The Boobies have it!

So last week my darling little bear came home from shopping close to tears, after some little old lady told her that her choice of tops was showing too much cleavage! Now apart from being untrue, hurtful and really bloody rude, Opened up some very newly held wounds for the poor little one. You see are little bear had rather big boobies, that till 6 months ago she hated. See at the age of 24 the poor lamb had GG cup breast, that made her back hurt and shoulders hunch. But earlier this years her Doctor said they had stop growing and that her weight had stayed the same long enough for her to under go breast reduction surgery. She went from a GG to DD cup, and although she was in pain after and has only just been allowed a ‘normal’ bra , it has been the most amazing thing ever! Her confidence has sawn and she is happy . I think it has been a godsend for her, both mentally and physically , so when some old bag decided it was ok to make comments that derailed bear being happy , then I get cross!

All this got me to thinking about breast and what people think of them. I mean how does the world really see them , like really ‘See’ them. I mean I know that they are there to sustain New born life , but what else do they do. Well yes I now having them played with can make you wet and they can get people looking at them excited. But in main stream society what do we think of them!?!?

Growing up in a very traditional catholic house hold, boobs , as my nana called them were some what of a taboo. I never saw a woman breast-feeding a baby , never saw bras or talked about them. the only times I ever saw them was the odd flash in a religious painting (we never went a looked at fancy art!) or the occasional  Page 3 girl in my uncle micks cab of his truck or the big booed cartoon women in those comic postcards. They were just one of the things that women had and that was it! I was taught , that yes I would get them, but you don’t stare at them and you don’t talk about them, cos they were some how dirty or wrong.

The one thing I did see was how woman and their breast got judge by people, of both sexes. Men seemed to see woman with big boobs as some sort of air-head, who were less than them or an easy lay! if the showed cleavage they were ‘asking for it’  and if they covered them up they were to said to have ideas above their station or frigid old frumpy. (that was my great nann’s saying). If you happened to have small boobs , you got teased , told you were bookish or some how less of a woman. women judge each other just as harshly , looking down on anyone who showed cleavage or was remotely sexual.

The media only showed breast as either air-head page 3  girls or strippers for the bigger breasted ladies, think Sam Fox. Then smaller more like Sigourney weaver, seen as clever, talented and possible a dyke. Not that was a term I knew what it meant, but from the way people in my family and community used it , I knew it was something that I did not want to be.

So it will come as no big surprise that when I hit 11 and started growing breast, I tried to hide them and myself away from prying eyes. It wasn’t till I got to my mid teens that I learnt it was ok to wear a slightly tight t-shirt, that showed the shape of my boobs. It was just after my 14th birthday that I learnt the wonder of breast and all their hidden pleasures. as I got older and went to university and got involved in first the arty scene, and then the goth and fetish scene that I learnt to feel comfy and happy with my chest. I also learnt that I’m a girl who likes looking, playing and enjoys boobs!

The thing that I find shocking and very odd is as a society we seem to say now that we have the right to dress , act , and do what ever we want, letting and encouraging young girls to wear things that if I had worn them at their age , would have left me branded a slut. But we are so quick to say low self-esteem , have a boob job! now I am not going to touch on boob jobs and the such, if you want one then great , if you don’t like them and are happy with what you have , then great. Just be happy and don’t judge a person on their boobs!

That my dear friends is why I love the Kinky community so flipping much, cos I don’t know any place I could have gone to a group of girls and guys , what do you think of Boobies? and got really honest , truthful answers. Turns out Straight and bi guys all pretty much love boobs in all form and in any style! Woman well , on the whole they are happy with what the got handed out , some would have them smaller/ bigger/ fuller/ perkier or change them a little bit, but they like them! but what blew me out the water ,  was that every person I asked thought that a person should do what every they want with their boobs as long as they are happy ! So YAY kinksters for being once again the queens and kings of the body positivity !

As for me , well I have learnt that I loved my small boobies , that I love my ever-growing breast and that they seem to be loved the people in my life! they are a source of endless pleasure and that I love playing with others more than anything! (I get called the queen of the nipple in are house!) . Don’t know what the future holds for my boobies after the babies get here , but I’m hoping for a lot more fun to come!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Ps – Ladies , lets not forget…..boobie

Were Loving…..

Well I’m sat in hospital again…. Yeah I am feeling sorry for myself, but it won’t last , promise! I have to say though if it was not for the interweb , Skype and Apple tech, this little Pixie might be oh here knees, begging to go home! I have 2 IV’s in my port, prong oxygen and hospital food to deal with! So as a way of dealing with it I’m doing a ‘i’m loving it!’ list (do-dah-dah were loving it, yup I’m ripping Macdonald’s off!)

ProudToBeKinkiny Podcast – So yeah , while listening to the Loving BDSM Podcast the lovely Kayla mention that they were going to be on the ‘ProudToBeKinky’ Podcast, and of course 4 sets of shell likes pricked up! Are little family , well us girls love sitting and listening to a Podcast and doing something together (or doing each other), so when we hear of a ‘new’ New Podcast that we might like, we jump at the chance! So I downloaded the Podcast and we gave it a go, well what can I say , we did not stop laughing from start to finish! We downloaded a couple more to check the quality was there, Road testing them in the pits at drag met. Well if a Podcast can get a bunch of bikers laughing and going owwww that sounds like fun, well it has to be good! Sealing the deal of them going in to my weekly listening list was the fact that my Great Aunty May approves! We listen together doing the ironing on a rainy Tuesday morning. She thought it was ver positive , Floss was a sweetie and her other half is a dirty little sod!

Kink Craft – So I can not shout loudly enough about theses guys! Pixie and Mathew have an awesome website, Podcast, Plus size latex clothing and courses! The Podcast for me has been a huge help for me on a lot of levels. Firstly THey have a sort of rant at the start of the actual Podcast, that is about the stuff that is going on in the normal world , but refreshingly in a way I would. Then the is the fact that they put out an article at the start of the week, that they also do an audio version of the article. Which for little old me is amazing, with all my lack of Englishness and broken brain! But above all it is just the fact that it is total Body positive  from start to finish!

Tiggers Collars – Ok so everyone knows Pixie love her collars! I sort of re-found these guys after the Boss Man bought my first ever kitten collar from them. Up till then I had A sliver chain day collar, a black leather play collar and purple calves leather studded for clubs. I was allowed to make a short list of collars I liked on Etsy, and I stumbled across Tiggers Collars. I just fell in love with a very simple little purple leather collar that tied at the back with a ribbon and had I tiny little silver d ring at the front! When it arrived it was stunning and beautifully made. Well 2 years on and I have loads more collars , but I wanted a new kitten collar. That is when I found them and there awesome little on line store. They now have a range of leather , vegan leather and PVC collars that are both girlie and a little bit punky , so I love them! they even have day collars, BDSM jewellery and stuff for Doms! I have 3 collars from them now , and they are so bloody awesome that I can not recommend them highly enough!

So that is my gushiness done. The are some things that have been peeing me off, but I have decided to be a happy little Pixie and let them go!!!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

Question time with the girls – Floss, from the ProudToBeKinky Podcast.

Ok so I’m stating now this is going to be a weekly thing and here be give (with the boss man pumishtion) the right to kick my butt if I start slacking off again! I really like doing it and I just need to bluck up the courage and asked people if they want to paly! So that is just what I did! (as my nana used to say you don’t get, if you don’t ask!)

So after being really bold (very un- pixie-like) I ask the wonderful Floss (Floss does life ), from the awesome ProudToBeKinky Podcast, run by herself and her partner, Bakji. I loving listening to their Podcast , so much so it has become my Monday morning ironing podcast that I listen to with my Great Aunty May . Who I add, loves it , thinks floss is a sweetie and Bakji is a dirty little sod, so I highly recommend giving them a listen!

So here it is,

1) Dom/ Sub or Switch, discus? (Babe) Switch! I came to the kink scene thinking I was submissive, I assumed sexual submissive equals D/s submissive. I eventually discovered I was more of a bottom and had a far more light-hearted and playful approach to D/s tha what I initially thought would be my approach. I had some unfortunate encounters when I first tried Topping though and decided it wasn’t for me, despite Bakji being openly switchy when we met. Overtime I became more and more curious about his submissive side, and with his support and encouragement my journey in FemDom was born and I’ve got to be honest, I absolutely love it. FemDom has allowed me to explore so much of myself, in ways I never could have imagined. In the right moment though I do still love a good subby session, so yep, definitely a Switchy Kinkster.
2) What or who is your nemeses? (Pixie) Right now? Futomomo’s. So a rope tie where you bend your knee so your heel is firmly against your buttock, calf firmly against your thigh and then you tie rope around them so they are tied into one little stumpy leg. They are so versatile and not actually difficult, but for some reason my brain hates all the ones I know how to tie and I’m never happy with them.
3) Describe your vanilla self in 5 words and your kinky self in 5 words? (Kitten) Oooh this is a good one. I totally want to steal this for the quickfire questions we do on the podcast. Although now I’ve answered it I realise it’s a really, really hard question.
Vanilla me in five words would be, Mother – Nurturing – Resilient – Deep Thinker – Worrier
Kinky me in Five words would be, Switch – Sadomasochist – Tease – Sensualist – RopeLover
4) If you could have one magic spell, what would it be and why? (Little bear) Magic cleaning like Mary Poppins had. I would love to just be able to just make everything clean and and tidy with minimal effort.
5) What would you do and not do for 5 million £? (All) I wouldn’t do anything that might cause me permanent, life changing bodily harm, anything that would put others in danger, anything that could potentially remove me from my child, or anything that would hurt or harm anyone I love. I would however do most things that don’t come under that category. Money talks for sure, and I am under no illusion that a huge sum of money like that could persuade me to do all sorts of things. What I’d really like to do for £5 million is become a Latex Queen with many Latex minions. This must include a crown and a throne.
6) Who is your favourite writer and why? (Little bear) Ooh tough one. Well mad props have to go to J.K Rowling, purely for the fact I am NEVER bored of Harry Potter. I also read her writing as Robert Galbraith and they’re pretty good too. I haven’t read all his stuff but I think Stephen King is an incredibly skilled writer. Also for fun easy reads I enjoy Linwood Barclay and Cecelia Ahern. When I’m feeling a little more kooky with high brain power I really enjoy Haruki Murakami.
7) Top 3 boy crushes and top 3 girl crushes? (Kitten) I’m going to go for celebrity crushes, just in case a real life crush reads this, I’m not that brave.
Boy Crushes – Kit Harrington – Nick Frost – The Rock (although I think we’re officially meant to call him Dwayne Johnson these days)
Girl Crushes – Ruby Rose (although she makes me hot whatever gender she presents as) – Ashley Graham – Kat Von D
8) What do you do for none kinky fun? (Pixie) Well most of my non-kinky fun happens with my little boy who is 5. We like going to the cinema, going to build-a-bear and lots of going to the park. When I’m on my own without a small human or a Bakji, I like to listen to audiobooks and I don’t watch much TV, but I have recently enjoyed the latest season of Game of Thrones, I also like Masterchef and the Great British Bake Off but we will have to see if I still like that now it’s moved to Channel 4.
9) What is the most embarrassing sex thing to happen to you? (Babe) Hmm … well it takes a fair bit to embarrass me. But earlier in the year Bakji and I were house-sitting for my Dad and his partner. They were due back at 6pm, so at about midday we started a sexy session. We’d brought over our repurposed gym bench that we use to restrain Bakji to and everything. We’d just finished a pretty intense scene, whips, restraints, lube and clothes everywhere … oh and cameras, because we are perverts who film ourselves. When Bakji went to get changed and noticed figured at the door. They had come back 4 hours early without warning. I answered the door and managed to convey we needed some time to gather ourselves together. Luckily I am totally open with my Dad, and him and his girlfriend thought it was hilarious. It was however mildly embarrassing.
10) 5 Places you want to go, but have never been? (all) Harry Potter Studio Tour – Italy, specifically Rome and Vatican City – Mexico – The Ice Hotel in Sweden – So many Kink & Fetish conventions across the world.
Silly question from Little bear:
Who is you favouriting harry potter character? I can only pick one favourite? OMG! That’s like asking a Mother to pick her favourite child, lol. I do love Hermione, I think she is really badass character. Smart, strong, brave and even rebellious but in all the right ways. She always picked just the right moment to reveal how totally kickass she was. I always enjoyed that about her.
Do you have a magic wand? No!! But I want one so bad! One day! I need a wand suitable for a Slytherin, as that’s the house I got sorted into. Apparently my wand would be Laurel Wood with a Pheonix feather core.
What super power would you like? Time travel. Or the ability to stop time.
Are you for or against pop tarts? For, but they have to be very specific flavours. I like chocolatey ones, not so keen on the fruit ones. Although when I was with my ex still we used to have cookies and cream pop tarts sometimes and they were amazing.
Best bubble bath, ever? I love things from the Body Shop, which is a really rare treat. I like things that smell fruity and they cater really well to that. I also really like the Sanctuary Spa products from Boots. We don’t have a bath at the minute though, only a shower. So I usually just try and buy a nice shower gel instead.

I have to say a massive thank you to floss for answering little bears questions , it made her dance round the living room in just her panties!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

The Diary of Pixie Heart – 28/8/17 – 3/9/17

Diary: mouse
Monday 28th August 2017. 4am – Home from the hospital. I’m sorry for falling down the stairs and sorry I frightened you and the girls. I frightened myself and I hurt all over  thank you for letting just go to bed and have cuddles.
9.30 am – blimey I hurt! Breakfast on the sofa, with cooking television is so good!
11am – pain killers and banana bread!
1pm – Emit has decided I need ‘looking after’ and has taken me hand! Not that I doubt it, but I swear my gay, subbie male friend is getting all Dom on me! But he made me cheese sandwich and cut the crust off, so I will be good!
3pm – I went napping without being told to! More sofa time and painkillers!
4pm – I’m being allowed to help make cakes. by help little bear means sitting and being good!
5.20pm – You’re going to the fish and chip shop, on your own!
5.45pm – Chips, pea fritters and curry sauce! And pudding!!!!
6.30pm- not happy you have to work all night, but sleeping in the living room is kind of you! Been safe and I love your x x x x
7.10pm- well that is one way to have a bath! I’m cleaner and clean thing, but little bear seems to think that even my ears needed washing!
9pm- please, please, please don’t make me must go see the new IT film please!!!
11pm – last pain killers and snuggle time.

Tuesday 29th august 2017: 6am – I so needed that sleepy! Up and at them, or so I thought! Get down to find Emit and babe are in the kitchen and I’m ushered on the sofa, fed given med, do my neb, and reading my book!
8.30am – Right midwife again! Everything is ok and I’m healthy!
9.45am – I’m sat down doing blog planning stuff!
10.30am – Ok cross mouse! Poor little bear has come home almost in tears cos some stuck up cow said her top was too low for someone with breast her size. She did cry a little bit , but also said then she also stopped and said she was not going to let it upset her! Can she please have a reward sticker please?!?
12.30pm – Lunch time. Emit is forcing me to eat cheese!
1.30 – Email time! Cripes , how do I get so many stupid people not getting that I’m on maternity leave?
2pm – Nap time! I am snuggling with emit cos I can’t sleep on my own today!
4pm – Oh God No! how could I not of relished that I have a fecking training committee meeting!!!!!
5pm – Little bear is cooking dinner and it is looking good!
5.45pm – I love getting my welcome home smooch! Thank you, x,
6pm – Little bear did good! She can make pasta and sauce all on her own! So Proud of the girl!
7pm – Commtie meeting time! Wish me luck!!!
9pm – Oh dear god! Why can’t this be over already.
10pm – Ok I just used the phrase ‘as head trainer I’m saying that we are not using out of date methods and we are not going to use @” $%!” £”! as a guest trainer!’
11.15pm – Bed, cuddles, sleep! Night Frenchie! X x x x
Wednesday 30th August 2017: 7.15am – I slept late! Thank you for letting me get up and make everyone’s breakfast! Emit is off in London with people from Uni. But I have Uncle freed coming to be with me!!!
8am – YAY, I’m allowed to do house work!
9.30 – Washing done, kitchen cleaned and beds made! Uncle Fred Is here now, so I get to go buy food!
10.30am – Hell how much meat can you buy for £40 !!! better still he minced down 4 kg of chicken carcases for mad eye!
11.30am – Yay we have a full stocked kitchen now!
12pm – Oh dear god I have missed lunch with uncle Fred lunch dates!
1pm- Dinner prepped, tomorrow ready to go and rabbit rage on the stove!
2pm – Nap time!
3.30pm – Rude awakening from Mad Eye jumping on me and sitting on my face! Little shit! Might as well try and write for a bit, cos the dogs seem to want to hold an afternoon nap party in the bed!
5pm – yay I wrote for like a full hour none stop! Dinner is looking and smelling deli scouse too, I can’t wait for you all to try it!
5.30 pm – So I made namb bread to go with dinner but me and kitten are eating it now with pickles and chutney! #sorrynotsorry
6pm – Dinner is served! Lamb shank madras, with rice and side thing!
6.30pm – I have never seen the dogs so excited to be given left over bone! Ps yes, I did see you get Jordy and spidie chicken wings, you softie!
7.20pm – Closed door bath with muscle soak and a glass of cherry aide is so nice thank you!
7.45pm – Pooped pixie is off to bed to do bloggy stuff and to watch MasterChef with kitten! (I’m getting to old for
9.30pm – So all us girl have come to bed and you playing on the Xbox, god we are so rock and roll! Lol I have 7 blogs post scheduled though so kind of proud of that
10pm- I flagging big time here, so babe is doing a bed time story and we are all turning in!
2am- Fulling asleep on the sofa is not the done thing old man, can’t carry you up the stairs, but I can snuggle up with you on the sofa! Love you Frenchie! X
Thursday 31st of august: 5am – thank you for not shouting at me for coming down and snuggling with you, I can’t sleep without you now.
6.30am – oh god the luxury of doing house work this early is So nice! Dishwasher on, washing on, living room clean, oven cleaned and downstairs bathroom cleaned!
7.30am – Breakfast done and cleared away! Now scoot and get that cute French but in the shower mister! *tries to do a bossy wife stare and fails*
8.45am – I did not need a shower, I was not dirty or sweaty! But hay I needed to come so, yay for showers! Right all in the car for work!
9.30 am – that’s you all off to work and I’m early for my English lesson!
11am – I got 20/20 in my spellings, Go Mouse!
12.30pm – Lunch in a pub with aunty may and the catholic lady’s guild, what could go wrong! Keep your phone on buster, I might need you!
2pm – I feel yucky Frenchie, chesty and weary.
3.30pm – My ears are really hurting now me and I keep going dizzy 
4.15pm – Something burst up my nose, so I phoned the dr going straight down now!
5pm – Chest, ear, and sinus infections. Bad dehydration and I’ve lost weight  home iv antibiotic, pain killers and total rest 
5.10pm – got back to the car and broke apart! thank good for babe, phoned her and she did no more than left work, walked to the doctors to drive me home. having stopped to get me mango and apple juice and lentil crisps.
6pm – bathed, in pj’s and take out for dinner ordered!
6.30pm – dinner was nice, but now I want to go to bed please?
7.45pm – bed and cuddles with my kitten! Love are little family!!
9pm – My neb is not helping as much 
10.30pm – Going sleep, exhausted!
4.am – sorry I woke you all up with my coughing, neb seems to of calmed it down a little,
Friday 1st September – 7am – I’m up but exhausted, so I promise to stay on the sofa!
9am – uncle Fred has come to sit with me. I hate morning tv and I hate feeling this poorly!
12pm – feeling bad now!
1pm – dinner from Deliveroo for lunch!
3pm – all I have done today is watch tv and slept. I feel like a beached whale!
5.45pm – little bear has been posting pickoff me sleeping on twitter again!
6pm – I feel bad that kitten so having to cook dinner 
7pm – bath and dinner in bed!
9pm- It’s getting worse and it’s hurting can I go get checked at A&E???

Saturday and Sunday – I was kept in hospital as it turned out I was pretty poorly. I’m on oxygen, Iv fluids and antibiotics, with a monitor on the babies. I’m fighting very hard and getting better all the time, but it’s going to take a while 😕.

i’m laying in a hospital bed trying to be a brave little pixie , but I’m frightened , lonely and missing home. I know I’ll get to go home soon and know I’m in the best place. I know that this is something I have to do and will have to do again , but it does not get any easier! I’m just frightened, worried and just so tired!

Pixie x x X X

The Role of Protector in the Kink Community

SOOOO Love this!

The lovely @PixieHeartblog on Twitter, posed a really good question this week, asking for other people’s views on protectors in D/s and BDSM. I really wanted to respond, but soon realised it would be far too many tweets to convey every thought I have. Instead you are getting a whole blog post on the subject.

When I first joined Fetlife and the kink community I listed my role as submissive, which I’ve since realised isn’t a good fit for me, but at the time with my limited knowledge of BDSM I thought it was accurate. What happened upon making that my role was an influx of messages from would be ‘Doms’ all trying to claim the submissive newbie.

I hated those messages with a passion, I still do. I had offers from friends I’d made on the scene to cite them as protector, a recommendation that came with the knowledge…

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From the heart, it’s been a tough week!

So this week has been really tough going for this little pixie poo! You know when you have so many thing going on, some really Big Frightening growed up things! Add in some really emotional stuff and not sleeping to good, but having to Adult and get shit done , and well I’ve been a very needy and wanty little pixie as well!

One of the biggest things I have had going on is my mental health and being pregnant. Not so much my actual mental health, more the management of it . A number of weeks back I asked my cpn for more help . Well I have got the help I need and I can not sing the praises of my Cpn and the cmht. But the is an on the flip side a little bit of a downer. Social services had to be told that I was having a relapse of my depression. They then had to go through a risks assessment proses to look at whether I was / will be able to cope when pea-nut and raspberry get here. Now don’t get me wrong , this has been upsetting and stresful in its self,  but I was happy to go through it. Growing up I lived with a mother who worked every hour god sent, out of choice, who in later years we found out is an alcoholic. My daddy, who I love with my whole hear,t suffers with bipolar disorder. Now when he was on meds he was amazing. But when he was off them, well it was not fun. I have seen him so low he has hurt himself and even found him O.D once. I have also seen him so manic he has had to be held down to be sedated. no child should ever have to see this. But my dad also when ill, seemed to want to take his frustration out on someone, and that person was me. now if back then the mental health and social services had stepped in , maybe I would not of had the crap kicked out of me and just maybe I would not be quite the mess I am today. (I’m not moaning , it’s made me strong and who I am!) So knowing that social services are on the ball has also been a sort of comfort. Well as of Thursday lunch time , I can say that I no longer have to worry about it as I got the thumbs up and a green light as being ok to be a mum! Saying that I do have a low mood , but I taking steps to deal with it in a proactive way. That I have a tight and supportive family , who are helping and that will step in and call for help if needed!

This week I have also had to deal with the (hopefully) last thing to do with my ex. He went to prison for rape and aggravated assault against me. But last year he was charged with more assaults and sexual assult of a person under the age of consent. I had to go to the police station and answer questions about it but they found that I had no knowledge of what he had been up to. (Trust me if I had known I would of gone to the police myself) . It went to court and he was found guilty of all charges, and on Wednesday he was hand more time in prison. now this is the odd part on my side, I want , no needed to go see him being sentenced. I guess I want to go prove him wrong that I am loved , that some one would want to have babies with me and show him that his not broken my spirt!

It’s not been a total nightmare of a week though. My best friend Emit (I have like 5 best friends) has come over for a 3 week visit from the states! he has just broken up with his partner of 18 years, and wanted some place where he could just get over it and not have people trying to set him up on dates all the time! its been so nice having him here, we are both very sierra. His Submissive, love musicals and is almost as ocd about cleaning as me! not that this will sound fun to anyone but me, but we spent 3 days just tidying the bits I can’t do on my own. He gets on with the girls and they love he to pieces. but the best thing was him saying, that he likes the boss man and that he thinks his been really good for me!

I have also got myself a little more organised re-blogs and writing . I have cleared a space to write and have some quiet time. I have got a list of things I want to get done before babies turn up and what we still need to get! I have also started to feel like the yucky gunk of depression lifting a little. So on the whole it’s all good!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x