Blog challenge – Day 2 ‘how have you changed in the past 2 years?’

well it’s day 2 of my blog challenge, and today’s question is how have you changed in the past 2 years? Good question, I really have changed a lot in the last 2 years, on a lot of different levels

To understand how and why I have changed I should properly explain a little about what was going on in my life 2 years ago. It was a year and 3 months post split from my ex and he was waiting trial for assault and rape. I was in the proses of getting a divorce and struggling to cope with day-to-day life, on my own. I had , had my collar for a year , the boss man and the girls had all moved in with me and the boss man was selling his house in Cornwall and france. i was still doing 3 different types of therapy a week and also under a CPA with my local cmht. I was shy , frightened and lacked any conference what so ever. it was at this time that maîtriser started to come to my therapy sessions with me. He started to ask me to try some changes , to see if it would help me get my happy back!

I started to keep my diary everyday and I started to have a daily chore list. I started back at the gym, started to learn yoga and started attending barre classes. I enrolled in some classes at the local college and the open university . I stopped working as a ‘dog walker’ and started my own training business . I started to write a little, as a way to vent what I had going on in my head.

I also made a  lot of changes to my family life, which although were really hard for me to do , helped massively . Firstly I asked for my mum , dad and sisters to give their keys to my house back, So they would no longer just turn up uninvited. I also stopped spending time with either of my parents , without the boss man or the girls being with me. This had the knock on effect of both my sisters doing more for my parents , something they had not really done in the past.

over the next 2 years the boss man helped push myself outside of my comfort zone every signal day. I learnt a lot about who I really was and what I really wanted out of life. I also started to explore how I felt about different kinks and different poly set ups. We settled on an open , poly relationship. We decided that we wanted to all live, sleep and love as one big family group.

So 2 years on I find myself blissfully happy , loved , respected , cared for and getting my conference . I will now stand for myself , speak up and don’t let people put me down. I am never going to be the most confident of people, but I now teach people and dogs. I feel settled and safe for the first time ever. I married the Boss man last December, we have babies on the way. I run my own business and I’m quite in demand as a speaker with in my field. But more than anything , I have stopped hiding , I deal with any problems that come up in my life head on and I am proving people wrong everyday!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Blog Challenge – Day 1 ‘Weird thing you do when your alone’

Oh what a question to start with! I had to really stop and think about this, then I stopped and thought , and was like hang on I’m not weird . It’s you ‘normal’ people that are weird! but then talking to some ‘normal’ friends an it turns out I am a bit of a ‘weirdo’ , so hey hum! I’m going to list them In bullet points, cos I like that , it pleases my funny little head!

  • I talk to my dogs. Not just ‘oh what a lovely girl you are spidie’ or ‘jordie , will you leave mad eyes bum alone’. But like full on conversations. My lurcher Bella has been trained to look after me , so is with me most of the time. She is very used to talking about what I’m doing and about what is happening, hell I even ask her advice on what to wear. The weird thing is I think they understand me and sort of reply to me. (don’t judge)
  • I do house work in the nude. I find it very freeing and get a bit of a kick out of it! I have even been court out by the postman a couple of times;)
  • Lego scene building. I have a really huge love of Lego, and few years ago I found out about building little scene building. What I do is make a back ground , stag a scene and take pics of them. favourite ones to do are ones with monsters or comedy chace scenes!
  • Dancing round the kitchen in the nude. Ok I love dancing, love being in the nude and my kitchen is my favourite room in my house. simples!
  • planning. Ok so not weird so you would think, but …. I have stickers , glitter gel pens and a big old planner. I sit and spread out a cross the kitchen table , put my iPod on super load , sing and plan! its heaven and it is away for
  • I binge watch things on YouTube. things like extreme coupons or super market sweep. I never get to watch crap when the rest of the family , cos their high brow!

So that is my shameful weirdness! So what do any of you do that is a little weird , when your on your lonesome??

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

Dah da dah!

Good evening kinksters and nilias of the world!

So I have been a little bit on the poorly side again and had a blip on the depression front, but it is getting better! I was a really good girl and asked for help. the Boss Man and girls have been ace. i got give loads of help and the Boss Man has added in loads of stuff to support me! one of the things is a Blog challenge , as I did the 30 days of D/s and that helped massively with mood and structure in my everyday life! So he found 20 challenges, and ask Kitten to pick 5 and then asked girls to pick 1. Well then I ended up in hospital and Kitten and the girls had no idea which one to choose, so they asked Sir beasty to pick one. He was super cool and picked one for me! (fluffy breadie one is good!) So I will be staring that tomorrow! The boss man has also set me the task of writing a 2000 word story with in a month and I am starting that tomorrow as well!

This is my 30 day challenge …..

blog challenge!

I’m also going to make a super big effort to upload my Diary every Monday . I will also be finding a willing victims to do question times with the girls, cos we love doing it and also love asking questions and getting to know people! We are also thinking of doing a Sub problem page / agony aunt thing! So if you have a question , problem or want to be a victim hit us at pixieheartblog@hotmail.com .

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Question time with maîtriser

So its been ages , right?!? again my health kind of got in the way, with low moods , Hospital and sofa days, but I’m now (touch wood) fixed up for a bit! So I have sat myself down with laptop and have started on all the Blog post I had planned, top of that list was Question time with maîtriser, So here it is!

1. Describe your kink self in 10 words? And the vanilla you in 10 words?! (Mouse) My kink self would be: Dominate, sadistic, passion, strong minded, care giver, protector, lover, friend. My vanilla self: Hard working, dead acted, fighter, strong willed, stubborn, fair, lover and friend. How did I know you would want words mouse?!
2. Top 5 kinks and why you like them? (kitten) 1) D/s. It seems to be something that sits well with my personality and speaks to my soul. 2) Sadism. I enjoy inflicting pain on willing partners. Mouse and Kitten talk of the high they get from feeling pain, well I get the same high from dishing it out! 3) Voyeurism. I’m an extremely visual person and watching people fucking, has been a kink for as long as can remember. So, having you 4 shows off minxes in my life is a blessing. 4) Bondage. I love the look off and the act of tying down a willing partner. It one of the ultimate forms of power exchange. 5)Fucking Outside or in risky places. Again, it’s a power exchange for me and, I get a high from the fact I could get court.
3. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength? (Little Bear). I used to see crying as a weakness. But over the last few years I have switch my view around. I believe that this is down to little mouse. When she was in hospital after trying to hurt herself, she tried so hard to keep her feelings inside, but when she let go and cried, it took my breath away at how much strength it took. It was a relies that she needed, but at the same time she had to be almost vulnerable. Now I know when one of my girls need to cry and get the relief they need. Ha-ha, I even have the odd tear or two myself. (my wedding day, finding out mouse was pregnant and telling my mother she was going to be a grandmother)
4. Who or what is your nemesis? Carbs, red meat, and cheese! HAHA mouse has me on a daddy to be eating plan! Pretty eyes, shy smiles and good manner have also been my undoing many, many times as well! That is why I have you 4 in my life! (Babe)
5. Describe all of us in 5 words (for each of us) Babe, Beautiful, talented, Sexy, switch and friend. Kitten, Sweet, funny farce stunning and loyal. Little Bear, Little, cute funny silly and brat. Mouse, Shy, funny, brave, beautiful, my hero and home. (all)
6. Who inspires you the most and why? My mother. She has bought me up on my own. She is amazingly clever , worked unbelievable hard and pushed me to become the best me I could be. She is a professor , but never makes people feel bennet her. But above all she is my mother. I would say all you ladies inspire me a little too! On a work level, it would the likes of Babyface, Glenn Frey, Don Henley and Lemmy. For their song writing, music playing and producing skills! (Babe)
7. Where do you stand on punishment? Punishment needs to fit the crime! It should sting, make an impact, and leave a mark. IT should be done as soon after the break of a rule , never held over a sub and should always include aftercare. (Kitten)
8. What is the most sensible thing you have ever heard someone say? You ask that little one! No , it would be my Nona telling me ‘Do what makes you truly happy, love with your whole heart and trust your gut. She is a very wise old bird!(Little Bear)
9. What 5 events have had the biggest impact on who you are today? My first day at School, the day I lost my virginity, the day I parted with my first sub, my wedding day, and the day I found out I was going to be a father. (Mouse)
10. What is the most embarrassing, funny, and hottest sex you have ever had?!m (All) HAHA! Hottest was bending mouse over trunk of my car, spreading her legs and fucking her for everyone to see. That was a good punishment. Embarrassing, the whole piggy blow job, burst blood vessel and hospital run. Funny, well that is when Babe was drunk and started trying to Make me act as her sub! Everything she tried to get me to do I came back 10 times harder, and she woke up still tied to the kitchen table!
Other silly questions – Can we get a new puppy? Or a Unicorn? Can we be Disney princess for Halloween? Where is the key to the toybox? Why are we not allowed to have pop tarts for tea??
No, No, Yes, Babe has it and If I let Mouse or my little bear have that much sugar the world would end!

Hope you enjoyed it!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

I’m Loving ……..

Good evening Kinsters!

So I am sat at home, in bed at 9.20 pm on a Saturday night , with nothing or no body to do! It’s been a really weird week for me , with loads of ups and downs, with things changing at the last minuet . The high points have been my cinema dates with my great-uncle fred and doing are pass it on thing today. The low points have been my continued low mood, Babe hurting her hand (she had to have an operation and everything) and one of my dogs hurting her paw and due claw (She had to have an oppertion as well!) So I’m feeling a little down and all over the shop! so to calm myself down, make me smile and spread so happy vibes I decided to make a list of stuff I’m loving right now! (@pixieheartblog) come find me for some kinky banter!

  • Twitter – So yeah, I’m on twitter and feel like I’m making new friends and finding my tribe! I never really go in to the whole twitter thing when it first started , but now it is really becoming something that I am growing to love!
  • Ecstatic Relaxation – Found out about this listen to the Loving BDSM podcast. It sound good so I thought I would give it a go. DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN!!!! It is basically a guided meditation , that focuses on edging nearer and nearer to climax , and then backs off and build you up again. Not only is it really relaxing, but the guys voice is a major turn on (I have a thing for deep US drawl). when I finished myself of I came really hard , the sort of coming that leaves you needing a nap. Add to this that I was horny, needy and wanty after this for 5 days , and we had a very tired Boss Man and kitten!
  • Kink Academy  – So this is an awesome site (well I think so) . Full of loads of really interesting video on all things kinky! I have learnt a lot and I have been round the bloke a few times! lol. (FYI froggie that is not putting myself down!)
  • The Dildorks – Well their podcast! (and them!) Super informative, funny and full of different kinks! Me and the girls listen to it in the morning , cos its a great thing to listen to over breakfast!
  • Sinful Sunday. – Kinky pics , posted by kinky ‘normal’ people. It’s an off shoot of Molly’s Daily Kiss  , Which is also a great blog. But I love this cos it gets people thinking and being creative. The have been some pretty EPIC pics and I love looking at them with the Boss Man , and going we should tots do that or give it a bash!

So that is what is floating my boat and getting my juices flowing!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

Question time with Sir Beasty.

So you may have heard me go on about ‘Sir Beasty’ before, but none of you have really met him have you?! So I asked him , nicely to do a question time thing for me and the girls, as a sort of getting to know him thing! The Boss man was going to be first up for this, but he had to go work in Paris for a week, so Sir Beasty stepped up and took one for the team! I should explain a little about him and how I know him. Well his a friend of mine who is simply one of the most amazing people who you will ever meet! Sweet , funny and caring . His a very clever guy, our super hero and a very talented dude. He also acts as an online protector to myself and the girls. He is also , strangely one of a like 5 men outside the Boss man who I trust. He is also allowed to tell me off, to shush me and to simmer down. But above all this he is someone who makes me feel safe , loved and makes me laugh at myself! So Big Love and Squeashes to the Beasty for doing this for me! (We loves you whole bunches sir!)

Question time with Sir Beasty.

1. Who inspires you and Why? (Babe)
a. Strong beautiful women inspire me. People who overcome inspire me. Diverse lives with meanings that can be construed as deep, touching, vulnerable… those people inspire me because fear does not limit them, it does not stop them. It inspires them to do more, be more and try… more.
2. Dom, Sub or switch, Discus? (Kitten)
a. Switch – I find it easy to slip into a Dom role when in the right company. I can sense submissive and instantly want to protect them. I can also pick up on dom female personas and naturally like to please.
3. Top sexual Fantasy and why? (little bear)
a. So many… I fantasize about sitting down to study, write or goof off on a game console and a beautiful woman wearing my shirt and heels walks in to the room I am in. She has that look in her eyes says she’s ready to play, to give me anything I want. I ignore her as long as I can, making her wait for what she wants. In some of these fantasies, I am talking on a conference call at work or online with friends and she does everything she can to get me to crack under the pressure. The cat and mouse game goes round and round waiting for one of us to give, to cum and to scream in pleasure.
4. What are your turn ons and turn offs? (Mouse)
a. Confidence, strength and curiosity are turn-ons. Chewing with your mouth open, inane babble and inability to keep up in conversation are turn-offs.
5. Dirty talk, yes or no? examples please? (all)
a. YES – Oh hell yes! That is much easier demonstrated in person
6. What kind of music do you play when you’re about to get your freak on? (kitten and Mouse)
a. New Age, Moby, atmospheric, thunderstorms with a drum beat underlay… so many options. Sexual tempo and temperature change with the tempo of the music.
7. What kinks do you have and what would you like to explore? (babe)
a. I have many kinks, so many. I would explore almost everything given the chance.
8. What are you top 3 strengths? (Little bear)
a. Listening, empathy, ability to give people what they need.
9. Describe your perfect day? (Mouse)
a. When I find it, I will let you know.
10. Best, worst, and most embarrassing sex ever? (all)
a. This will take some time to explain lol
Added to this were the questions are unicorns real? have you seen a mermaid? and where is the treasure hidden? But the boss man said no to them (Meanie)

Since you asked nicely… The treasure is )(*(&(*#(*&(*&#HJD))()*#)(_ _)_#_)_(&*#^*&# *(@#(*^&$)

Well that is Sir beasty! Next up is the Boss Man , if we can get him to sit down and answer the blinking questions! (How much trouble would we get if we sat on him and tickled him till he played ball?!?!)

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

From the heart…..

So I have been away from writing for a bit, what with conferences , babies and life getting in the way, it’s been all I could do to climb in to bed at night and not just crash out on the sofa. But now , well now I’m free to stop, breath and look around at what is going on in the wider world! What do I see ?!?! well friends and loved one struggling. people fighting and hurting other people . Things that make me want to hide behind the boss man and come out when all is clam and still again!

To be 100% honest with myself , I am finding things hard at the moment . Not anything as hard as some people , just a sort of resurfacing of my blue mood and anxieties, that as hard as I try I can’t stamp down on and tell to go away again. I think I have been so busy for such a long time , that now I don’t have stuff to worry about or be doing, I feel sort of deflated and sad. I also feel a little detached from the real world and out of touch with what is going on around me. I keep finding myself close to tears or just starring in to space. I feel like I have lost my way a little and that I can’t get myself motivated!

So I have asked the Boss man to step in and asked for some extra support. (more than I get now and more than I probably deserve). The Boss man is off to paris for work for 6 days , but he is leaving Babe in charge, so I got the best person in the world to make sure I do as I’m told! for the rest of this weeks I’m under orders to rest, recover and regroup. I’m not allowed to answer any ‘work’ emails, unless it is 100% life or death. I am to do my daily routine as laid out by the boss man and nothing else. He’s adding in a few more Self care things. (listing them below) Next week , I am allowed to work but for 5 hours a day max. He has also decided that he’s going to find me a 30 day blog challenge as he feels that writing is something that really helps me deal with stuff . We are also going start getting ready for D-day (October 28th). Supper Excited to do that (making a list already!)

Self care tasks –

  • Make a list of activities and tasks that make you happy.
  • Make a list of anxiety triggers.
  • Make a list of people who inspire you.
  • Yoga everyday. (with Kitten or Babe)
  • Meditation everyday.
  • Make a calming playlist.
  • Plan Family days (Saturday or sunday)
  • Do something creative everyday.
  • Write a list of places , things and activities you want to try.
  • Meal plans for the next 3 days
  • Daily affirmation

So that is from my messed little head and this crazy little heart,

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x