Dance.

I draw the blinds, turn down the lights and pull a chair into the middle of the room. I pour a glass of wine, placing it on the table next to the chair. I find the right track on the Ipod and have it ready to play as soon as I hear your hand on the door knob. I check myself in the mirror one last time, adjusting my bra strap , smoothing my hair down and reapplying my deep red lipstick. Then I knee alt the side of your chair and wait.

After a few short minuets , that seem to go on for hours, I hear your car on the gravel outside. The door slamming , the beep of the central locking and then the crunch of gravel under foot.. Then the key in the front door, you foot steps coming down the hall and then so slowly it’s almost painful the knob of the door turns and the door opens.. I don’t look up, I stare straight ahead with lowered eyes, just the way you trained me, just the way you want me.

you walk over to the chair, looking down at me, you utter ‘whats this then little one? What are you up to mouse? I don’t remember saying I wanted you like this when I got home this morning, did I.’ Poursing for a moment, then you say in a firmer tone ‘ girl , look at me when I ask you something, what is this all about?’

painfully slowly , I raise my eyes to meet yours . Licking my lip and swallowing , my mouth having gone suddenly dry. I manage to get the words out in a husky and a hell of lot stronger than I feel, ‘I wanted to dance for you  ,maîtriser please let me dance for you?’ . I stare up at you with pleading eyes from the hard wood floor , that has started hurt my knees.

the heat of your gaze makes me sweat and my insiders squirm, waiting with hope and a lot more patience that I thought I would ever have. You reach down , you hand going in to my hair and I feel a none to gentle tug that brings me to my feet. You hand fastens round my neck , forcing my chin up and me to look in to your eyes. I shiver as a cold chill travels down my spin and I try to step back. You only pull harder and bring you mouth down on mine in a deep , possessive, hurried kiss. Letting go suddenly , in a near growl , you tell me ‘as you wish little one ‘ . Turning from me to sit in the chair , reach for the glass of wine and taking a deep swallow.

i sorter of to iPod , make sure I add in a little extra sway to my hips as I go. I turn my head and look over my shoulder at , with a coy smile, that I hope has the right amount of sexy in it. I turn to the iPod once again and hit play, no slow ranchy song or pumping, bump and grind for this dance, oh no. It is the heavy guitar and for full grit tones of kings of Leon for this girl.

As I turn to face you , I slowly sway my hips in time with music, reaching round I undo the clip holding my hair. Shaking out my red curls as I move closer to you , the smell of the sweet cinnamon and honey shampoo , closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and run my fingers from the roots to the ends , bundling the length over my shoulder. I trace my fingers down my checks , across lips, down my neck , tracing my collar , to the slopes of my breasts. I then turn my self so my back is to you, slowly undoing the tiny buttons on the front of my dress , I turn back to face , swaying and grinding my body in time to the music. with shaking fingers I push open the front of my dress and roll my shoulders , so the dress slips down to my waist , exposing my small creamy white breast, encased in your favoiut black lace bra.

I run my hand the sides of my breast , down the sides of my body, leave goosebumps in the wake. I reach my hips and my dress, I hook my thumbs in the sides and gentle shimmy out of it. being careful not to get the silk and lace of my dress court up on the heel of red patent leather pumps. I’m left standing in front of you in black lace bra, matching boy shorts and heels. I sway and strut closer to you , I’m so close now you can reach out a touch if you want. ‘ loose the shoes , sweetheart’ I hear you say .

So I turn my back to you, bending at the waist, and sticking my but in your groin. I unsnap the straps on my shoes, removing them and placing to the side of table. Then i feel your hands on my butt, as I Straighten up. Your fingers glide up the side of my body tracing the under side of my breast, your hands travel round to the clasp of my bra , with a well-practiced flick of your finger it undone. You gently turn me round and encourage me to carry on my slow dance, but at the same time you push the straps down my arms and pull the cups away, leaving my aching breasts and rock hard nipples on full display, less than a foot from you mouth.

Seeing the bulge in your trousers , I move nearer to you placing one Of my toned legs , between yours. I unfasten your tie and with shaking fingers I undo the buttons on you shirt , pulling free the hem from you waste band. I place one hand behind your neck and use the other spread your shirt wide open . I rise up and boldly thrust me breast in your face. Your catch a nipple in your mouth, sucking at first , then biting down on the over sensitive tip. Straddle you lap , rocking and grinding hard and slowly, felling you grow harder and more swollen as I go.

You hands are now rubbing against my lips , through the lace of my panties . Suddenly you urge me to stand , and hook you thumbs in the waist band, pulling them in one swift motion over my hips and to the ground . You growl ‘dance girl, my little cock tease a’ as you stand kicking your shoes of  , along with you socks.

Turn round I hear you moan, as I do so I hear the fly of you trousers being pulled down followed by the soft Humph of them being tossed to the side. I hear you pick up you wine, gulping it down in one and placing the glass back. All the time I keep up my slow, swaying dance then I feel you behind me , pulling me close , you cock nestling between the checks of my bum. I feel you loop you tie round my wrist, pulling my arms up and around your neck. I fell you roughly kissing my neck , your hands making a beeline for my pussy. Your fingers plunge in to my already wet cunt, you plunge them in side my hitting my g-spot , tofu thumb is on my clit , pushing hard in  firm circles .

Gasping and moaning , I beg to be load to come, your growl in my ear ‘ now girl, come now’ as you use a come hither motion on my g-spot. My knees buckle , as juices gush out of me , covering you hand, my thighs and hitting the floor. But you’re not going to let me rest are you, oh no. Your pushing me to my knees, forcing my head down in to the hard floor, your hand firmly on my neck. Next I feel you falling to knees behind pushing my legs wide apart. You use you hands to Guide you ramrod hard cock in to my tight whole. A feeling that always feels like your going to spilt me in two. Next you grab my tie bound hands and using them to pull me in to wide legged kneeling position. One hand pulls my waist and hips tight to your groan . The other pushes the hair away from my neck , so you can lick, suck and bite my neck and shoulders.

Now you push me forward again , face firmly planted on the ground, oh and your really fucking me. All the frustration of you hard-working week, the traffic jams and every ting thing that has been poured in to this. I begged to come and you give me permission to come all I want, but you don’t give in to your relieve yourself. I most of come 6 time before I feel your breathing and stroke changed. You push me down harder by my neck , and roar as you empty yourself into me, over and over.

You slum over my used little body and catch your breath. I whisper in a small voice ,’did you like your Dance maîtriser? Did I do a good job ? ‘

Gathering me in to you sweaty embrace  and whispering in my ear ‘ yes little mouse you danced beautifully for me, as you always do., I’m very proud of you,’ pulling tight to you chess’s , you clam my mouth with yours in a loving kiss and I feel you cock springing to life again. Something tells me it’s time for the next dance!

Masturbation Monday.

 

Masturbation-Monday-badge-1

 

Getting social!

Good evening Kinkies!

Just a little Pixie up-date! I now have a Fetlife account! I can be found here – Pixie Heart Blog. Still getting used to it but , doing ok-ish! So Come be my friend!

I’m also on twitter – https://twitter.com/PixieHeartblog

Also on facebook – https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100017854029220

So come find me and be social with me!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Ps – got a whish list too! https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/registry/wishlist/1PW44SWLT5CKA/ref=cm_wl_list_o_1?

The Diary of Pixie heart- 18/09/17 – 24/09/17

As instructed to, I’m sharing last weeks diary for everyone to have a giggle at! enjoy!

Diary: mouse

Monday 18th September 2017: 5.45am – So I am all wiggly and I can’t sleep, so I’m getting up! I will be eating toast and drinking tea on the sofa if you need me!
7.30am – I feel asleep again! Thank you for waking me up by shoving your cock in my face, no really, I love it when you do that!
8am – breakfast done, dentist phoned for Little bear, dishwasher done and now to sit down for a bit!
9.30am – I love the food network, but what the flip is going on with pioneer woman??? Like do her family only eat breakfast and cake?
10am – Dentist time with little bear. I can’t get her into clothes so she is wearing her sloth onesie and unicorn slippers, sorry I did try!
11am – My poorly girl has an abuse on the roof of her mouth! Ouchy! So, I have her antibiotics, soft food, and some nice juice. I will now tuck her up on the sofa and keep her safe!!
12.30pm – Little bear has decided that she ‘NEEDS’ butterscotch wipe and 3 bananas for lunch, so yes…. lol.
1.30pm – Thank you for are lunch time call and thank you for telling little bear she was being brave!
2pm – I’m doing writing! About spankings!!!
2.45pm – Afternoon nap time, I am a tired little pixie!
4.30pm – Blimey I was tired! Little bear seems to of perked up a little, antibiotics are amazing things!
5pm – Babe has come home and said she will cook. What did I do to deserve that as a treat!
6pm – Veggie fingers, chip and peas and sweetcorn. With sponge and chocolate custard for afters!
7pm – Thank you for helping me to have a bath, it is so hard to get in and out of the bath tub on my own and I’m fed-up of having bloody showers!
8.45pm – Family time on the sofa is great, but I’m horny, can I play with kitten please!?
10pm – THANK Your x x x x x x. I love playing with kitten’s nipples and pussy!
11pm – bed time story of pen of the damned, good move! Night sexy bum!
11.15pm – lights out and cuddles! X
Tuesday 19th September 2017: 7.15am – Blimey Riley! Tired little pixie again! That is the second night I slept right through. Little bear is still sleeping, bless the little thing. Got to get up, date with Uncle Fred!
8.30am – yes, I do still have to be up, dressed and making you breakfast before you get down in the morning. Yes, I must make your lunch, yes, I need to make sure you tie is straight and give you a kiss good bye. It is my job as your wife! And yes, I’m trying to pout, so don’t give the eyebrow!
9am – Little bear has just told me to sit down and drink my milk: o the family little is Doming me now!
10.15am – when the babies get here and I’m all held up, I am spending a whole week cleaning! Little bear did a good job and I’m trying to not micro mange her or go ‘you missed a spot. But me being me, I’m finding it hard!
11am- I no longer fit behind the steering wheel of my car! Thankfully Uncle Fred said he was happy to drive, I’m not sure I could cope with the bus or bear’s driving!
11.30am- Feeding the dunks is the best feeling ever! I get to be a kid for a bit and I feel free. Just don’t want to be an adult anymore!
12.15 – Squeak! Happy meal, milkshake and a Mcflurry! Spoilt!!!
1pm – Ok so I now officially heave everything I could need for the babies! And yes I got breast feeding stuff too!
2pm- Home to find 6 huge boxes from amazon. Seems everyone I work with has bought something of a baby Wishlist that Steve set up. My god this is awesome, don’t think I’ll ever need to buy nappies or whips ever! They even got the dogs new Kong toys and t-shirts!
2.45pm – Afternoon nap!
5pm – Welcome home kiss to wake me up! You old smoothie! And yes, I do still like you copping a feel while having a smooch on the sofa!
6pm – take out for dinner, cos I’m too tired to cook! Thank you, x,
7pm- Am I not allowed to take a shower on my own?! Thank you, nice to be hair free again and thank you for checking that my bits still work! 😉
7.45pm – Monopoly marathon, Bring it on Frenchie!
9.30pm – Little bear is blatantly cheating!
10.15 – Thank you for coming to bed with me, I’m a pooped pixie!
11pm – Ok I love this book! Oh, and I love you to Frenchie x x x

Wednesday 21st September 2017: 6.30am – Errrr! Its morning then? I’m sore and full of ouches! Can you come back to bed please?
7am- Can’t we just stay in bed?! But thank you for the cup of tea, bowl of bran flakes, pain killers and cooking mags, I’ll be ok in a min!
7.20am- Better and happy again!
7.45 – Yup did breakfast again!
8.30pm – Don’t you dare be late home tonight! Love you froggie!
9.30am – day time television sucks big time! Why would anyone want to stay home and watch television when this is the crap on it?
11.20am – So it now turns out that I need to take a mid-morning nap as well as an afternoon nap!
12.30pm – So I have just eaten for Britain! Good lord I have no idea how that fitted inside me!
1.30pm – Homes under the hammer is kind of cool!
2.30 – tired again, napping about to condense in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…….
4pm – Woken up by a dog vomiting and being the size of a baby elephant do not go well together! Spidie was being a flipping drama queen and mad eye tried to clear her sick up by eating it!
6pm – Dinner time and little bear cooked an amazing pasta, that had the right amount of chillie in it!
6.45pm – No I am not watching extenders , no you cannot make me do it!
7pm – really fed up now! Can’t get comfortable and I’m fixity 
8.15pm – Was not sassing you that much and kitten is made to be tickled! P but kind of happy to be sent to bed, I get little bear cuddles!
9.15pm – Yummy, you can take your belt to me like that any day! can we do more impact play after the babies get here? Well more play all round?!?!
11pm – Hehehe. Watching babe, kitten and little bear playing, with you sat behind me and your hands on my boobies was wonderful!!
12pm- are you going for husband of the year?! French toast with ricotta and figs!

Thursday 21st September 2017: 6am – Up early, got to get little bear to the dentist. If she gets just her crown put back in I will be proud of her!
7.30am- so dressed, in the car and on the way to the hospital It is too early and I already need to pee! Uncle Fred is a super star for driving us! (Must by him bear!)
8.30am- Well hear and they have given her a sedative. Crossing everything I have that she will be ok, cos I can’t go in with her 
9.45am – Well she’s out! My brave girl not only let them put her crown back in, put they have the 2 impacted wisdom teeth out and they filled the holes in her canines! She is rather stoned, so it’s straight home to bed with her!
11am- I have tucked little bear up on the sofa with her teddy bear and blanky! She had 2 glasses of water and one of milk, plus some painkillers. She was out like a light! I’m going to wash all the baby clothes now and make sure they are all ready. I know it’s silly but that is something I can do and not really get shattered!
12pm- Aunty May has just turned up with food and told me to ‘go sit down like a good girl’. Not that I mind her turning up with food or her fussing, but I can do light house work! could speak to her and ask her back off a little?! I love her to death, but sometimes I need a little breathing space.
1.30pm – little bear is awake and in pain  can’t let her have pain killers for an hour and a half, so I have sat her in the kitchen with me and aunty may. I hate seeing her hurting, tears me up inside 
2.30pm – sod it! Have given her some painkillers a little early and we are now camping on the sofa, with warm milk and chocolate whip. Going hopefully nap. Aunty may has decided she will cook tea and do the ironing, feel bad but she said little bear needed looking after more than the ironing needed doing, and she is right, as always!
4.30pm – ok so I did need a nap and little bear seems to be doing better. She wants mashed potato with cheese, baked beans, and green beans for her tea, so that is what may be cooking her!
5.45pm – I have sat down and got my taxes done! Yes, I know I have not exactly worked over the last 2 months, but their all nice and neatly done! Yes, I know only I get a kick out of having neat and tidy tax files, but hay bite me!
6pm – Nice touch Frenchie bring aunty may flowers! She really does cook like a posh version of my nana!
7pm- thank you for driving May home sweetie! I’m going to get little bear ready for bed and then going to take a shower with kitten. Hope you have a great time playing pool with babe! Love your x x x x
9pm- I swear these babies are sadist like their father, that or they are into water sports!
11.45pm – Ummm so yeah, I think you may have had a little bit too much to drink handsome! But thank you for the kfc kid’s meal! Little bear is happily scoffing popcorn chicken and yoghurt. Did you just buy it so she had a treat?!? I love you pookie! X x x x
Friday 22nd of September 2017: 7.15 am – Someone has a sore head this morning! Bacon sandwich and strong coffee in bed for you sir! and I can do that cos I want to and looking after you is my job! Then get that butt in the shower and dressed, cos it is family weekend time as of 5 pm!
8.30am- So yeah, I wanted you to stay home but …… Ok house cleaning time as best I can!
10.30am – Clean! It really is amazing what the 4 of us girls can get done if we all work together! I am now off to do food shopping with babe driving! If you get a call from the hospital saying I’m in labour, my nerves could not take it!
12pm – Ok food shopping done and put away! We are a dream team! Wow, can we get team boobies t-shirts?!?
12.30 – Now uncle Fred is well at it! Although he still lets me do stuff, are garden shelves are looking dope! He has made a massive loaf of soda bread, pot of soup and cherry pie! I get sad when he makes cherry pie as it was aunty Doreen’s fav, god I miss her!
2pm – Stuffed and tired, but my brain is saying ‘no don’t nap do the kitchen cupboards’. as a compromise, I am watching a Disney film with little bear on the sofa! Lol also why does are dog walker think it is funny that my dogs come back when called?
5pm – Umm yes, I did full asleep!
5.30pm – What is with you today? Text saying get bathed and in my pj’s and don’t worry about dinner, and that’s it!!! What the fuck!!!
6.15pm – Curry, ice cream and ginger bear! Ok I love you, did I say that before, right? Also, avengers and dry strange, you are the best person like ever!
11pm I stayed awake for the whole thing this time! Now teeth and bed!
11.10pm – We even get are bed time story!
Saturday 23rd September 2017: 6am- Errrr! Ok antibiotics are kicking my butt today! I feel sick, have the shakes and an upset tummy. Can I stay home?
7am – thank you so much for getting with babe and taking the hounds out so I can sleep!
9am – yup I’m dying! I have forced down some toast, my meds and Diet coke. Thank god for polos and Imodium!
9.45 – Ok I have to go shopping cos I need to buy stuff but all I want to do is sleep!
10.30am – ok so I now have a banging head ache and feel dizzy. Thank god for my kitty cat coming with me!
11.15pm – So kitten has an apple and blackcurrant and chips from kick. She has put salt on them and got me ketchup for them! I took pain killers and I now feel a little bit better!
12pm – ok I so manged to get the bus home!
12.30 – Little bear walking Bella, mad eye and boods up to the bus stop is adorable and meant so much!
1pm – squeak! Am I really allowed to put my Pj’s back on and go be little for the afternoon, really???
1.30pm – you got me unicorn colouring book and apple and mango juice!
3pm – I see you watching inside out, just come sit on the sofa silly head!
5pm – I have had the best afternoon in ages! Thank my love, I really needed that! Now I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner and grilled peaches with ice-cream for after!
6.30pm – Strictly come dancing, that is all that needs to be said!
9pm- thank for coming to bed with me, sorry I don’t want nookie and just want to snuggle!
11pm- girls are up, tucked in and bed time story read! Night handsome x
4.45am – Thank you for letting me get up and write. I have a bad case of the I can’t sleepiest!
7.15am – so I have had breakfast, taken my meds, and done my neb. I have even taken something to calm my brain the fuck down, I am now going to try a sleep for a little bit. I’m that tired I am feeling slightly irrational 
10am – Wow! I feel so much better for a nap!
10.30am – Why are we getting in the car and where the flip are we going!
11pm – Secrets! Yay!!!! Can I have fed the fish and ducks, please!?!!?
12pm- Soup, salad and bread is so the best lunch ever!
1.pm- can we get a turtle please? Or some Dalmatian mollies?
2.30pm – Why did you agree to let us go to a super market on a Sunday afternoon? I’m going to be brave but I don’t know if I can do this or the whole of the shop. If I get freaked out can I go sit in the car?
3pm – well I made it to the check out. Thank you for letting me go sit the other side of them and just chill out!
3.30pm – So I’m now cooking dinner with you, like I get to tell you what to do? Cripes that is so out of my comfort zone foggy! How about I ask you nicely to do stuff?
5pm- You will make a great chef one day! this is fun, can we do it more often?
5.45pm – NO! that is not how you carve a chicken! More of it is going in your tummy than anything else! Silly head!
6pm – Roast dinner, Boss man and mouse style!
6.30pm – Now you got little bear to wash up and do the dishwasher without moaning, what magic is this!
7pm – bath time!
7.30pm – Why do I have to go to bed? but ok!
8pm – Tots could be a spaceman you know!
9.30pm- Sleepy pixie now!
10.20- hot milk, with honey and nutmeg. Bed time story and cuddles, thank you for a fabulous weekend! Love you xx
11pm – light out!

 

so that was last week! what are all you lovely’s up to this week?

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

letter from Maîtriser.

So I have wanted to share this part of are life  for a very long time, but it is only now that Maîtriser agreed to me sharing we you all. I am a girl who loves letters, both writing , receiving and reading them. It is a way that myself, maîtriser and the girls have kept in touch over the years, before i joined the family . It is now a way that we talk to each other  when is something that we have needed to really think about. For Maîtriser it is a way to show how he feels and talk to us one on one. For Maîtriser and i it is are way of being soppy and loving , without everyone knowing! 

The is something about the written word that really moves me on a lot levels . It can calm my mind, insist my curiosity and excite me. I think it is one of the things that made me full in love with maîtriser, the way he has with words blows me away every day!

So I am sharing a letter he sent me a few months back, after I had a melt down and was being vile. I had taken on way to much work, was trying to be more than I needed to be and refusing  to ask for help. he left this by my the bed so I had it as soon as I woke up. (please bear in mind that I have translated this from French to English.)

Dearest little mouse,

Well what can I say little one you have done it again! I don’t know how one girl can get herself in to such a tizzy and that much trouble in the space of 3 days, but you some have done again! You know I have put rules in place for a reason, that I want to keep you safe and from harm, and that everything I do is done with love. It not only hurts yourself, but me as well, when continually put yourself down. You trust me and have excepted my guidance, yet you still don’t believe that you are worthy of being loved by people. Am I stupid or do you think you are beneath me? No , mouse you’re not. You’re my equal, my partner in crime and my special little one, who I adore.
You must understand that I am doing this so you see that you are worthy of being loved, so you can be all that you can and so you can stop these destructive thought and behaviour patterns. Unlike some punishments, I take no pleasure in doing this my love. This hurts me as much as it does you.
So, you know exactly what your transgressions are, I will list them, but keep in mind this not an attack, but is just me stepping in to look after my girl, ok sweetness?
• You put yourself down 17 times in 3 days.
• Your spoke with your mother, without myself or babe being with you.
• You allowed your sister to belittle you in church, by saying ‘oh she’s just a housewife’
• You refused to allow kitten to offer you comfort when she offered you a hug.
• You clean on Friday for 5 hours, instead of the 2 hours we had agreed
• You spoke in a raised and disrespectful way to your Aunt May and your friend Emit.
• You refused to eat dinner with the rest of the family on Friday and Saturday night.
• You ‘Forgot’ to ask for and take anxiety medication, when you needed it
• You went out and did not take your phone.
• You did not talk to me or babe when you were having a hard time.
• You were grumpy with little bear this morning and did not say sorry to her.
• You did not ask for help when you needed it.
It pains me to do this , but as punishment you are losing you free time for the next 2 weeks. You will be expected to let Babe or I know where you are at all times. As well I will be setting you a few goals that I want you to finish to a level that will make me happy and proud. We will be spending time as a family at home and at the open mic nights at the britaina, with the aim of getting you to relax and enjoy yourself. Billie will be coming 4 times a week for your English class instead of 2. also, you are to allow Kitten or little bear to help with your classes and admin. You are to give all 3 of the girl’s extra chores around the house. You are not to see your sisters, brother in-laws or nieces or nephews without me or to agree to Baby sit without asking me first. you are to shower with me every evening, your bedtime for the next 2 weeks is 10pm and you are not allowed out of bed in the morning 6.30 am. I want you to keep a food diary every day, do you pulse ox, peak flow and bs level 4 times a day. You will also be doing 4 training sessions with Steve, yoga every morning and swimming with me twice a week. You are to up your mindfulness exercises to 4 times a day as well. I will review this at the end of the 2 weeks.
Know that I only do this out of love little one, it is for your own good. You can’t see it, but you are suffering from trying to do too much for too many people. The is no shame in asking for help when you are struggling or for breaking down a little when things get too much. You do not need to be all things to all people. For now, I want you to take care of yourself, do as you are told and to make me proud, that is it, do you understand?
I will see you this evening little one,
All my love,
maîtriser X

Well hope you enjoyed it,

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Question time with the girls – Floss, from the ProudToBeKinky Podcast.

Ok so I’m stating now this is going to be a weekly thing and here be give (with the boss man pumishtion) the right to kick my butt if I start slacking off again! I really like doing it and I just need to bluck up the courage and asked people if they want to paly! So that is just what I did! (as my nana used to say you don’t get, if you don’t ask!)

So after being really bold (very un- pixie-like) I ask the wonderful Floss (Floss does life ), from the awesome ProudToBeKinky Podcast, run by herself and her partner, Bakji. I loving listening to their Podcast , so much so it has become my Monday morning ironing podcast that I listen to with my Great Aunty May . Who I add, loves it , thinks floss is a sweetie and Bakji is a dirty little sod, so I highly recommend giving them a listen!

So here it is,

1) Dom/ Sub or Switch, discus? (Babe) Switch! I came to the kink scene thinking I was submissive, I assumed sexual submissive equals D/s submissive. I eventually discovered I was more of a bottom and had a far more light-hearted and playful approach to D/s tha what I initially thought would be my approach. I had some unfortunate encounters when I first tried Topping though and decided it wasn’t for me, despite Bakji being openly switchy when we met. Overtime I became more and more curious about his submissive side, and with his support and encouragement my journey in FemDom was born and I’ve got to be honest, I absolutely love it. FemDom has allowed me to explore so much of myself, in ways I never could have imagined. In the right moment though I do still love a good subby session, so yep, definitely a Switchy Kinkster.
2) What or who is your nemeses? (Pixie) Right now? Futomomo’s. So a rope tie where you bend your knee so your heel is firmly against your buttock, calf firmly against your thigh and then you tie rope around them so they are tied into one little stumpy leg. They are so versatile and not actually difficult, but for some reason my brain hates all the ones I know how to tie and I’m never happy with them.
3) Describe your vanilla self in 5 words and your kinky self in 5 words? (Kitten) Oooh this is a good one. I totally want to steal this for the quickfire questions we do on the podcast. Although now I’ve answered it I realise it’s a really, really hard question.
Vanilla me in five words would be, Mother – Nurturing – Resilient – Deep Thinker – Worrier
Kinky me in Five words would be, Switch – Sadomasochist – Tease – Sensualist – RopeLover
4) If you could have one magic spell, what would it be and why? (Little bear) Magic cleaning like Mary Poppins had. I would love to just be able to just make everything clean and and tidy with minimal effort.
5) What would you do and not do for 5 million £? (All) I wouldn’t do anything that might cause me permanent, life changing bodily harm, anything that would put others in danger, anything that could potentially remove me from my child, or anything that would hurt or harm anyone I love. I would however do most things that don’t come under that category. Money talks for sure, and I am under no illusion that a huge sum of money like that could persuade me to do all sorts of things. What I’d really like to do for £5 million is become a Latex Queen with many Latex minions. This must include a crown and a throne.
6) Who is your favourite writer and why? (Little bear) Ooh tough one. Well mad props have to go to J.K Rowling, purely for the fact I am NEVER bored of Harry Potter. I also read her writing as Robert Galbraith and they’re pretty good too. I haven’t read all his stuff but I think Stephen King is an incredibly skilled writer. Also for fun easy reads I enjoy Linwood Barclay and Cecelia Ahern. When I’m feeling a little more kooky with high brain power I really enjoy Haruki Murakami.
7) Top 3 boy crushes and top 3 girl crushes? (Kitten) I’m going to go for celebrity crushes, just in case a real life crush reads this, I’m not that brave.
Boy Crushes – Kit Harrington – Nick Frost – The Rock (although I think we’re officially meant to call him Dwayne Johnson these days)
Girl Crushes – Ruby Rose (although she makes me hot whatever gender she presents as) – Ashley Graham – Kat Von D
8) What do you do for none kinky fun? (Pixie) Well most of my non-kinky fun happens with my little boy who is 5. We like going to the cinema, going to build-a-bear and lots of going to the park. When I’m on my own without a small human or a Bakji, I like to listen to audiobooks and I don’t watch much TV, but I have recently enjoyed the latest season of Game of Thrones, I also like Masterchef and the Great British Bake Off but we will have to see if I still like that now it’s moved to Channel 4.
9) What is the most embarrassing sex thing to happen to you? (Babe) Hmm … well it takes a fair bit to embarrass me. But earlier in the year Bakji and I were house-sitting for my Dad and his partner. They were due back at 6pm, so at about midday we started a sexy session. We’d brought over our repurposed gym bench that we use to restrain Bakji to and everything. We’d just finished a pretty intense scene, whips, restraints, lube and clothes everywhere … oh and cameras, because we are perverts who film ourselves. When Bakji went to get changed and noticed figured at the door. They had come back 4 hours early without warning. I answered the door and managed to convey we needed some time to gather ourselves together. Luckily I am totally open with my Dad, and him and his girlfriend thought it was hilarious. It was however mildly embarrassing.
10) 5 Places you want to go, but have never been? (all) Harry Potter Studio Tour – Italy, specifically Rome and Vatican City – Mexico – The Ice Hotel in Sweden – So many Kink & Fetish conventions across the world.
Silly question from Little bear:
Who is you favouriting harry potter character? I can only pick one favourite? OMG! That’s like asking a Mother to pick her favourite child, lol. I do love Hermione, I think she is really badass character. Smart, strong, brave and even rebellious but in all the right ways. She always picked just the right moment to reveal how totally kickass she was. I always enjoyed that about her.
Do you have a magic wand? No!! But I want one so bad! One day! I need a wand suitable for a Slytherin, as that’s the house I got sorted into. Apparently my wand would be Laurel Wood with a Pheonix feather core.
What super power would you like? Time travel. Or the ability to stop time.
Are you for or against pop tarts? For, but they have to be very specific flavours. I like chocolatey ones, not so keen on the fruit ones. Although when I was with my ex still we used to have cookies and cream pop tarts sometimes and they were amazing.
Best bubble bath, ever? I love things from the Body Shop, which is a really rare treat. I like things that smell fruity and they cater really well to that. I also really like the Sanctuary Spa products from Boots. We don’t have a bath at the minute though, only a shower. So I usually just try and buy a nice shower gel instead.

I have to say a massive thank you to floss for answering little bears questions , it made her dance round the living room in just her panties!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

The Diary of Pixie Heart – 28/8/17 – 3/9/17

Diary: mouse
Monday 28th August 2017. 4am – Home from the hospital. I’m sorry for falling down the stairs and sorry I frightened you and the girls. I frightened myself and I hurt all over  thank you for letting just go to bed and have cuddles.
9.30 am – blimey I hurt! Breakfast on the sofa, with cooking television is so good!
11am – pain killers and banana bread!
1pm – Emit has decided I need ‘looking after’ and has taken me hand! Not that I doubt it, but I swear my gay, subbie male friend is getting all Dom on me! But he made me cheese sandwich and cut the crust off, so I will be good!
3pm – I went napping without being told to! More sofa time and painkillers!
4pm – I’m being allowed to help make cakes. by help little bear means sitting and being good!
5.20pm – You’re going to the fish and chip shop, on your own!
5.45pm – Chips, pea fritters and curry sauce! And pudding!!!!
6.30pm- not happy you have to work all night, but sleeping in the living room is kind of you! Been safe and I love your x x x x
7.10pm- well that is one way to have a bath! I’m cleaner and clean thing, but little bear seems to think that even my ears needed washing!
9pm- please, please, please don’t make me must go see the new IT film please!!!
11pm – last pain killers and snuggle time.

Tuesday 29th august 2017: 6am – I so needed that sleepy! Up and at them, or so I thought! Get down to find Emit and babe are in the kitchen and I’m ushered on the sofa, fed given med, do my neb, and reading my book!
8.30am – Right midwife again! Everything is ok and I’m healthy!
9.45am – I’m sat down doing blog planning stuff!
10.30am – Ok cross mouse! Poor little bear has come home almost in tears cos some stuck up cow said her top was too low for someone with breast her size. She did cry a little bit , but also said then she also stopped and said she was not going to let it upset her! Can she please have a reward sticker please?!?
12.30pm – Lunch time. Emit is forcing me to eat cheese!
1.30 – Email time! Cripes , how do I get so many stupid people not getting that I’m on maternity leave?
2pm – Nap time! I am snuggling with emit cos I can’t sleep on my own today!
4pm – Oh God No! how could I not of relished that I have a fecking training committee meeting!!!!!
5pm – Little bear is cooking dinner and it is looking good!
5.45pm – I love getting my welcome home smooch! Thank you, x,
6pm – Little bear did good! She can make pasta and sauce all on her own! So Proud of the girl!
7pm – Commtie meeting time! Wish me luck!!!
9pm – Oh dear god! Why can’t this be over already.
10pm – Ok I just used the phrase ‘as head trainer I’m saying that we are not using out of date methods and we are not going to use @” $%!” £”! as a guest trainer!’
11.15pm – Bed, cuddles, sleep! Night Frenchie! X x x x
Wednesday 30th August 2017: 7.15am – I slept late! Thank you for letting me get up and make everyone’s breakfast! Emit is off in London with people from Uni. But I have Uncle freed coming to be with me!!!
8am – YAY, I’m allowed to do house work!
9.30 – Washing done, kitchen cleaned and beds made! Uncle Fred Is here now, so I get to go buy food!
10.30am – Hell how much meat can you buy for £40 !!! better still he minced down 4 kg of chicken carcases for mad eye!
11.30am – Yay we have a full stocked kitchen now!
12pm – Oh dear god I have missed lunch with uncle Fred lunch dates!
1pm- Dinner prepped, tomorrow ready to go and rabbit rage on the stove!
2pm – Nap time!
3.30pm – Rude awakening from Mad Eye jumping on me and sitting on my face! Little shit! Might as well try and write for a bit, cos the dogs seem to want to hold an afternoon nap party in the bed!
5pm – yay I wrote for like a full hour none stop! Dinner is looking and smelling deli scouse too, I can’t wait for you all to try it!
5.30 pm – So I made namb bread to go with dinner but me and kitten are eating it now with pickles and chutney! #sorrynotsorry
6pm – Dinner is served! Lamb shank madras, with rice and side thing!
6.30pm – I have never seen the dogs so excited to be given left over bone! Ps yes, I did see you get Jordy and spidie chicken wings, you softie!
7.20pm – Closed door bath with muscle soak and a glass of cherry aide is so nice thank you!
7.45pm – Pooped pixie is off to bed to do bloggy stuff and to watch MasterChef with kitten! (I’m getting to old for
9.30pm – So all us girl have come to bed and you playing on the Xbox, god we are so rock and roll! Lol I have 7 blogs post scheduled though so kind of proud of that
10pm- I flagging big time here, so babe is doing a bed time story and we are all turning in!
2am- Fulling asleep on the sofa is not the done thing old man, can’t carry you up the stairs, but I can snuggle up with you on the sofa! Love you Frenchie! X
Thursday 31st of august: 5am – thank you for not shouting at me for coming down and snuggling with you, I can’t sleep without you now.
6.30am – oh god the luxury of doing house work this early is So nice! Dishwasher on, washing on, living room clean, oven cleaned and downstairs bathroom cleaned!
7.30am – Breakfast done and cleared away! Now scoot and get that cute French but in the shower mister! *tries to do a bossy wife stare and fails*
8.45am – I did not need a shower, I was not dirty or sweaty! But hay I needed to come so, yay for showers! Right all in the car for work!
9.30 am – that’s you all off to work and I’m early for my English lesson!
11am – I got 20/20 in my spellings, Go Mouse!
12.30pm – Lunch in a pub with aunty may and the catholic lady’s guild, what could go wrong! Keep your phone on buster, I might need you!
2pm – I feel yucky Frenchie, chesty and weary.
3.30pm – My ears are really hurting now me and I keep going dizzy 
4.15pm – Something burst up my nose, so I phoned the dr going straight down now!
5pm – Chest, ear, and sinus infections. Bad dehydration and I’ve lost weight  home iv antibiotic, pain killers and total rest 
5.10pm – got back to the car and broke apart! thank good for babe, phoned her and she did no more than left work, walked to the doctors to drive me home. having stopped to get me mango and apple juice and lentil crisps.
6pm – bathed, in pj’s and take out for dinner ordered!
6.30pm – dinner was nice, but now I want to go to bed please?
7.45pm – bed and cuddles with my kitten! Love are little family!!
9pm – My neb is not helping as much 
10.30pm – Going sleep, exhausted!
4.am – sorry I woke you all up with my coughing, neb seems to of calmed it down a little,
Friday 1st September – 7am – I’m up but exhausted, so I promise to stay on the sofa!
9am – uncle Fred has come to sit with me. I hate morning tv and I hate feeling this poorly!
12pm – feeling bad now!
1pm – dinner from Deliveroo for lunch!
3pm – all I have done today is watch tv and slept. I feel like a beached whale!
5.45pm – little bear has been posting pickoff me sleeping on twitter again!
6pm – I feel bad that kitten so having to cook dinner 
7pm – bath and dinner in bed!
9pm- It’s getting worse and it’s hurting can I go get checked at A&E???

Saturday and Sunday – I was kept in hospital as it turned out I was pretty poorly. I’m on oxygen, Iv fluids and antibiotics, with a monitor on the babies. I’m fighting very hard and getting better all the time, but it’s going to take a while 😕.

i’m laying in a hospital bed trying to be a brave little pixie , but I’m frightened , lonely and missing home. I know I’ll get to go home soon and know I’m in the best place. I know that this is something I have to do and will have to do again , but it does not get any easier! I’m just frightened, worried and just so tired!

Pixie x x X X

From the heart, it’s been a tough week!

So this week has been really tough going for this little pixie poo! You know when you have so many thing going on, some really Big Frightening growed up things! Add in some really emotional stuff and not sleeping to good, but having to Adult and get shit done , and well I’ve been a very needy and wanty little pixie as well!

One of the biggest things I have had going on is my mental health and being pregnant. Not so much my actual mental health, more the management of it . A number of weeks back I asked my cpn for more help . Well I have got the help I need and I can not sing the praises of my Cpn and the cmht. But the is an on the flip side a little bit of a downer. Social services had to be told that I was having a relapse of my depression. They then had to go through a risks assessment proses to look at whether I was / will be able to cope when pea-nut and raspberry get here. Now don’t get me wrong , this has been upsetting and stresful in its self,  but I was happy to go through it. Growing up I lived with a mother who worked every hour god sent, out of choice, who in later years we found out is an alcoholic. My daddy, who I love with my whole hear,t suffers with bipolar disorder. Now when he was on meds he was amazing. But when he was off them, well it was not fun. I have seen him so low he has hurt himself and even found him O.D once. I have also seen him so manic he has had to be held down to be sedated. no child should ever have to see this. But my dad also when ill, seemed to want to take his frustration out on someone, and that person was me. now if back then the mental health and social services had stepped in , maybe I would not of had the crap kicked out of me and just maybe I would not be quite the mess I am today. (I’m not moaning , it’s made me strong and who I am!) So knowing that social services are on the ball has also been a sort of comfort. Well as of Thursday lunch time , I can say that I no longer have to worry about it as I got the thumbs up and a green light as being ok to be a mum! Saying that I do have a low mood , but I taking steps to deal with it in a proactive way. That I have a tight and supportive family , who are helping and that will step in and call for help if needed!

This week I have also had to deal with the (hopefully) last thing to do with my ex. He went to prison for rape and aggravated assault against me. But last year he was charged with more assaults and sexual assult of a person under the age of consent. I had to go to the police station and answer questions about it but they found that I had no knowledge of what he had been up to. (Trust me if I had known I would of gone to the police myself) . It went to court and he was found guilty of all charges, and on Wednesday he was hand more time in prison. now this is the odd part on my side, I want , no needed to go see him being sentenced. I guess I want to go prove him wrong that I am loved , that some one would want to have babies with me and show him that his not broken my spirt!

It’s not been a total nightmare of a week though. My best friend Emit (I have like 5 best friends) has come over for a 3 week visit from the states! he has just broken up with his partner of 18 years, and wanted some place where he could just get over it and not have people trying to set him up on dates all the time! its been so nice having him here, we are both very sierra. His Submissive, love musicals and is almost as ocd about cleaning as me! not that this will sound fun to anyone but me, but we spent 3 days just tidying the bits I can’t do on my own. He gets on with the girls and they love he to pieces. but the best thing was him saying, that he likes the boss man and that he thinks his been really good for me!

I have also got myself a little more organised re-blogs and writing . I have cleared a space to write and have some quiet time. I have got a list of things I want to get done before babies turn up and what we still need to get! I have also started to feel like the yucky gunk of depression lifting a little. So on the whole it’s all good!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x