Dah da dah!

Good evening kinksters and nilias of the world!

So I have been a little bit on the poorly side again and had a blip on the depression front, but it is getting better! I was a really good girl and asked for help. the Boss Man and girls have been ace. i got give loads of help and the Boss Man has added in loads of stuff to support me! one of the things is a Blog challenge , as I did the 30 days of D/s and that helped massively with mood and structure in my everyday life! So he found 20 challenges, and ask Kitten to pick 5 and then asked girls to pick 1. Well then I ended up in hospital and Kitten and the girls had no idea which one to choose, so they asked Sir beasty to pick one. He was super cool and picked one for me! (fluffy breadie one is good!) So I will be staring that tomorrow! The boss man has also set me the task of writing a 2000 word story with in a month and I am starting that tomorrow as well!

This is my 30 day challenge …..

blog challenge!

I’m also going to make a super big effort to upload my Diary every Monday . I will also be finding a willing victims to do question times with the girls, cos we love doing it and also love asking questions and getting to know people! We are also thinking of doing a Sub problem page / agony aunt thing! So if you have a question , problem or want to be a victim hit us at pixieheartblog@hotmail.com .

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Question time with maîtriser

So its been ages , right?!? again my health kind of got in the way, with low moods , Hospital and sofa days, but I’m now (touch wood) fixed up for a bit! So I have sat myself down with laptop and have started on all the Blog post I had planned, top of that list was Question time with maîtriser, So here it is!

1. Describe your kink self in 10 words? And the vanilla you in 10 words?! (Mouse) My kink self would be: Dominate, sadistic, passion, strong minded, care giver, protector, lover, friend. My vanilla self: Hard working, dead acted, fighter, strong willed, stubborn, fair, lover and friend. How did I know you would want words mouse?!
2. Top 5 kinks and why you like them? (kitten) 1) D/s. It seems to be something that sits well with my personality and speaks to my soul. 2) Sadism. I enjoy inflicting pain on willing partners. Mouse and Kitten talk of the high they get from feeling pain, well I get the same high from dishing it out! 3) Voyeurism. I’m an extremely visual person and watching people fucking, has been a kink for as long as can remember. So, having you 4 shows off minxes in my life is a blessing. 4) Bondage. I love the look off and the act of tying down a willing partner. It one of the ultimate forms of power exchange. 5)Fucking Outside or in risky places. Again, it’s a power exchange for me and, I get a high from the fact I could get court.
3. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength? (Little Bear). I used to see crying as a weakness. But over the last few years I have switch my view around. I believe that this is down to little mouse. When she was in hospital after trying to hurt herself, she tried so hard to keep her feelings inside, but when she let go and cried, it took my breath away at how much strength it took. It was a relies that she needed, but at the same time she had to be almost vulnerable. Now I know when one of my girls need to cry and get the relief they need. Ha-ha, I even have the odd tear or two myself. (my wedding day, finding out mouse was pregnant and telling my mother she was going to be a grandmother)
4. Who or what is your nemesis? Carbs, red meat, and cheese! HAHA mouse has me on a daddy to be eating plan! Pretty eyes, shy smiles and good manner have also been my undoing many, many times as well! That is why I have you 4 in my life! (Babe)
5. Describe all of us in 5 words (for each of us) Babe, Beautiful, talented, Sexy, switch and friend. Kitten, Sweet, funny farce stunning and loyal. Little Bear, Little, cute funny silly and brat. Mouse, Shy, funny, brave, beautiful, my hero and home. (all)
6. Who inspires you the most and why? My mother. She has bought me up on my own. She is amazingly clever , worked unbelievable hard and pushed me to become the best me I could be. She is a professor , but never makes people feel bennet her. But above all she is my mother. I would say all you ladies inspire me a little too! On a work level, it would the likes of Babyface, Glenn Frey, Don Henley and Lemmy. For their song writing, music playing and producing skills! (Babe)
7. Where do you stand on punishment? Punishment needs to fit the crime! It should sting, make an impact, and leave a mark. IT should be done as soon after the break of a rule , never held over a sub and should always include aftercare. (Kitten)
8. What is the most sensible thing you have ever heard someone say? You ask that little one! No , it would be my Nona telling me ‘Do what makes you truly happy, love with your whole heart and trust your gut. She is a very wise old bird!(Little Bear)
9. What 5 events have had the biggest impact on who you are today? My first day at School, the day I lost my virginity, the day I parted with my first sub, my wedding day, and the day I found out I was going to be a father. (Mouse)
10. What is the most embarrassing, funny, and hottest sex you have ever had?!m (All) HAHA! Hottest was bending mouse over trunk of my car, spreading her legs and fucking her for everyone to see. That was a good punishment. Embarrassing, the whole piggy blow job, burst blood vessel and hospital run. Funny, well that is when Babe was drunk and started trying to Make me act as her sub! Everything she tried to get me to do I came back 10 times harder, and she woke up still tied to the kitchen table!
Other silly questions – Can we get a new puppy? Or a Unicorn? Can we be Disney princess for Halloween? Where is the key to the toybox? Why are we not allowed to have pop tarts for tea??
No, No, Yes, Babe has it and If I let Mouse or my little bear have that much sugar the world would end!

Hope you enjoyed it!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Team Pixie needs you!

A few weeks ago the Boss Man gave ask the task of asking the big wide world of kinkster for questions, for us girls to answer. Well the girls and I got to thinking ( I know). We want to do a question time thing, but this time for the Boss Man and then for are lovely Sir Beasty! (more about him later) . We also thought it might be fun to do a question time with fellow Kinksters out there!

So this is where we need you! First up we need questions for the Boss Man and Sir Beasty, cos if it was just ask question that are in our heads, well what fun would that be! Then We are looking for willing victims, who fancy a good grilling from me and the girls! So if you have a question or want to volunteer drop us a line at pixieheartblog@hotmail.com . We will pay you in virtual hugs and kisses!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Ps – I’m now on Facebook, come find me! Pixie’s Facebook

Second , first kiss…

As a young girl, I had seen first kisses in the black and white films I would sit a watch with my nana on a rainy Saturday afternoon. The would always be the beautiful woman, with her handsome beau, who swept her in to his waiting arms and soundly kissed, and then held her to his chest and rested his check against hers. The was always music with sweep strings and a gentle wood wind section, that would build with the passion of the kiss. That’s what I thought my first kiss was going to be like, 1940’s frock and hair, handsome older guy and passion.
So, when I finally got my first kiss with a boy at the tender age of 14, well I was in for a very rude awaking! It was so far from what I got. He was older than me by all of 2 months. He was spotty, with overly gelled hair and stunk of lynx deodorant. It was on a cold November lunch time, behind the school kitchen. The was no sweeping music as he grabbed my face, stuck his tongue in my mouth and tried to stick his hand inside my shirt. The thing that really put me off was him sticking his tongue so far down my throat that I gagged on it. After that I kind of gave up on the whole idea of kissing boys and anyhow 5 weeks after ‘the kiss’ I got kicked out of that school and sent to a PRU (I had been kicked out of 3 schools already).
‘My second ever proper kiss could not have been more different from the first. For starters, it was with a girl. See from a real young age I have known that I was attracted to both boys and girls. I also knew that I liked girlie girl, boobs, bums and curves. Long hair, dresses, and lipstick. The wonderful girl I shared my second, first kiss with was almost perfect, she had long blond hair and this whole Jo Whiley post grange look going on. She had curves and boobs, but also a quiet conference that I now know that I love in a partner. It happened in the garden of a friend’s house, after a long day of sunbathing and after a few drinks. We were sat talking and suddenly, she leant over and just kissed me, barely touching her lips to mine. I pulled back in shock and she backed off straight away and started to apologise for miss reading thing. I did know more than lean in to her, shush her and kiss her again this time harder, but still with a soft touch and lightness that had been missing in my first kiss. After a few seconds, I felt her tongue brush against lower lip and I opened my mouth to let the kiss deepen. I got lost in those long minutes of gentle passion and soft creases. But when I felt her finger touch the underside of my breast, I ember pulling back, letting out a whimper and her asking if it was ok. Was it ok?! Hell yes! We moved closer together and carried on kissing and groping over clothes for what seemed like hours, but then we heard footsteps and we sprang apart. It wasn’t the last kiss we shared and she was the first women I made love to, it did not last long a few weeks if that. She went off to uni and I had exams and life to deal with. But I will always ember my second first kiss, with a fondness, a blush, and a tighting in my tummy.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Sub space and the drop after it!

So up today on Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s is , well i have in fact decided , well asked the boss man if it is ok to, cover 2 topics in one blog post! i know im a  little rebel right?!?! Its more the fact that Sunday i had major good news (more on that some other time) and i got the day off of being an adult yesterday! So i kind of got behind , well in my own little head and got panicky and anxtiy, so maîtriser said it was ok if we did these two topics together, cos he is lovely, fluffy and loves me! So me and the girls sat down and discussed this at breakfast this morning. (Fyi I totally had milk and cookies as part of my breakfast this morning!)

So Sub space, ahh what a place to be! I guess it’s different for all subs , for me it is not the high I get from a spanking or even from playing really hard. it’s more of a space I go in to when I get used to serve maîtriser or made to do stuff that shows how deeply submissive I can be. It’s also , for the high I get when maîtriser will just do stuff , without asking me first, like sex outside or pushing to my knees and making me go down on him. ( ok should say I have a very huge love of giving oral on both men and women, it is in fact something that I pride myself on! 😉 ) . For me , sub space Is my place I feel safe , loved and needed . It where I am allowed to be really happy and well just me. maîtriser said that when I get in that zone I go very docile and super subbie! (I want a cape and mask now!!!) . I do get a high off of pain , but that is not always a sexual thing . maîtriser will sometimes put me over his knee and give me a bloody good spanking, when I have had a day of really tough stuff to deal with, like dealing with my dad or if I have worked with in a rescue. it kind of relaxes me and at the end of it he wraps me up in his arms and I normally burst in to tears. I guess it is a kind of realise valve , that he has tapped in to and I’m so glad he has. I find some day-to-day stuff so hard to deal with. for a long time I had to be really strong , not break down and just keep going. It means that ,yeah I’m a bloody strong lady , but It also means that I will bottle things up and that fucked my mental health up big time! I also now have my little space too, which for is me where I go when I need to feel loved and safe . it’s where I go when I can’t deal with stuff and its kind of my way of say to maîtriser please can you deal with this for , it’s hurting me and I can’t deal with it right now. Like when my dad starts acting out or lashing out . He has illness that mean he his mental filters are sort of broken and he can be so mean and the things he says are so cruel and I get frightened he might hit me again.

The drop after Subspace?! Well yup of course I have felt that, I mean after every big high the is going to be a drop. You can’t stay high all the time , that’s not healthy. but the is an upside to coming down and that is aftercare! maîtriser is really good at this too! (sorry majorly lovey dovey right now, I think its being pregnant!) It ranges from curdles and kisses to hot milk and ginger -bread , to stories and nap, to baths and hair washes! ok I am so getting my butt kicked for this, but he is the Don of after care . Lol although Babe say’s his only got like that after I came on the scene!

Well that is me take on sub space and the drop after it! I will say sorry for being a little lovey dovey right now, I’m not normally like that , but well I guess the fact I’ve gone from unsettled and nerves all the time to being part of a poly family , married , babies on the way and very settled , is in fact what I really needed in my life!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

I’m free! (Sexual Availability)

So last night in bed we decided to discus the latest topic we got from Loving BDSM’s  30 days of D/s which was sexual availability and how I/we feel about it. I felt that bed was the safest place for this chat, seeing as the topic of ‘Orgasm Control’ led to me sort of attacking little bear in the livingroom this afternoon for an hour, .ol. Bad pixie!

So yeah, in my contract with the Frenchman ii is sated that i am always to be available for him sexually and that he is allowed to use my body however he wants for his own pleasure. This i guess is not 100% true , we have the unwritten rule that i can pout and ask for cuddles instead if i have my period. Sorry to say i just don’t feel sexy when I’m bleeding and in pain (PCOS and endro in the house!) But that doe not mean i wont drop to my knees or lend a hard when told to 😉

But for the best part , yeah I will let maîtriser do what he wants and when he wants and where he wants. It has taken a lot of trust and time for me to get that point though, I have for a lot of reasons got major issues round trust and it has taken a lot of bloody hard work with my therapy Doris , a lot of tears and a lot of courage to submit to someone again after what my ex did to me. I think the thing that has helped me the most is that in the time before are D/s and romantic relationship, maîtriser has always been a total gent and one of my best friends. Add to that the fact that over the last 2 1/2 years he has not once done something to breach the trust that i have in hm , you see its very easy to keep trusting him.

As I have said maîtriser seems to be able to pic the right time to make his move. It is a lush feeling knowing that I never really know when his going to do something. I mean at home he will come up behind me and play with my boobs and bite my neck, then spin me round , sit me on the counter and just fuck me. the are the times he comes home from work late from work and I get woken up by him grabbing my ankle and pulling me to him and making me blow his mind . The are the times that ill be putting the cloths away and I get hosted over his shoulder and thrown on the bed. I get like 30 seconds for my brain to write its self before I naked and fucking! (how do men mange to get a womans cloths off so quickly?). Some of the best times have been when we have been out and he decides I need to be reminded who is in charge. I love giving hand jobs in the cinema or theatre. The times I have been told to go to the ladies , remove my panties and give them to him when I get back. I just know his hand is going to inch up my thigh and his going to growl ‘open’. that those fingers will be diving in to my folds and with in mins I’ll be coming hard and trying not to let on! oh , one of the best times was a punishment for leaving the volume on my phone on full in the gym. (you do not ring in the gym) . We got out and he bent me over his car and just fucked me.

The is also the added bonus that my maîtriser is a very handsome guy! He is 6ft 2 , dark hair , beard , muscled and heavily tattooed . but he also has a calm and confident way that his got that women seem to love. He could have pretty much whoever he wants, but he wants me (and the girls). So yeah, I always free for his needs and wants, but he is the same for me, and that means so much to me!

Hugs ,

Pixie

Orgasm Control

So todays , well yesterdays topic of discussion on Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s orgasm control. Now before I ramble about this to you let me paint a little picture for you,  we walked in to a little Mom & pop diner in NJ yesterday myself and the girls. Now we don’t have ‘Kinky fucker ‘ tattooed to are heads , but we don’t look like locals either! Think a kinky version of the Adam’s family. We sit down and ordered are drinks, but said we were waiting to order food till the last member of are party . Then we start to discuss Orgasm control, which we did quietly , well for us! but the funny looks, turned to opened mouthed stares when my fluffy , white-haired, 82-year-old Great Aunty May walks in , sits down and Says ‘So were talking about orgasms today then!’ I a rather load voice. (i honestly don’t think any of my family know the meaning of ‘hushed tones’). Thankfully , the diners owner was rather open-minded and when we explained what was going on and what we are , he gave us a free drink for being refreshing different and open.

So back to orgasm control , well yeah as with every thing we have are own take on it . The Boss man uses it as a form of punishment some times. He is very good at throwing you down on the bed, getting your hands tied to the bedstead and then goes down on you , but will bring you to the edge over and over, and when he is finally ready to let you come , well dear god does he know how to make you ‘Feel’ it ! Hmmm, see i have read that some people think if a Dom dives oral , it makes them less of a Dom. Well that to Me/us is very much not the case. The Boss man loves going down , i mean really loves it. It as he says ‘ is his favorite way of warming a lady up’ . But the is no doubt when his head is between my legs who is in charge. oh god the was the time that he got me in the car park , pushed me down and just went to work on me. (ok pixie keep your mind and hands on the keyboard missy)

He has also taken it on himself to school us girls in how to hold off from coming . For me it is kind of like finding a place in my head , where i can feel what is going on , but I’m slightly detached. I know now that my point of no return , comes just after when i feel the tighting in the pit of my tummy and when my thighs start to shack a little. i can also now use the same deep breathing that i have learnt to ward of a panic attack , to calm myself down and hold off coming. FYI – personally i find when anxious and at home, reading a favorite story or watching a favourite piece of porn and having a wank , is the single best way to calm myself down. Hell i come and full asleep in minuets. but then i think I’m pretty good at knowing how to pull back when i feel him about to blow. It’s at this point i feel i should share i LOVE giving oral on both men and women. I would even say i pride myself in my oral skills! (Big head i know)

One of the goals that the boss and i set for me in this last 3 months was to work on coming on command, again it’s come with me giving him more control over me. i think i have finally started to trust people again and feeling much more comfy in my own skin. But this has been really fucking hard to do, but we had fun working on it . Then i found out i was pregnant and things went out the window! It turns out the Boss man has gone really protective and is very proud of his handy work. my sex life has gone from hot to of the fucking chart! i mean not just wanting to fuck , make him and the girls come and masturbate. but i seem to sneeze and I’m horny. everything seems more sensitive and full on. Hell kitten decided to play with my boobs and nipples i was dripping and when babe got me on my hands an knees and went at me with a strap on, well all I’m saying was i screamed and we had to change the sheet!

Well that is my ramblings about ‘Orgasm control’. Lol i seem to of lost any control over myself , a  little just walked in and i seem to feel the need to make her scream a little….

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x