smooches to babe for sorting me out. Tea, makeup, and hair done!
10.30am – Well here goes mass with two tiny babies!
12pm- Oh my god Father Michael is epic! Cuddling Evie, the whole first half was wicked!
1pm – pub lunch!
3pm – Home and power nap time! Zzzzzzzzzz
5pm – Why the feck do I have 17 potential client emails and one from &($%! Asking me to host and run 3 courses in December? I’m on maternity leave!
6pm – Beans on toast for tea, thank you! I could not have eaten proper grown up food.
7.30pm – Bath time.
8.30pm – So yeah, I now fall asleep in the bath. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
10pm feed done, bums done, babies asleep, Little mama to bed and sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzz
3am – dear god, never has 5 hours sleep felt so good! Mad eye came and got me to sort the girls out, again! Is he after extra sweet? Or does he think the are some weird human looking puppies? Anyway boobie, burped and bums done! I am now going back to sleep!

So that was last week and my first week of motherhood done and dusted! how was all of your weeks?

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x