His voice. 

I hate working away from home. The 12-hour days spent setting up the class room, the question that I have had to answer a 1000 time before, then the packing away, only to come back and start all over in the morning. The worst part is the drive to the budget chain hotel, to my bland, generic room and a long evening of tv and myself deal with. But tonight is going a little better than most nights, as I have my darling kitten with me, we have permission to play and we have a call from maîtriser to look forward too!
We are under orders to be fed, bathed and in pj’s by the time he calls at 8 pm. So that’s how we come to be perched on the end of the bed, with Kittens phone between us, counting down the seconds till he rings weirdly it’s his voice I miss the most, after the way he feels when I cuddle him. It has the ability to make my do as I’m told one minute, to make me smile the next and wet and horny the next. It can calm, arouses and command all at the same time. His thick French accent, with a hint of Italian and your occasional slip of the tongue that tells of your time spent living in the west country.
Lost in a slight day dream I nearly jump out of my skin when kittens phone starts to blare out his ring tone of ‘all my friends’ By Dermot Kennedy starts to play. I think kitten must have been thinking the same as me, as her sacking hand reaches for the phone and she slide the lock screen and hits the answer button and then speaker. ‘Hello’ she says in a small voice that is very much her being shy and nervous.
Then comes his voice in a thick droll and steady as always, ‘Hello kitten, hello mouse, how are both my little ones? Have you been behaving? Have you been good girls for me?’ It’s with these word that I’m lost, I breath out a sigh I did not know I had been holding in. My shoulder hunch as I relax, letting all the stress of the day go and let the feeling of being safe and love, wash over me. God how I have missed him.
Kitten and I turn to face each other with the phone between us. sitting crossed legged on the bed, tucking feet underneath. We chatter away about what we have been doing and how are days have been. Having turned to face Kitten I feel a little distracted, but then I always do when it comes to Kitten. She is so damn beautiful it takes my breath away. Shifting a little, my knee bumps hers, I look up at her big brown eyes and blush. ‘So how did your course go little mouse?’ I hear coming from the phone, but It barely registers in my fuddled little brain.
‘hmmmm. Yes, what was that’. which is met with a shocked look on kitten’s face and stony silence from the other end of the line. Then clearing of his throat and ‘Mouse what did I just ask you?’. I panic and try I recall what he said, but I just can’t. I know not to umm or ahhh about thing or try to stall when asked something. So, I chose to fess up.
‘I don’t know, I was too busy looking at Kitten and thinking about doing stuff to her’. Blushing like flip and looking down at my lap. Again, I hear him clearing his throat and then a chuckles ‘what a sort of things mouse? Were they naughty things? Have they made you wet little one? Kitten be a good girl and check for me.’
She is up on her knees and moving towards in an instant. She pushes me back on the bed, her hand pulling my panties to the side, slipping inside, and plunging in to me. slowly running her cold finger up and down, then circling my clit. As quickly as she started her check, she abruptly removes finger, and brings it up to her mouth. ‘she is wet maîtriser, she smells yummy. please can I taste her maîtriser?’
‘As you asked so nicely, yes you may Kitten, but listen to me, I want to hear you make her moan and whipper, and then when I tell you Ruin her for me kitten. Do you understand? ‘ . I move myself up the bed, pulling me t-shirt off and hooking my thumbs in the waist band of my panties, dragging them down over my hips. Kitten is on her knees and curling up the bed towards me, the look in her eyes makes me whipper. I hear maîtriser chuckle and the sound of a zip being pulled down. Oh, dear god now I know what he’s doing at the other end of the line. I have blinding vision of him stroking his cock.
Next thing I know kitten is between my legs, having pulled my panties all the way off and tossing them on the floor. Maîtriser tells her to go slow, teasing, and gentle. His gentle tone is telling me to play with my nipple rings, to lose myself in the feeling and that I can stroke my kitten if I want. My eyes close and I just feel. her fingers, her tongue and the sound of maîtriser voice, its start to become a growl. His close, I can picture his hand moving faster and feel his grip become firmer.
Kitten has reached my clit and is lapping at it like her namesake. then I hear the words ‘Now kitten, make her come now!’ That’s when she sucks my clit between her teeth, biting lightly and pushing her tongue flat against my clit. I can’t keep it in any longer, I come undone, scream out her name and then all feel is bliss. I hear grunts coming and the throaty growl.
When I come down of the celling, when my breathing calms, I looked down and see kitten kneeled between my legs, a happy smile on her lips, then her tongue licks the moisture from her lips. A muffled noise breaks the silence. We sit up looking for kitten’s phone, that has become tangled up in the sheets and pillows.
‘that’s my good kitten, well done little one’ comes the voice on the other end. ‘Good girl mouse, you sound so beautiful when you come’ Smiling from ear to ear I roll on to my tummy and kiss kitten. I can taste myself on her lips. Then I hear ‘now mouse I want you to return the favour to kitten, and then I want you to turn the lights out and go to sleep, do you understand’
‘Yes maîtriser, we do.’ We say in unison. A reply of ‘good girls, Good night my sweet little ones’
‘Good night maîtriser, we love you’ we say. Then we hang up and I turn to kitten and promptly return the favour.

Wicked Wednesday

The Diary of Pixie heart- 18/09/17 – 24/09/17

As instructed to, I’m sharing last weeks diary for everyone to have a giggle at! enjoy!

Diary: mouse

Monday 18th September 2017: 5.45am – So I am all wiggly and I can’t sleep, so I’m getting up! I will be eating toast and drinking tea on the sofa if you need me!
7.30am – I feel asleep again! Thank you for waking me up by shoving your cock in my face, no really, I love it when you do that!
8am – breakfast done, dentist phoned for Little bear, dishwasher done and now to sit down for a bit!
9.30am – I love the food network, but what the flip is going on with pioneer woman??? Like do her family only eat breakfast and cake?
10am – Dentist time with little bear. I can’t get her into clothes so she is wearing her sloth onesie and unicorn slippers, sorry I did try!
11am – My poorly girl has an abuse on the roof of her mouth! Ouchy! So, I have her antibiotics, soft food, and some nice juice. I will now tuck her up on the sofa and keep her safe!!
12.30pm – Little bear has decided that she ‘NEEDS’ butterscotch wipe and 3 bananas for lunch, so yes…. lol.
1.30pm – Thank you for are lunch time call and thank you for telling little bear she was being brave!
2pm – I’m doing writing! About spankings!!!
2.45pm – Afternoon nap time, I am a tired little pixie!
4.30pm – Blimey I was tired! Little bear seems to of perked up a little, antibiotics are amazing things!
5pm – Babe has come home and said she will cook. What did I do to deserve that as a treat!
6pm – Veggie fingers, chip and peas and sweetcorn. With sponge and chocolate custard for afters!
7pm – Thank you for helping me to have a bath, it is so hard to get in and out of the bath tub on my own and I’m fed-up of having bloody showers!
8.45pm – Family time on the sofa is great, but I’m horny, can I play with kitten please!?
10pm – THANK Your x x x x x x. I love playing with kitten’s nipples and pussy!
11pm – bed time story of pen of the damned, good move! Night sexy bum!
11.15pm – lights out and cuddles! X
Tuesday 19th September 2017: 7.15am – Blimey Riley! Tired little pixie again! That is the second night I slept right through. Little bear is still sleeping, bless the little thing. Got to get up, date with Uncle Fred!
8.30am – yes, I do still have to be up, dressed and making you breakfast before you get down in the morning. Yes, I must make your lunch, yes, I need to make sure you tie is straight and give you a kiss good bye. It is my job as your wife! And yes, I’m trying to pout, so don’t give the eyebrow!
9am – Little bear has just told me to sit down and drink my milk: o the family little is Doming me now!
10.15am – when the babies get here and I’m all held up, I am spending a whole week cleaning! Little bear did a good job and I’m trying to not micro mange her or go ‘you missed a spot. But me being me, I’m finding it hard!
11am- I no longer fit behind the steering wheel of my car! Thankfully Uncle Fred said he was happy to drive, I’m not sure I could cope with the bus or bear’s driving!
11.30am- Feeding the dunks is the best feeling ever! I get to be a kid for a bit and I feel free. Just don’t want to be an adult anymore!
12.15 – Squeak! Happy meal, milkshake and a Mcflurry! Spoilt!!!
1pm – Ok so I now officially heave everything I could need for the babies! And yes I got breast feeding stuff too!
2pm- Home to find 6 huge boxes from amazon. Seems everyone I work with has bought something of a baby Wishlist that Steve set up. My god this is awesome, don’t think I’ll ever need to buy nappies or whips ever! They even got the dogs new Kong toys and t-shirts!
2.45pm – Afternoon nap!
5pm – Welcome home kiss to wake me up! You old smoothie! And yes, I do still like you copping a feel while having a smooch on the sofa!
6pm – take out for dinner, cos I’m too tired to cook! Thank you, x,
7pm- Am I not allowed to take a shower on my own?! Thank you, nice to be hair free again and thank you for checking that my bits still work! 😉
7.45pm – Monopoly marathon, Bring it on Frenchie!
9.30pm – Little bear is blatantly cheating!
10.15 – Thank you for coming to bed with me, I’m a pooped pixie!
11pm – Ok I love this book! Oh, and I love you to Frenchie x x x

Wednesday 21st September 2017: 6.30am – Errrr! Its morning then? I’m sore and full of ouches! Can you come back to bed please?
7am- Can’t we just stay in bed?! But thank you for the cup of tea, bowl of bran flakes, pain killers and cooking mags, I’ll be ok in a min!
7.20am- Better and happy again!
7.45 – Yup did breakfast again!
8.30pm – Don’t you dare be late home tonight! Love you froggie!
9.30am – day time television sucks big time! Why would anyone want to stay home and watch television when this is the crap on it?
11.20am – So it now turns out that I need to take a mid-morning nap as well as an afternoon nap!
12.30pm – So I have just eaten for Britain! Good lord I have no idea how that fitted inside me!
1.30pm – Homes under the hammer is kind of cool!
2.30 – tired again, napping about to condense in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…….
4pm – Woken up by a dog vomiting and being the size of a baby elephant do not go well together! Spidie was being a flipping drama queen and mad eye tried to clear her sick up by eating it!
6pm – Dinner time and little bear cooked an amazing pasta, that had the right amount of chillie in it!
6.45pm – No I am not watching extenders , no you cannot make me do it!
7pm – really fed up now! Can’t get comfortable and I’m fixity 
8.15pm – Was not sassing you that much and kitten is made to be tickled! P but kind of happy to be sent to bed, I get little bear cuddles!
9.15pm – Yummy, you can take your belt to me like that any day! can we do more impact play after the babies get here? Well more play all round?!?!
11pm – Hehehe. Watching babe, kitten and little bear playing, with you sat behind me and your hands on my boobies was wonderful!!
12pm- are you going for husband of the year?! French toast with ricotta and figs!

Thursday 21st September 2017: 6am – Up early, got to get little bear to the dentist. If she gets just her crown put back in I will be proud of her!
7.30am- so dressed, in the car and on the way to the hospital It is too early and I already need to pee! Uncle Fred is a super star for driving us! (Must by him bear!)
8.30am- Well hear and they have given her a sedative. Crossing everything I have that she will be ok, cos I can’t go in with her 
9.45am – Well she’s out! My brave girl not only let them put her crown back in, put they have the 2 impacted wisdom teeth out and they filled the holes in her canines! She is rather stoned, so it’s straight home to bed with her!
11am- I have tucked little bear up on the sofa with her teddy bear and blanky! She had 2 glasses of water and one of milk, plus some painkillers. She was out like a light! I’m going to wash all the baby clothes now and make sure they are all ready. I know it’s silly but that is something I can do and not really get shattered!
12pm- Aunty May has just turned up with food and told me to ‘go sit down like a good girl’. Not that I mind her turning up with food or her fussing, but I can do light house work! could speak to her and ask her back off a little?! I love her to death, but sometimes I need a little breathing space.
1.30pm – little bear is awake and in pain  can’t let her have pain killers for an hour and a half, so I have sat her in the kitchen with me and aunty may. I hate seeing her hurting, tears me up inside 
2.30pm – sod it! Have given her some painkillers a little early and we are now camping on the sofa, with warm milk and chocolate whip. Going hopefully nap. Aunty may has decided she will cook tea and do the ironing, feel bad but she said little bear needed looking after more than the ironing needed doing, and she is right, as always!
4.30pm – ok so I did need a nap and little bear seems to be doing better. She wants mashed potato with cheese, baked beans, and green beans for her tea, so that is what may be cooking her!
5.45pm – I have sat down and got my taxes done! Yes, I know I have not exactly worked over the last 2 months, but their all nice and neatly done! Yes, I know only I get a kick out of having neat and tidy tax files, but hay bite me!
6pm – Nice touch Frenchie bring aunty may flowers! She really does cook like a posh version of my nana!
7pm- thank you for driving May home sweetie! I’m going to get little bear ready for bed and then going to take a shower with kitten. Hope you have a great time playing pool with babe! Love your x x x x
9pm- I swear these babies are sadist like their father, that or they are into water sports!
11.45pm – Ummm so yeah, I think you may have had a little bit too much to drink handsome! But thank you for the kfc kid’s meal! Little bear is happily scoffing popcorn chicken and yoghurt. Did you just buy it so she had a treat?!? I love you pookie! X x x x
Friday 22nd of September 2017: 7.15 am – Someone has a sore head this morning! Bacon sandwich and strong coffee in bed for you sir! and I can do that cos I want to and looking after you is my job! Then get that butt in the shower and dressed, cos it is family weekend time as of 5 pm!
8.30am- So yeah, I wanted you to stay home but …… Ok house cleaning time as best I can!
10.30am – Clean! It really is amazing what the 4 of us girls can get done if we all work together! I am now off to do food shopping with babe driving! If you get a call from the hospital saying I’m in labour, my nerves could not take it!
12pm – Ok food shopping done and put away! We are a dream team! Wow, can we get team boobies t-shirts?!?
12.30 – Now uncle Fred is well at it! Although he still lets me do stuff, are garden shelves are looking dope! He has made a massive loaf of soda bread, pot of soup and cherry pie! I get sad when he makes cherry pie as it was aunty Doreen’s fav, god I miss her!
2pm – Stuffed and tired, but my brain is saying ‘no don’t nap do the kitchen cupboards’. as a compromise, I am watching a Disney film with little bear on the sofa! Lol also why does are dog walker think it is funny that my dogs come back when called?
5pm – Umm yes, I did full asleep!
5.30pm – What is with you today? Text saying get bathed and in my pj’s and don’t worry about dinner, and that’s it!!! What the fuck!!!
6.15pm – Curry, ice cream and ginger bear! Ok I love you, did I say that before, right? Also, avengers and dry strange, you are the best person like ever!
11pm I stayed awake for the whole thing this time! Now teeth and bed!
11.10pm – We even get are bed time story!
Saturday 23rd September 2017: 6am- Errrr! Ok antibiotics are kicking my butt today! I feel sick, have the shakes and an upset tummy. Can I stay home?
7am – thank you so much for getting with babe and taking the hounds out so I can sleep!
9am – yup I’m dying! I have forced down some toast, my meds and Diet coke. Thank god for polos and Imodium!
9.45 – Ok I have to go shopping cos I need to buy stuff but all I want to do is sleep!
10.30am – ok so I now have a banging head ache and feel dizzy. Thank god for my kitty cat coming with me!
11.15pm – So kitten has an apple and blackcurrant and chips from kick. She has put salt on them and got me ketchup for them! I took pain killers and I now feel a little bit better!
12pm – ok I so manged to get the bus home!
12.30 – Little bear walking Bella, mad eye and boods up to the bus stop is adorable and meant so much!
1pm – squeak! Am I really allowed to put my Pj’s back on and go be little for the afternoon, really???
1.30pm – you got me unicorn colouring book and apple and mango juice!
3pm – I see you watching inside out, just come sit on the sofa silly head!
5pm – I have had the best afternoon in ages! Thank my love, I really needed that! Now I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner and grilled peaches with ice-cream for after!
6.30pm – Strictly come dancing, that is all that needs to be said!
9pm- thank for coming to bed with me, sorry I don’t want nookie and just want to snuggle!
11pm- girls are up, tucked in and bed time story read! Night handsome x
4.45am – Thank you for letting me get up and write. I have a bad case of the I can’t sleepiest!
7.15am – so I have had breakfast, taken my meds, and done my neb. I have even taken something to calm my brain the fuck down, I am now going to try a sleep for a little bit. I’m that tired I am feeling slightly irrational 
10am – Wow! I feel so much better for a nap!
10.30am – Why are we getting in the car and where the flip are we going!
11pm – Secrets! Yay!!!! Can I have fed the fish and ducks, please!?!!?
12pm- Soup, salad and bread is so the best lunch ever!
1.pm- can we get a turtle please? Or some Dalmatian mollies?
2.30pm – Why did you agree to let us go to a super market on a Sunday afternoon? I’m going to be brave but I don’t know if I can do this or the whole of the shop. If I get freaked out can I go sit in the car?
3pm – well I made it to the check out. Thank you for letting me go sit the other side of them and just chill out!
3.30pm – So I’m now cooking dinner with you, like I get to tell you what to do? Cripes that is so out of my comfort zone foggy! How about I ask you nicely to do stuff?
5pm- You will make a great chef one day! this is fun, can we do it more often?
5.45pm – NO! that is not how you carve a chicken! More of it is going in your tummy than anything else! Silly head!
6pm – Roast dinner, Boss man and mouse style!
6.30pm – Now you got little bear to wash up and do the dishwasher without moaning, what magic is this!
7pm – bath time!
7.30pm – Why do I have to go to bed? but ok!
8pm – Tots could be a spaceman you know!
9.30pm- Sleepy pixie now!
10.20- hot milk, with honey and nutmeg. Bed time story and cuddles, thank you for a fabulous weekend! Love you xx
11pm – light out!

 

so that was last week! what are all you lovely’s up to this week?

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

letter from Maîtriser.

So I have wanted to share this part of are life  for a very long time, but it is only now that Maîtriser agreed to me sharing we you all. I am a girl who loves letters, both writing , receiving and reading them. It is a way that myself, maîtriser and the girls have kept in touch over the years, before i joined the family . It is now a way that we talk to each other  when is something that we have needed to really think about. For Maîtriser it is a way to show how he feels and talk to us one on one. For Maîtriser and i it is are way of being soppy and loving , without everyone knowing! 

The is something about the written word that really moves me on a lot levels . It can calm my mind, insist my curiosity and excite me. I think it is one of the things that made me full in love with maîtriser, the way he has with words blows me away every day!

So I am sharing a letter he sent me a few months back, after I had a melt down and was being vile. I had taken on way to much work, was trying to be more than I needed to be and refusing  to ask for help. he left this by my the bed so I had it as soon as I woke up. (please bear in mind that I have translated this from French to English.)

Dearest little mouse,

Well what can I say little one you have done it again! I don’t know how one girl can get herself in to such a tizzy and that much trouble in the space of 3 days, but you some have done again! You know I have put rules in place for a reason, that I want to keep you safe and from harm, and that everything I do is done with love. It not only hurts yourself, but me as well, when continually put yourself down. You trust me and have excepted my guidance, yet you still don’t believe that you are worthy of being loved by people. Am I stupid or do you think you are beneath me? No , mouse you’re not. You’re my equal, my partner in crime and my special little one, who I adore.
You must understand that I am doing this so you see that you are worthy of being loved, so you can be all that you can and so you can stop these destructive thought and behaviour patterns. Unlike some punishments, I take no pleasure in doing this my love. This hurts me as much as it does you.
So, you know exactly what your transgressions are, I will list them, but keep in mind this not an attack, but is just me stepping in to look after my girl, ok sweetness?
• You put yourself down 17 times in 3 days.
• Your spoke with your mother, without myself or babe being with you.
• You allowed your sister to belittle you in church, by saying ‘oh she’s just a housewife’
• You refused to allow kitten to offer you comfort when she offered you a hug.
• You clean on Friday for 5 hours, instead of the 2 hours we had agreed
• You spoke in a raised and disrespectful way to your Aunt May and your friend Emit.
• You refused to eat dinner with the rest of the family on Friday and Saturday night.
• You ‘Forgot’ to ask for and take anxiety medication, when you needed it
• You went out and did not take your phone.
• You did not talk to me or babe when you were having a hard time.
• You were grumpy with little bear this morning and did not say sorry to her.
• You did not ask for help when you needed it.
It pains me to do this , but as punishment you are losing you free time for the next 2 weeks. You will be expected to let Babe or I know where you are at all times. As well I will be setting you a few goals that I want you to finish to a level that will make me happy and proud. We will be spending time as a family at home and at the open mic nights at the britaina, with the aim of getting you to relax and enjoy yourself. Billie will be coming 4 times a week for your English class instead of 2. also, you are to allow Kitten or little bear to help with your classes and admin. You are to give all 3 of the girl’s extra chores around the house. You are not to see your sisters, brother in-laws or nieces or nephews without me or to agree to Baby sit without asking me first. you are to shower with me every evening, your bedtime for the next 2 weeks is 10pm and you are not allowed out of bed in the morning 6.30 am. I want you to keep a food diary every day, do you pulse ox, peak flow and bs level 4 times a day. You will also be doing 4 training sessions with Steve, yoga every morning and swimming with me twice a week. You are to up your mindfulness exercises to 4 times a day as well. I will review this at the end of the 2 weeks.
Know that I only do this out of love little one, it is for your own good. You can’t see it, but you are suffering from trying to do too much for too many people. The is no shame in asking for help when you are struggling or for breaking down a little when things get too much. You do not need to be all things to all people. For now, I want you to take care of yourself, do as you are told and to make me proud, that is it, do you understand?
I will see you this evening little one,
All my love,
maîtriser X

Well hope you enjoyed it,

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

The Diary of Pixie Heart – 28/8/17 – 3/9/17

Diary: mouse
Monday 28th August 2017. 4am – Home from the hospital. I’m sorry for falling down the stairs and sorry I frightened you and the girls. I frightened myself and I hurt all over  thank you for letting just go to bed and have cuddles.
9.30 am – blimey I hurt! Breakfast on the sofa, with cooking television is so good!
11am – pain killers and banana bread!
1pm – Emit has decided I need ‘looking after’ and has taken me hand! Not that I doubt it, but I swear my gay, subbie male friend is getting all Dom on me! But he made me cheese sandwich and cut the crust off, so I will be good!
3pm – I went napping without being told to! More sofa time and painkillers!
4pm – I’m being allowed to help make cakes. by help little bear means sitting and being good!
5.20pm – You’re going to the fish and chip shop, on your own!
5.45pm – Chips, pea fritters and curry sauce! And pudding!!!!
6.30pm- not happy you have to work all night, but sleeping in the living room is kind of you! Been safe and I love your x x x x
7.10pm- well that is one way to have a bath! I’m cleaner and clean thing, but little bear seems to think that even my ears needed washing!
9pm- please, please, please don’t make me must go see the new IT film please!!!
11pm – last pain killers and snuggle time.

Tuesday 29th august 2017: 6am – I so needed that sleepy! Up and at them, or so I thought! Get down to find Emit and babe are in the kitchen and I’m ushered on the sofa, fed given med, do my neb, and reading my book!
8.30am – Right midwife again! Everything is ok and I’m healthy!
9.45am – I’m sat down doing blog planning stuff!
10.30am – Ok cross mouse! Poor little bear has come home almost in tears cos some stuck up cow said her top was too low for someone with breast her size. She did cry a little bit , but also said then she also stopped and said she was not going to let it upset her! Can she please have a reward sticker please?!?
12.30pm – Lunch time. Emit is forcing me to eat cheese!
1.30 – Email time! Cripes , how do I get so many stupid people not getting that I’m on maternity leave?
2pm – Nap time! I am snuggling with emit cos I can’t sleep on my own today!
4pm – Oh God No! how could I not of relished that I have a fecking training committee meeting!!!!!
5pm – Little bear is cooking dinner and it is looking good!
5.45pm – I love getting my welcome home smooch! Thank you, x,
6pm – Little bear did good! She can make pasta and sauce all on her own! So Proud of the girl!
7pm – Commtie meeting time! Wish me luck!!!
9pm – Oh dear god! Why can’t this be over already.
10pm – Ok I just used the phrase ‘as head trainer I’m saying that we are not using out of date methods and we are not going to use @” $%!” £”! as a guest trainer!’
11.15pm – Bed, cuddles, sleep! Night Frenchie! X x x x
Wednesday 30th August 2017: 7.15am – I slept late! Thank you for letting me get up and make everyone’s breakfast! Emit is off in London with people from Uni. But I have Uncle freed coming to be with me!!!
8am – YAY, I’m allowed to do house work!
9.30 – Washing done, kitchen cleaned and beds made! Uncle Fred Is here now, so I get to go buy food!
10.30am – Hell how much meat can you buy for £40 !!! better still he minced down 4 kg of chicken carcases for mad eye!
11.30am – Yay we have a full stocked kitchen now!
12pm – Oh dear god I have missed lunch with uncle Fred lunch dates!
1pm- Dinner prepped, tomorrow ready to go and rabbit rage on the stove!
2pm – Nap time!
3.30pm – Rude awakening from Mad Eye jumping on me and sitting on my face! Little shit! Might as well try and write for a bit, cos the dogs seem to want to hold an afternoon nap party in the bed!
5pm – yay I wrote for like a full hour none stop! Dinner is looking and smelling deli scouse too, I can’t wait for you all to try it!
5.30 pm – So I made namb bread to go with dinner but me and kitten are eating it now with pickles and chutney! #sorrynotsorry
6pm – Dinner is served! Lamb shank madras, with rice and side thing!
6.30pm – I have never seen the dogs so excited to be given left over bone! Ps yes, I did see you get Jordy and spidie chicken wings, you softie!
7.20pm – Closed door bath with muscle soak and a glass of cherry aide is so nice thank you!
7.45pm – Pooped pixie is off to bed to do bloggy stuff and to watch MasterChef with kitten! (I’m getting to old for
9.30pm – So all us girl have come to bed and you playing on the Xbox, god we are so rock and roll! Lol I have 7 blogs post scheduled though so kind of proud of that
10pm- I flagging big time here, so babe is doing a bed time story and we are all turning in!
2am- Fulling asleep on the sofa is not the done thing old man, can’t carry you up the stairs, but I can snuggle up with you on the sofa! Love you Frenchie! X
Thursday 31st of august: 5am – thank you for not shouting at me for coming down and snuggling with you, I can’t sleep without you now.
6.30am – oh god the luxury of doing house work this early is So nice! Dishwasher on, washing on, living room clean, oven cleaned and downstairs bathroom cleaned!
7.30am – Breakfast done and cleared away! Now scoot and get that cute French but in the shower mister! *tries to do a bossy wife stare and fails*
8.45am – I did not need a shower, I was not dirty or sweaty! But hay I needed to come so, yay for showers! Right all in the car for work!
9.30 am – that’s you all off to work and I’m early for my English lesson!
11am – I got 20/20 in my spellings, Go Mouse!
12.30pm – Lunch in a pub with aunty may and the catholic lady’s guild, what could go wrong! Keep your phone on buster, I might need you!
2pm – I feel yucky Frenchie, chesty and weary.
3.30pm – My ears are really hurting now me and I keep going dizzy 
4.15pm – Something burst up my nose, so I phoned the dr going straight down now!
5pm – Chest, ear, and sinus infections. Bad dehydration and I’ve lost weight  home iv antibiotic, pain killers and total rest 
5.10pm – got back to the car and broke apart! thank good for babe, phoned her and she did no more than left work, walked to the doctors to drive me home. having stopped to get me mango and apple juice and lentil crisps.
6pm – bathed, in pj’s and take out for dinner ordered!
6.30pm – dinner was nice, but now I want to go to bed please?
7.45pm – bed and cuddles with my kitten! Love are little family!!
9pm – My neb is not helping as much 
10.30pm – Going sleep, exhausted!
4.am – sorry I woke you all up with my coughing, neb seems to of calmed it down a little,
Friday 1st September – 7am – I’m up but exhausted, so I promise to stay on the sofa!
9am – uncle Fred has come to sit with me. I hate morning tv and I hate feeling this poorly!
12pm – feeling bad now!
1pm – dinner from Deliveroo for lunch!
3pm – all I have done today is watch tv and slept. I feel like a beached whale!
5.45pm – little bear has been posting pickoff me sleeping on twitter again!
6pm – I feel bad that kitten so having to cook dinner 
7pm – bath and dinner in bed!
9pm- It’s getting worse and it’s hurting can I go get checked at A&E???

Saturday and Sunday – I was kept in hospital as it turned out I was pretty poorly. I’m on oxygen, Iv fluids and antibiotics, with a monitor on the babies. I’m fighting very hard and getting better all the time, but it’s going to take a while 😕.

i’m laying in a hospital bed trying to be a brave little pixie , but I’m frightened , lonely and missing home. I know I’ll get to go home soon and know I’m in the best place. I know that this is something I have to do and will have to do again , but it does not get any easier! I’m just frightened, worried and just so tired!

Pixie x x X X

Blog challenge Days 9 to 21.

So I have been resting but still doing my blog challenge! here are my entries for the last few days…..

Blog Challenge Day 9 to Day 21

Day 9 – Your last kiss.
So, my technique last kiss was my lurcher Bella when I left the house this morning! Don’t judge, she gives great kisses!)
The one before that was an early morning smooch with Kitten this morning. It was on of those lazy. Stretchy kisses, that is unhurried and full of soft touches that normally leads to more, but Babe came bursting in to hustle us out of bed, cos we need to get up and ready for a very long car trip!
Day 10 – Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Alcohol – I’m fine with it in moderation, I don’t drink very much, but that’s mainly cos I’m a flipping light weight, and after 3 beers I’m on the floor giggling! I don’t like being round drunk people or people who get aggressive when drunk, as they make me feel unconfutable and unsafe.
Drugs – All for the ligate one, hell I would be lost without them. illegal ones, don’t do them, don’t like. If you are then that is fine, but please don’t do them round me, and don’t ask me to join in! Everyone I know who has done them in the long term seems to have ended up with bad mental health problems.

Day 11 – Your current relationship
Well to the outside world I’m just a happily married lass. But if you look a little closer you will see that it is a D/s life, that I share with my husband / Dom and 3 other female subs. Myself and the girls are all bi and we all play together. We would all say it is a committed, none monogamous, poly relationship, that makes us all feel happy and whole.

Day 12 – Things you want to say to your ex.
Ah the question I have been dreading more than anything. Things with me ex are still so raw and fresh, but I’m going to give it a go…
• Why did you say you loved me, then try to break me?
• Was I worth so little to you?
• Do you know how much damage you did?
• What was going through you head as you beat me over, and over?
• Why did you have to rape me over and over?
• Did you really think you could break me?
• Does it hurt knowing that I’m doing just fine without you?
• Does it know that a French man is 1000 times more of a man than you ever could be?
You nearly killed, but that was never going to happen while I have this fire, burning in my soul. With love and support I have rebuilt myself. I still have a very long way to go, but I have come so far from the shell that you left behind. But more than anything you need to know that you will never break me, never!

Day 15 – A date you would love to go on.
I would love to go to the adult dyno-snores at the natural history museum. You get an afterhours tour of the museum, a 3-course meal and then a film in the main hall. The is a roof top bar that serves cocktails, that has a great view of London. You can stay up late listening to ghost stories or find a quiet corner to snuggle down for some sleep. Then in the morning you are woken up with a full on cooked breakfast. The only way that is could be more perfect is if the was a way you could have a shag next to all the bones and fossils,

Day 14 – Something discussing that you do.
Umm , not sure that I do anything that I would count as disgusting. I do like Squeezing whiteheads , but I get told off by the Boss man for doing, as the is high risk they could then get infected and that infection could put me in hospital. I also pick at my skin till it bleeds when I am nerves. We are working on that and it is the reason my nails are always kept short!

Day 15 – The best thing to happen this week
By the far the best thing that has happened this week is the Boss man having this week off work so that he could come to my midwife appointment with me . It was just an awesome day. I got to late all cuddled up to kitten. Then had breakfast, a shower and got dressed in the Boss Man . We got there right on time for my appointment, so we got to go straight in. Everything is good , I need to take iron tablets , but apart from that , everything is going smoothly!
After my appointment we are shopping, walked along the river , fed the ducks and lunch in my faviform pub. We did grocery shopping , went home, took a nap, and then cooked dinner together. We ate when the girls got home , and then it was baths, jammies, and DVD’s on the sofa till it was time for bed, story, and cuddles.
It’s not anything big or fancy. Just a day doing normal stuff, with the people I love. But never really having had that before , it makes for a very happy me!
Day 16 – 3 things that you are proud about your personality .
1) Tough – I’ve be through some shit over the years (slight under statement?!?!). I have come close to giving up a lot of times, but I have not. I have stuck at it and fought on and carried on living. I am pretty sure that some of it has been done through being bloody stubborn , but hay I’m still here!
2) Caring – I like to think that I’m carrion , I hope I am! I like looking after people and making sure they are safe and away from harm. I will always stick up for and protect the people I love . I will always try to support my friends and family, even if I don’t agree with them.
3) None judgemental – I have fucked so many times, and I know first-hand what it feels like to have someone judge you and your feelings. I would never want to make someone feel the way it made me feel.

Day 17 – Things that scare me.
I don’t like to admit that stuff scares me, but they are quite a few things that I’m frightened of. So, I’m going to make a list of them.
• Birds
• Deep open water
• Crowds
• Drunk people
• Confined Spaces
• Driving in the rain
• Outside (I’ ok with beaches/hills/wood)
• Germs
• Dirty places (Bus stations / Public loos / near bins)
• Being sick
• Mice and rats
• Fly’s
• Maggots
• Rotting food
• Thunder storms
• Large groups of teenagers
• Drowning
• Hospitals
• Eels
• Jellyfish
• The bottom of the ocean
• Space
• Things that can’t be explained by science
Strongly I’m not frightened of death.

Day 18 – Disrespecting parents
This is kind of a touchy subject for me as things with my own parents are not good right now and I don’t see things getting any better anytime soon.
I’m off the belief that show and treat your parents with respect , but that respect should also have been shown to you too. I also think that it is very easy to lose respect for them. It does not mean that you love them any less, it just means that they are not the people that you thought they were and that you are different to them .

Day 19 – something that never fails to make you happy .
Without a doubt, it must be waling my dogs, as it makes me happy on so many levels. The fact that just picking up a lead fills the house with wagging tails and excited barks. The are days that I’m in huge amounts of pain or really low , but I take them out and it makes things less tough. I can have a good old stomp, chat to them about the crap that I have going round my head, Safe in the knowledge that I’m not being and they’re not going to tell anyone.
Add to all this that they are so happy to run around like looneys, sniffing and peeing playing with their little friends, laying in muddy puddles, and rolling in the sand . I sit there watching and thin I did that, I made them happy , and that makes me happy!

Day 20m – The last argument that you had.
Weirdly I think it was either about putting petrol in the car or pop tarts. I just don’t remember which. The last proper grown up one was with a receptionist at the doctors, about my need to see a doctor that day and being told I was not sick enough to need to see one . To which I asked what qualifications they had to trig penitents. I also pointed out that being pregnant , suffering from an immune disorder and being diabetic, I felt I did need to see a doctor . After that she found me one pretty dam quick!

Day 21 – Something you can’t seem to get over.
Depression, I have had this bastard illness most of my adult life. It comes and goes, sort of an ebb and flow thing. Sometimes I hardly notice it , it’s just the little grey patch on me sunny day. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming , me in-tier world becomes stormy and dark . But it never truly leaves me. I guess that it never really will, but what has changed is the way I handle it now. I talk about it , I reach out to people, I ask for help and I don’t try to hide it anymore. I have stopped looking at it as an infliction and treat it as an illness. People get sick with it all the time, the are so many treatments for it, from mediatisation to therapy. So, what I means is, Yes, I have depression, no I don’t think I will ever be 100% over it, but I can live with it, and I’m cool with that!

 

Hope you enjoy,

Pixie

The Behaviour Modification of Pixie Heart (AKA fixing my broken brain)

 

So a few weeks ago the epic Kayla Lords and John Brownstone’s Loving BDSM Podcast was on positive reinforcement, a subject that is very close to my heart. It is something we use every day at home, but we also use a whole host of conditioning tools, classic and operant conditioning, to Premack and Counter conditioning, with a big old dose of CBT thrown in to the mix for good measure!
I make no apologies for the fact that I suffer from extremely complex health problems, both mental and physical. I have after a lot of therapy, got to a point that I will talk openly about my mental health problems. I think I must a point that I relies that I don’t need to be ashamed by them. Some I have had all my adult life and some are because of being in a violent, abusive relationship for most of my adult life.
So, this is where I fully out my mental health problems, buckle up this might take a while. I suffer from Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), which is a disorder in which a normal worry to a normal person, to me is Debilitating. It also means that my body has a heighten reaction to stress and worry. I have very serve depression as well, that at its worst has left me house bound and struggling to get out of bed, wash or eat. coupled with this I have extreme phobias and suffer from panic and anxiety attack, that at one point I would have up to 15 a day and again left my unable leave the house. (I am agoraphobic). Then after being raped and nearly beaten to death, I started to suffer from Extreme PTSD, coupled with dissociative episodes. This is still very hard to talk about, but what I know is that it affected me to the point I made a good attempt at ending my life, but my darling kitten found me just in time. (love you baby x). I also suffer with quite bad dyslexia and AADD, both on the AS range.
Well I had been living with all that, well not living sort of existing. But then around 2 years ago something inside changed, I wanted to start living and enjoy my life again, but I needed to make some pretty big changes, but I knew with the help of my darling master I could do it. But I also need to us to use technics that I knew worked and were based in fact and logic. This is where people think I’ve lost the plot on stuff, but bear with me. I work as a dog trainer and behaviourist, I use techniques such classic and operant conditioning all the time. I know it works and it is based in since. It works, I have seen it work, so I decided to run with it! (Adding here that I had the help and support of my therapist on this)
So, we came up with to encourage better mood and motivation using +/- reinforcement. We also decide to tackle destructive thought patterns, that lead negative behaviours, such as putting, hiding my feelings, and self-harm, using +/- punishment. +/- reinforcement, and +/- punishment comes under the banner of operant conditioning and is based on the research of B.F Skinner. Basically, it is the concept that Good consequences encourage repeat behaviour and Bad consequences discourages repeat behaviour. Positive reinforcement, is adding something in to increase likelihood of a behaviour being repeated. Negative reinforcement is removing something to increase the likelihood of the behaviour being repeated. It’s the same with punishment, but instead of increasing the behaviour it decreases the likelihood of it being repeated. So, what the boss man did was got to make reward charts. One for everyday house hold / work stuff/ Homework, like answering emails, food shopping and Doing homework. I also had one for Personal care and D/s stuff. At the end of each day if I get sticker on each of my charts for getting all my ticks, I get a £1 in my Treat money box (it has UNICORNS on it) I can also earn extra stickers and £££ by being extra good, or brave or for doing stuff without being asked. Those stickers can be given to me by the boss man or Babe. At the end of the month I can open my tin and spend the money on whatever I want or carry on in to the next month for even big rewards at the end of the next month. if the is something Massively stressful going on or that is going to take a lot of time to get to, I get rewards along the way and a big goal reward. I should add here that for me rewards are not gifts or treats. A lot of the times they can hugs, item spent as a family, extra free time or not having adult for the rest of a day. For punishment for things like hiding stuff or self harm, I lose my free time and privileges. This does not be loss of time as a family or time with the boss man. If I need comfort or support from him or the girls and I actively ask for that help, I get rewards for that! For putting myself down (which is the biggest thing that the boss man wants me to change) I either get made to write a list of 20 things I like about myself or good stuff I’ve done. Or I have to buy small gifts for 5 friends, write down what I said and then write a list of 5 reasons I’m awesome. (Sir Beasty came up with that idea)
The next thing we started using was classic conditioning. This theory is…

We used this for My panic and anxiety attacks. The biggest thing we did, and this was my CPN’s idea, was trained one of my dogs as a phytologic support dog. She is very laid back and calm, which flitters down to me. she has also been trained to notice my triggers and pull me away from them. So, she is my calm, by having my calm with me I start to identify that having her with me meant I was safe in the places. Also having her with me I have learnt to enjoy new stuff, like being in a group situation or talking in public. We also taught me to have safe places go when I feel the start of an attack coming on.

The next thing we used was counter conditioning to Help me with my Phobias Counter conditioning is basically Changing the emotional response to feared stimulus. For me some of things I fear (Phobias) like being seen necked by a partner and eating in public. For the being naked I got calm gentle encouragement to remove clothes and got to see that the more I show, the more sexually excited the boss man got. For the eating in public started with a calm relaxed pixie, sitting with people calmly eating, then to me having a drink with people eating, and then finally me eating with them.

Then we used one of my favour tools ever! Premack, this is a principle that to get the good reward you must do the less rewarding this first. basically, eat your veggies and you get to have ice cream! This for me is a great motivator. We used It when I was finding it hard to leave the house. If I walked to the gym I got to have a cuddle and training session with Steve (my hot personal trainer) if I went to the super market I got have a hot milk and a ginger bread man. If I went to a hospital appointment I got to have a happy meal afterwards!

The next thing we worked on was breaking bad habits. You will be really shocked to know that I have habits that drive the boss man up the wall! Like leave my car keys on the kitchen table, not tidying away my Lego or colour stuff or hooking the dogs lead on the banisters, so with gentle polite reminds from the boss man and the girls I stop doing the bad habits and start to use the desired good habit. Hanging my keys up, putting things away when finished playing with them and hanging dogs leads in the porch. It is said that it takes 28 to create a habit, and 3 months for that habit to become a behaviour, and you know, for me at least it’s true!
The last big thing the Boss man got me to work on is something I don’t openly talk about, but he thought I needed to include it, as it is a huge part of who I am. So here goes. I’m dyslexic and due to this I find reading, writing, and understanding incredibly hard. I’m not stupid, very far from it. But it does mean that I struggle and find things like reading complex letters, filling in forms, or writing emails that make sense, hard. It also means that I find getting and staying organised hard. I also have a form Of ADHD known as anxious ADD. It basically means that when my anxiety or stress levels are high, my brain kind of seize up. I can’t function, I get angry and frustrated, I come across as rude or aggressive to people. It also means that I have trouble judging peoples tone and meaning, so I find communication hard. With both it means that I find sudden changes to my routine or things happing unexpected knock me for 6 and I will and do sort of shut down.
The biggest thing I must deal with this are rules, limits, structure, and routine. It makes me feel relaxed and safe. Babe has helped me to learn to plan things out, so the is less stress of not knowing what is going to happen when. I have a detailed diary and household planner. Being a creative person it’s all brightly coloured, with sparkles and stickers. Anything written in them in pen , happens no matter what. But if something is written in pencil, it can be rubbed out and does not have to happen. The only people who can write in these are Myself, the boss man and Babe. Although I tend to get little notes from little bear and kitten, saying Boobies or I love you. I also get time outs. I know it sounds a little tot and like I’m a child, but again it works for me. I have two type. One is for when everything gets too much, it is given by Babe or the Boss man. I get sent to my quiet space (aka the box room). With no tech, know talking and sit and calm down. Babe or the boss man will come and check on me 20 mins later, and if I’m calm or crying I get cuddles and can then carry on with my day. I then have time outs that I give myself if I feel panic coming on. I will politely ask to leave what every situation I’m in. I will get my iPod, a drink, and my book, find a safe quiet spot, and calm myself down, before I end up in full on panic. When I feel better I re-join the family and carry on like nothing has happened. But I also have my little space that I go to when I just can’t cope. I will ask the boss man if its ok to and he then sort of takes over thinking for me for a bit. It is the only time that I do 100 % of what he says , without being able to ask questions. It normally involves activates I find calming, such Lego, colouring being read to or watching a Disney film. But it also involves lots of cuddles and reassuring words. The best bit is when I get sleepy and I get to take a nap with kitten!
So that is My/our take on behaviour modification, and how it has helped me. It’s a very personal take on it, but it is what works for me. I’m doing so much better than I was two years ago. I’m happy, steady, and doing things that I thought I was never going to be able to do again. It’s made my relationship with my Dom even more close and special. Its’s not for everyone, but it’s what works for this little pixie!

The diary of Pixie Heart – 12/6/17 –

Monday 12th June 2017: 6am – Up and at them! so happy and got my bounce back!!! Woke you up how I’m meant too as well!

6.20 am – yay shower with Babe! she is so kind and even shaved my legs for me! getting out to find you chose my cloths for me again made me really happy! Purple Maxie dress, no bra and black lace boy shorts, with my Birkenstocks sandles! hair up in a messy bun and light make up. I look really pregnant today :/

7am – See I is all better! I made you steak and eggs! thank you for making me my breakfast smoothy! toast and fruit for me and the girls , but aunty may is having a fry up!

8qm – do you have to go to work?! you could stay home and we could fuck?!

8.30 am – squeak! tattoos and piercing for the girls !!! thank you for my treats as well , I know and understand why I’m not allowed to get them till after sprogging.

9.15am –  ok need to pee again! could you ask you kids to stop jumping on their poor mothers blader!

10am – made it in the city, but dear god is it hot and sticky!

12am  – tattoos and piercings done! Babe did not flinch and Kitten just swore a lot. Little bear, well she cried, ouched and nearly broke my fingers off! I had to feed her spirit and animal crackers the whole time and a bar of chocolate after!

1pm – ok so back on the eating for the whole family! banana milkshake, bean bugger, sweet potato fries and fried pickles. with a massive tomato and spinach salad! don’t judge , but I want ice cream too!

3pm – Shopping done! I can’t hide my bum any more and I have actually bought maternity jean! also finally got outfits for the conferees sorted!

3.30pm – home just in time for a nap and I’m taking Kitten with me, cos I need muddles! Frenchie I passed my foundation degree! and a 4.00 GPA!

5pm – Woken up by a kiss from you! oh you are so coming to bed for a bit , I have a Kitten and I’m not afraid to use her!

6pm – see I knew we need a Dom cuddle session! I love when you put us across the bed and let us kiss and play with boobies , while you keep swooping sides and who you fuck! also love you growling heads down, bums up!

7pm – hehehe! pizza and salad take out , cos we was fucking!

8pm – bath time and Babe reading to me as a treat!

9pm – Why do I need to go to bed at 9pm and with little bear? I’m not tired!!!

Tuesday 13th June 2017 – 5.30am – Ok I was super tired! Good lord I need to pee so bad already!

5.45 am – ok can we snuggle?! and yes by that I mean I feel frisky 😉

6.30am – hehehe, that was fun and by god was it nice to make Babe come like that! Shower time now buster, you are not kissing my aunty with your beard smelling and tasting like me!

7.15 what has gotten in to you?!?! not that I did not like that .you washing me, and than bending me over  , planting my hands on the wall, pushing my feet apart and then just fucking me! oh and the shower head on pulse on my clit, dear god in heaven sweetheart!

7.30 am – ok have you got a new Lolita look kinky going on?! loving the cut off overalls and mini mouse vest top and sandles look tough! oh and by the way I love the light makeup and pigtail look!

7.45am- FOOD!!! I had a bowl of bran flakes with a banana , 2 slice of toast and a boiled egg, 3 figs and yoghurt and a massive glass of milk!

8.30am – I still have to do English lesson?! oh poop!

10.30am – Bloody hell! that was tough! Right pee time and off to look at community college for me!

12.30pm  – Yay I want to go here so bad! they have great arts and writing programs, they do a start-up your own business thing , and an amazing chace for the babies!

1.15pm – we got to meet you for lunch! salad , soup and bread ! and more fruit and yoghurt! and cuddled and kisses for me!

2.30pm – So yeah we seem to of made in to maceys again! oppsssie!

4pm – Home for a nap on the deck in the sun , and yes I have sun cream and hat on!

5pm – woken up by a kiss again! oh and ice tea, nice touch!

6pm – aunty may and little bear made chips, veggie fingers and peas and corn!

7pm – family tv time!

10pm – time to get ready for bed?! yes Boss!

11pm – bed time story was inspired chose dude! cuddles and sleepy time!

Wednesday 14th June 2017: 4.20 am – So yeah I’m awake and yeah I sort of kind of woke you up to , but baby names are not going to choose themselves Frenchie!

5.45am – So we got names sorted, birth stuff sorted and a plan for baby shopping done! thank handsome for indulging me and just letting me talk it all out of my little head!

6am – shower time , come on get your butt In their mr! little t is not going to clean himself, that is my   job!

6.20am – Clean! today I have decided to wear a blue summer dress with sandle, hair in pigtail and light make up! yes I will wear a hat and yes I will have my water bottle with me!

6.45am – I’m making waffles and bacon! mine and Kittens will have fresh fruit and yoghurt with them!

7.30 am – do you have to got to work?!? We could all go swimming or kidnap Sir beasty and …. *pouts, stamps foot and looks sad*.

8.30 am – so we have decided we need to go by mor panties at target, no really we do!

10.15am – Ok so panties seems to of turned into baby, dog and house shopping trip to target! oh and can you please talk to little bear about what she says in public and how loudly she says it please? Today we had ‘ Pixie I love reading sex toy reviews on your twitter feed, when are we going to start doing them? The 4 of us masturbate enough’ . the worse part is aunty may was doubled over laughing!

11.30am – ok So you rock frechie! getting home to find you have a massive food parcel delivered and its got a picnic for us to have on the deck, holy mother is that ace!

12.30pm – So sitting on the deck, under a sun awning and eating with the girls is heaven! so soing this all of next summer with the babies!

2.30pm – Sleepy now ….

5.10pm – awww I crashed again, didn’t I! thank you for waking me up with a kiss, but  what’s with the bag and card!?!?

5.30pm – I’m Skyping your mother I don’t care what time it is! that is like the signal most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me!

6.30pm  – So I have stopped crying , for now! no I will not take my sparkly ring off , your mamma gave it to me! Chinese food tonight and a Game off-chance! yup I think are nerd is showing!

9pm – I did not cheat! My boobies look huge all the time! why is Aunty May going to bed early again, what are you up to?!?

11pm – Mercy , I call mercy! my bits are too sensitive! good grief, where the flip do you a) come up with this, b) get your energy and c) how do you get the girl to do that?!

12pm- Ok so your aftercare rocks! bagels, hot milk , lotion , pj’s and a bed time story , night you wonderful man! x

Thursday 15th June 2017: 6.20am – Tired and sorely , can I stay in bed?!? Ok a shower with kitten it is 🙂

6.40am – Really love the fact that it would appear I’m going to be doing the bare foot and pregnant look today! I am also loving you choice of undies, or should I say a thong and that’s it! light make, hair in a mess bun , and red lippy! you know I’m horny right?!?!

7am – big breakfast! piggedout.com

8am – Do you have to go to work?! oh meetings and people be damned! *stamps foot, pouts and hides your shoes*

8.30am – chore list says to take it easy and 4 hours of writing. I want to do washing and clean the kitchen!!!!

9.30 am – So you wont stay home, you teased me to the point of coming last night and now I’m horny, resting and allowed my phone! you have been warned, Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

9.45am – boobies pic and suggestive quotes it is then!

10.30am- I can’t focus to write and I’m wriggley , please can I go read and have a wank, please!!!

12pm – soup a salad and we bread for lunch! can I 69 with Kitten , please!!!

1pm – I told you I was going tease yah! please, please,please can I go calm myself down?!?

2pm – I’m going to exploded soon! Why has Babe got her evil grin on ?

3pm – Oh you delightfully twisted sod! edging and control practice at the hands of Babe, Yummy! bring it on dude!

4pm – Nap time, Babe let me come and I is now exhausted. Zzzzzzz

5.30pm – your home a full hour early and whats in the bag??

6pm – dinner of homemade veggie starfy and sticky rice!!!

6.45pm – What’s in the bag?!?! oh and yes I love dvd in the family room!

8.15pm – Bath time with little bear. I think she might of put too much bubble bath in though?

8.35 pm – thank you for saving us an I really am sorry you shirt and tie got wet 😦

9pm – why don’t I have my jammies?

11pm – uncle! stop, I can’t take any more, bloody fucking Norah! So you go a new paddle and toys! I need to drink a gallon of water after that. Fuck! Oh and book on bondage for babe? Christ I’m watching my step from now on!

11.30 pm bedtime story and cuddles, best after care ever invented, night x x x x

Friday 16th June 2017: 6.30 am – ok so I’m shattered , so not having caffiene  today. only 3 days left out here, don’t want to go home 😦 So shower and get ready for the day 😦

7am – thank you for the cuddle in the shower, I feel very small and delicate. I just want to hide :(and thank for choosing my cloths!

7.15am – toast, fruit and yoghurt , and bran flakes! really wish you could be off today, but ill have fun sight-seeing with the girls!

8am – I have been thinking , but could we read the book club book together now that I don’t have home work?! just a thought 🙂

9am – good lord what the flip does it take to get a baby girl, two subs, and pregnant little out the house?? Aunty May and Muffins!

9.45am – Ok so I don’t think I could or will ever tirer of saying , ‘Oh just taking the subway in to Manhattan’ London and paris are great to look round , but it is awesome here!

12pm – Lunch and a sit down! Cripps my feet hurt and I’m all hot! Not sure if little bear and aunty May liked the art as much as the rest of us, but will be happy with the aquarium .

5pm – Off to meet you from work! love doing this so much! and going out to eat after work to!

7pm – Stuffed! I love the fact that over here the don’t think I mental for just having side!

8pm – I’m tired out , can I just chill and watch tv? oh and can I have my foot rub early, Please???

10.30pm ok bed time story and sleeps!

Saturday 17th June 2017: 5am – So I’m freaking out , it is less that a week to the conference and I am in a different country! I should be helping them all out and pulling my weight. also I have only jus realised that I’m doing a whole flipping hour and that I am freaking on in between like amazing speakers! Thank you for saying I could get up and write. brain is moving at a million miles an hour!

6am – so got that all out my head! thank god , I never knew how much of the stuff I worry about is actually really nothing for me to worry about at all! silly pixie! so shower and get dressed , then breakfast Skype call with steve!

8am – Ok so defo nothing to worry about on the conference side of things , admin Alison is on it! all I need to do is to booster my confidence and yay!

9am – family day! ok I’m voting for sitting on the deck and reading or an Underworld marathon!

12pm – yay we finally get to have burgers on the deck cooked on the grill!

1pm- what do you mean by ‘cute’ when I eat chilles and lime;)

2pm movie time!

3.45 pm – ok so , yeah , hi….. did I full asleep again!?

5pm – One last pizza and salad blow out before we go!

7pm- eaten too much , can’t move! Movie and early night!

9pm – so I have woken up now its time to go to sleep!

11pm – hehehe! I wore Little bear out! Babe gave her a good old spanking too! But best bit was tag teaming you with kitten! I may be 4 moth pregnant , but I still got moves and I know damned well how to use them!

Sunday 18th June 2017 – 6am – up and at them buster! yup plan home day! really don’t want to go , but hopefully next time will be back with babies and back for good! So get that cute butt in the shower!

7am – everyone up, showered and ready for one last breakfast t the dinner!

8.30am – I am going to miss this place so much!

9.30 am – Ok so packing time! yay! {(not)

12.30 – Last lunch at our little dinner 😦 can we not stay?!)

1.45pm – Keys dropped off

2.pm- I’m just going to put this here, I’m not having ago or moaning or being a brat, but I really don’t want to go home. I don’t want to deal with my family, work or the midwife. I want to stay sat on the deck , chilling and taking naps. but I have to be an adult and go home, but I just want to say I was super happy here and cant wait to come back for good.

5pm – get the feeling sir beasty might be majorly pissed at me 😦

6.17pm- I have never been more willing to take sleep meds and just sleep the whole way home!

1/6am – I have time traveled and I’m almost home, night or morning Frenchie…

Well I have made it home to my quiet little corner of the uk! I’m kind of sad to be home, sure I get to the dogs, my god kids and nieces and nephews, but I was really happy and felt settled in New Jersey . So I will rest today and be back on top tomorrow!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x