My morning routine.

Right, first day of punishment and the first thing Maîtriser wanted me write about is my morning routine in depth. He wants me to list and explain all the little bits and thing I do. He wants me to realise how much I do and wants me to see if there are some things he or the girls could do, so here goes…

My day starts between 5.30 and 6:00 depending on how well I slept and if the babies have been up a lot in the night.

It normally starts with the 3 b’s (boob, burp and bum). I then get dressed for yoga and wash my face and put on mousteries.

I do a 15 neb and cough to clear my chest, then its down for 30 mins of yoga, focused on balance and core strength at the moment.

Depending on how much sweat, I get dressed, do my hair and make-up then wake maîtriser up with a cup of coffee and blow job. If I am really sweaty, I wake maîtriser up with a blow job, then we shower together and dry off.

I will have my hair washed by maîtriser which then gets wrapped in a towel, while I moustrise. I ask maîtriser what perfume I should put on and what make-up, then I dress maîtriser before I dress in whatever cloths he has picked out for me.

I go down stairs and make breakfast for myself and ask if I can get anyone else anything. I make a pot of coffee and a pot of tea. I also make sure that the paper is in maîtriser accustomed place. When he comes down, I sit down and eat breakfast, read or chat with the girls and take my breakfast time medication. Afterward, I set the girls chores for the day.

Then I wake the babies and give them their bath, dress them and bring them down stairs. I settle them in the living room and put radio 4 on for them… don’t judge!

If the girls have loaded the dishwasher and left the kitchen tidy, I spend forty-five minutes loading the washer, putting on and wet washing to dry and folding what is in the dryer. I then sweep and mop the floors down stairs and check if anything needs straightening up.

It is then that I will sit down and do emails, social media and read blog posts. If the girls stay asleep I try to write for a bit or catch up on my English stuff or reading that Bobbet has set me. If the girl wake up I will check if they need feeding, nappy changing or just want to cuddle.  By 10:00 am I’m ready to move on to the next lot of chores or if aunty May or uncle Fred are coming over I will but the kettle on and find the cake tin!

Blimey, looking at this, I do a fair bit first thing!

I could ask maîtriser if I could wake him before I do yoga and he could make his own coffee. I would really love if he would lay my clothes out for me the night before and ask that he towels my hair dry in the morning for me… (as a treat) Also if the girls are up they could make the coffee and tea, lay the table and get the paper.

Well that is my mornings for you all to go WTF!

Hugs,

Pixie

Dance.

I draw the blinds, turn down the lights and pull a chair into the middle of the room. I pour a glass of wine, placing it on the table next to the chair. I find the right track on the Ipod and have it ready to play as soon as I hear your hand on the door knob. I check myself in the mirror one last time, adjusting my bra strap , smoothing my hair down and reapplying my deep red lipstick. Then I knee alt the side of your chair and wait.

After a few short minuets , that seem to go on for hours, I hear your car on the gravel outside. The door slamming , the beep of the central locking and then the crunch of gravel under foot.. Then the key in the front door, you foot steps coming down the hall and then so slowly it’s almost painful the knob of the door turns and the door opens.. I don’t look up, I stare straight ahead with lowered eyes, just the way you trained me, just the way you want me.

you walk over to the chair, looking down at me, you utter ‘whats this then little one? What are you up to mouse? I don’t remember saying I wanted you like this when I got home this morning, did I.’ Poursing for a moment, then you say in a firmer tone ‘ girl , look at me when I ask you something, what is this all about?’

painfully slowly , I raise my eyes to meet yours . Licking my lip and swallowing , my mouth having gone suddenly dry. I manage to get the words out in a husky and a hell of lot stronger than I feel, ‘I wanted to dance for you  ,maîtriser please let me dance for you?’ . I stare up at you with pleading eyes from the hard wood floor , that has started hurt my knees.

the heat of your gaze makes me sweat and my insiders squirm, waiting with hope and a lot more patience that I thought I would ever have. You reach down , you hand going in to my hair and I feel a none to gentle tug that brings me to my feet. You hand fastens round my neck , forcing my chin up and me to look in to your eyes. I shiver as a cold chill travels down my spin and I try to step back. You only pull harder and bring you mouth down on mine in a deep , possessive, hurried kiss. Letting go suddenly , in a near growl , you tell me ‘as you wish little one ‘ . Turning from me to sit in the chair , reach for the glass of wine and taking a deep swallow.

i sorter of to iPod , make sure I add in a little extra sway to my hips as I go. I turn my head and look over my shoulder at , with a coy smile, that I hope has the right amount of sexy in it. I turn to the iPod once again and hit play, no slow ranchy song or pumping, bump and grind for this dance, oh no. It is the heavy guitar and for full grit tones of kings of Leon for this girl.

As I turn to face you , I slowly sway my hips in time with music, reaching round I undo the clip holding my hair. Shaking out my red curls as I move closer to you , the smell of the sweet cinnamon and honey shampoo , closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and run my fingers from the roots to the ends , bundling the length over my shoulder. I trace my fingers down my checks , across lips, down my neck , tracing my collar , to the slopes of my breasts. I then turn my self so my back is to you, slowly undoing the tiny buttons on the front of my dress , I turn back to face , swaying and grinding my body in time to the music. with shaking fingers I push open the front of my dress and roll my shoulders , so the dress slips down to my waist , exposing my small creamy white breast, encased in your favoiut black lace bra.

I run my hand the sides of my breast , down the sides of my body, leave goosebumps in the wake. I reach my hips and my dress, I hook my thumbs in the sides and gentle shimmy out of it. being careful not to get the silk and lace of my dress court up on the heel of red patent leather pumps. I’m left standing in front of you in black lace bra, matching boy shorts and heels. I sway and strut closer to you , I’m so close now you can reach out a touch if you want. ‘ loose the shoes , sweetheart’ I hear you say .

So I turn my back to you, bending at the waist, and sticking my but in your groin. I unsnap the straps on my shoes, removing them and placing to the side of table. Then i feel your hands on my butt, as I Straighten up. Your fingers glide up the side of my body tracing the under side of my breast, your hands travel round to the clasp of my bra , with a well-practiced flick of your finger it undone. You gently turn me round and encourage me to carry on my slow dance, but at the same time you push the straps down my arms and pull the cups away, leaving my aching breasts and rock hard nipples on full display, less than a foot from you mouth.

Seeing the bulge in your trousers , I move nearer to you placing one Of my toned legs , between yours. I unfasten your tie and with shaking fingers I undo the buttons on you shirt , pulling free the hem from you waste band. I place one hand behind your neck and use the other spread your shirt wide open . I rise up and boldly thrust me breast in your face. Your catch a nipple in your mouth, sucking at first , then biting down on the over sensitive tip. Straddle you lap , rocking and grinding hard and slowly, felling you grow harder and more swollen as I go.

You hands are now rubbing against my lips , through the lace of my panties . Suddenly you urge me to stand , and hook you thumbs in the waist band, pulling them in one swift motion over my hips and to the ground . You growl ‘dance girl, my little cock tease a’ as you stand kicking your shoes of  , along with you socks.

Turn round I hear you moan, as I do so I hear the fly of you trousers being pulled down followed by the soft Humph of them being tossed to the side. I hear you pick up you wine, gulping it down in one and placing the glass back. All the time I keep up my slow, swaying dance then I feel you behind me , pulling me close , you cock nestling between the checks of my bum. I feel you loop you tie round my wrist, pulling my arms up and around your neck. I fell you roughly kissing my neck , your hands making a beeline for my pussy. Your fingers plunge in to my already wet cunt, you plunge them in side my hitting my g-spot , tofu thumb is on my clit , pushing hard in  firm circles .

Gasping and moaning , I beg to be load to come, your growl in my ear ‘ now girl, come now’ as you use a come hither motion on my g-spot. My knees buckle , as juices gush out of me , covering you hand, my thighs and hitting the floor. But you’re not going to let me rest are you, oh no. Your pushing me to my knees, forcing my head down in to the hard floor, your hand firmly on my neck. Next I feel you falling to knees behind pushing my legs wide apart. You use you hands to Guide you ramrod hard cock in to my tight whole. A feeling that always feels like your going to spilt me in two. Next you grab my tie bound hands and using them to pull me in to wide legged kneeling position. One hand pulls my waist and hips tight to your groan . The other pushes the hair away from my neck , so you can lick, suck and bite my neck and shoulders.

Now you push me forward again , face firmly planted on the ground, oh and your really fucking me. All the frustration of you hard-working week, the traffic jams and every ting thing that has been poured in to this. I begged to come and you give me permission to come all I want, but you don’t give in to your relieve yourself. I most of come 6 time before I feel your breathing and stroke changed. You push me down harder by my neck , and roar as you empty yourself into me, over and over.

You slum over my used little body and catch your breath. I whisper in a small voice ,’did you like your Dance maîtriser? Did I do a good job ? ‘

Gathering me in to you sweaty embrace  and whispering in my ear ‘ yes little mouse you danced beautifully for me, as you always do., I’m very proud of you,’ pulling tight to you chess’s , you clam my mouth with yours in a loving kiss and I feel you cock springing to life again. Something tells me it’s time for the next dance!

Masturbation Monday.

 

Masturbation-Monday-badge-1

 

DOH!

So when I emailed the awesome Mr John Brownstoneand asked him if he would do question time for us , the was a slight miscommunication. He thought we wanted questions to answer and we meant for him to answer! Belive me its a very common  with me and emails! So he sent us awesome questions, but we sent him some and sorted it out (Question time with John Brownstone (aka the Wood Dude) ). But the Boss Man read his questions and sort of told to answer them as a ‘Home work’ sort of thing. Well babies, falling down the stairs and hospital got in the way , but I have at last done them and here they be!

With so many members in your household, how do you manage alone or personal time?
So yes, alone, and personal time can be a bit of a flash point. For personal time with each other, we kind of break it up in to 3 areas. First and most importantly we have a family date day / night once a week. That is the time that we spend quality time with each other, phones off, no talk of work or school, just us all together doing something. Lately We have been doing a lot of day trips to museums, art galleries and cinema outings, oh and the is always food involved. Then the ins are weekly ‘Girl Dates’. Which pretty much says it all! Us girls go out, have a giggle, and enjoy some time away from the house. Lol if alcohol is involved one of us stays sober. If kitten is drinking we must keep an eye on her cos she wanders off and finds some place to take a nap (boots of cars, under a table, the cupboard under the stairs). Then we have been dates with the boss man. These are weekly and are normally 3 hours long. We get to pick something we want to do. Little bear normally asks to go out for a milkshake or to the cinema. Babe always wants to go out for beer and pool or a poker game. Kitten likes sporty things, so for her it rock climbing or swimming. Me well I like going out for breakfast and to the bookstore.
As for alone time, well we have a couple of rules that keep thing working. If a door is shut, knock, and wait for an answer, if you get come in, then you can go in. no answer or go away, you leave them alone. For the rest of the time doors are always open and anyone who wants to come in can. Lol that’s why I always cook massive meals, cos I always end up with more people than I think I’m feeding! Babe and Kitten are allowed as much free time as they want. Little bear tends to want to be with someone most of the time. For me, well I get 1 hour of free time a day. That 1 hour of free time was a birthday present from the boss man, after 12 months of not hurting myself and sticking with therapy. I will also get extra free time as a reward. It will sound silly, but when I’m allowed a 20-min bath on my own with the door shut, I know I’ve really earnt it!
Is there a hierarchy between you all (obviously Bosman is in charge) but say do you defer to babe, or little bear defer to you or are you all in some ways equal?
Yes, so the Boss man is the one in charge, but if he is not around it’s babe who is left in charge. But apart from that us girls are pretty much equal. None of us see each other as a second or lesser partner. We all have areas of family life that we are responsible for. Babe is sort of in charge of fixing thing and cars and gardens. Kitten is the family Admin / office girl. Little bear is head of the cheer squad and planning parties and anything fluffy. I run the house and look after anyone if they are sick. We play to are strengths! I think one of the things that keeps everything running smoothly is that we all use good manners. We always use please and thank you, ask before we touch each other’s stuff and we don’t really do swearing or shouting. We also all kind of know that the Boss man will only ever do or say stuff for our own good, but that we can ask questions, if we are polite and respectful. We also kind of have a family meeting once a week and that is where we can raise problems, worries or peeves!
• The Boss man added to this ‘For the love of god do not even think of letting little bear be in charge! We would spend ae time in onesies, eating pop tarts and watching Disney!!

I don’t remember if I asked this before (I know I did ask how you met everyone else) but how did you all come together as a family and was it difficult to have everyone come together and work as a family.
Hmmm that is a long story, so I will try to keep it brief! Kitten met the boss man when she was a young newbie on the fetish scene. (he was only like 33 then!) she was trying to deal with some demons and he was guy who would look out for her and look after her. I met kitten at uni and we dated when I split up from my bf (later my husband, a-whole). She took me to meet her ‘fetish’ friends and he sort of took me under his wing. As time went on kitten became his sub, but he still acted as a sort of protector for me. (this is where I say I was so jealous of kitten and of what she has with him. I also had a huge crush on him and wish I had said many years ago. I love you froggie!). We all new Babe, not as a sub, but as a very Dom mistress who was married to her male sub. But he cheated on her (TWAT) and poor babe took it hard and almost lost everything. So, the boss man offered her his spare room and some safety. But after a night of heavy drinking and sex (his very good at getting in a girl nickers) Babe asked to be his sub. We all stayed friends, but I kind of drift away a little. I was working hard, in a shitty place with my love life, and my health was not great. Well to cut to the Chace, my husband raped and beat me up badly, I went bonkers and tried to kill myself. Lucky, I fucked it up, but I was in a bad way and in hospital. That is when They all kind of swept in to look after me for a while. Well after a while I kind of started fucking the boss man, that lead to playing with the girls, then it turned a little kinky and snowballed. I’m Going to state now, that the D/s side of things had been there from pretty much day one, just not formal. The collar came 6 months in and I will also say having the boss man in my life has been life changing. I’ve got through the hardest, lowest, and most awful stuff with his help. Him and the girls lived together and I wanted to be with them, but not wanting to move to London, they all moved in with me. (I own my home and live 30 mins from waterloo by train) A few months on little bear came timbering into are lives! She was a sub we played with, who we all loved to pieces, who’s boyfriend worked over seas a lot and who was barely getting by. Well we had a spear room and it just made sense. She paid a little rent, did chores, and went to school. When her boyfriend was in the UK, he stays with us! But it soon turned to the D/s when she wanted to play with us more often and her other half suggest she could maybe be the Boss man’s sub and his Baby girl. Tis some very complex arrangements, but it works for us! Lol my Great Aunty May says, we are all little broken and falling apart, but we helped each other to put arises back together.
I believe I saw you mention in an earlier blog post that you also meet other people outside of your family. What rules do you all have for meeting others and playing outside of your family?
Oh this is a fabrication question! Yup we have rules round this, very much so! Firstly, we can ‘play’ with who we want, if the Boss man approves of them and trust me he is very fussy about who play with! The girls must let him/ us know where they are, with who and what they are doing always. They must practice safe sex always. They are also to keep their collars on always. For me it’s different, as I’m married to the boss man. I don’t play with anyone outside of the family unless I have the boss man with me. Lol he loves watching and telling others what to do to me so it works well that, that is one of my fav kinks! But are ‘Family’ is not just the boss man, me, and the girls. We have friends we have all known for a long time and we play with at home. us girls are all bi and love women a great deal, so we have a fair few ladies who will join us. Kitten and I have 3 mistresses that we can be subbie with (if the BMW is with us!) same goes for us all with sub flames. Babe has a couple of male sub pets that will come stay with us at times. all of us have other guys we like fucking as well. If we not some alone adult time, we have spare rooms and the girls can go play there. We also have Adult sort of ‘Sleepovers’ where we have people over, play and fuck and then have breakfast together. The Boss man also lets all of us go out ‘on the pull’, on are girl dates. Basically, we go out, get off with guys and or girls and then take their numbers. Kissing and groping is allowed, but no more. When out like that we are not allowed out of sight of babe and if drinking one of us stays sober. I guess what it boils down to is that we can do what or who we like, if we ask first and don’t hide it from each other!

Hope you enjoyed!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

The Behaviour Modification of Pixie Heart (AKA fixing my broken brain)

 

So a few weeks ago the epic Kayla Lords and John Brownstone’s Loving BDSM Podcast was on positive reinforcement, a subject that is very close to my heart. It is something we use every day at home, but we also use a whole host of conditioning tools, classic and operant conditioning, to Premack and Counter conditioning, with a big old dose of CBT thrown in to the mix for good measure!
I make no apologies for the fact that I suffer from extremely complex health problems, both mental and physical. I have after a lot of therapy, got to a point that I will talk openly about my mental health problems. I think I must a point that I relies that I don’t need to be ashamed by them. Some I have had all my adult life and some are because of being in a violent, abusive relationship for most of my adult life.
So, this is where I fully out my mental health problems, buckle up this might take a while. I suffer from Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), which is a disorder in which a normal worry to a normal person, to me is Debilitating. It also means that my body has a heighten reaction to stress and worry. I have very serve depression as well, that at its worst has left me house bound and struggling to get out of bed, wash or eat. coupled with this I have extreme phobias and suffer from panic and anxiety attack, that at one point I would have up to 15 a day and again left my unable leave the house. (I am agoraphobic). Then after being raped and nearly beaten to death, I started to suffer from Extreme PTSD, coupled with dissociative episodes. This is still very hard to talk about, but what I know is that it affected me to the point I made a good attempt at ending my life, but my darling kitten found me just in time. (love you baby x). I also suffer with quite bad dyslexia and AADD, both on the AS range.
Well I had been living with all that, well not living sort of existing. But then around 2 years ago something inside changed, I wanted to start living and enjoy my life again, but I needed to make some pretty big changes, but I knew with the help of my darling master I could do it. But I also need to us to use technics that I knew worked and were based in fact and logic. This is where people think I’ve lost the plot on stuff, but bear with me. I work as a dog trainer and behaviourist, I use techniques such classic and operant conditioning all the time. I know it works and it is based in since. It works, I have seen it work, so I decided to run with it! (Adding here that I had the help and support of my therapist on this)
So, we came up with to encourage better mood and motivation using +/- reinforcement. We also decide to tackle destructive thought patterns, that lead negative behaviours, such as putting, hiding my feelings, and self-harm, using +/- punishment. +/- reinforcement, and +/- punishment comes under the banner of operant conditioning and is based on the research of B.F Skinner. Basically, it is the concept that Good consequences encourage repeat behaviour and Bad consequences discourages repeat behaviour. Positive reinforcement, is adding something in to increase likelihood of a behaviour being repeated. Negative reinforcement is removing something to increase the likelihood of the behaviour being repeated. It’s the same with punishment, but instead of increasing the behaviour it decreases the likelihood of it being repeated. So, what the boss man did was got to make reward charts. One for everyday house hold / work stuff/ Homework, like answering emails, food shopping and Doing homework. I also had one for Personal care and D/s stuff. At the end of each day if I get sticker on each of my charts for getting all my ticks, I get a £1 in my Treat money box (it has UNICORNS on it) I can also earn extra stickers and £££ by being extra good, or brave or for doing stuff without being asked. Those stickers can be given to me by the boss man or Babe. At the end of the month I can open my tin and spend the money on whatever I want or carry on in to the next month for even big rewards at the end of the next month. if the is something Massively stressful going on or that is going to take a lot of time to get to, I get rewards along the way and a big goal reward. I should add here that for me rewards are not gifts or treats. A lot of the times they can hugs, item spent as a family, extra free time or not having adult for the rest of a day. For punishment for things like hiding stuff or self harm, I lose my free time and privileges. This does not be loss of time as a family or time with the boss man. If I need comfort or support from him or the girls and I actively ask for that help, I get rewards for that! For putting myself down (which is the biggest thing that the boss man wants me to change) I either get made to write a list of 20 things I like about myself or good stuff I’ve done. Or I have to buy small gifts for 5 friends, write down what I said and then write a list of 5 reasons I’m awesome. (Sir Beasty came up with that idea)
The next thing we started using was classic conditioning. This theory is…

We used this for My panic and anxiety attacks. The biggest thing we did, and this was my CPN’s idea, was trained one of my dogs as a phytologic support dog. She is very laid back and calm, which flitters down to me. she has also been trained to notice my triggers and pull me away from them. So, she is my calm, by having my calm with me I start to identify that having her with me meant I was safe in the places. Also having her with me I have learnt to enjoy new stuff, like being in a group situation or talking in public. We also taught me to have safe places go when I feel the start of an attack coming on.

The next thing we used was counter conditioning to Help me with my Phobias Counter conditioning is basically Changing the emotional response to feared stimulus. For me some of things I fear (Phobias) like being seen necked by a partner and eating in public. For the being naked I got calm gentle encouragement to remove clothes and got to see that the more I show, the more sexually excited the boss man got. For the eating in public started with a calm relaxed pixie, sitting with people calmly eating, then to me having a drink with people eating, and then finally me eating with them.

Then we used one of my favour tools ever! Premack, this is a principle that to get the good reward you must do the less rewarding this first. basically, eat your veggies and you get to have ice cream! This for me is a great motivator. We used It when I was finding it hard to leave the house. If I walked to the gym I got to have a cuddle and training session with Steve (my hot personal trainer) if I went to the super market I got have a hot milk and a ginger bread man. If I went to a hospital appointment I got to have a happy meal afterwards!

The next thing we worked on was breaking bad habits. You will be really shocked to know that I have habits that drive the boss man up the wall! Like leave my car keys on the kitchen table, not tidying away my Lego or colour stuff or hooking the dogs lead on the banisters, so with gentle polite reminds from the boss man and the girls I stop doing the bad habits and start to use the desired good habit. Hanging my keys up, putting things away when finished playing with them and hanging dogs leads in the porch. It is said that it takes 28 to create a habit, and 3 months for that habit to become a behaviour, and you know, for me at least it’s true!
The last big thing the Boss man got me to work on is something I don’t openly talk about, but he thought I needed to include it, as it is a huge part of who I am. So here goes. I’m dyslexic and due to this I find reading, writing, and understanding incredibly hard. I’m not stupid, very far from it. But it does mean that I struggle and find things like reading complex letters, filling in forms, or writing emails that make sense, hard. It also means that I find getting and staying organised hard. I also have a form Of ADHD known as anxious ADD. It basically means that when my anxiety or stress levels are high, my brain kind of seize up. I can’t function, I get angry and frustrated, I come across as rude or aggressive to people. It also means that I have trouble judging peoples tone and meaning, so I find communication hard. With both it means that I find sudden changes to my routine or things happing unexpected knock me for 6 and I will and do sort of shut down.
The biggest thing I must deal with this are rules, limits, structure, and routine. It makes me feel relaxed and safe. Babe has helped me to learn to plan things out, so the is less stress of not knowing what is going to happen when. I have a detailed diary and household planner. Being a creative person it’s all brightly coloured, with sparkles and stickers. Anything written in them in pen , happens no matter what. But if something is written in pencil, it can be rubbed out and does not have to happen. The only people who can write in these are Myself, the boss man and Babe. Although I tend to get little notes from little bear and kitten, saying Boobies or I love you. I also get time outs. I know it sounds a little tot and like I’m a child, but again it works for me. I have two type. One is for when everything gets too much, it is given by Babe or the Boss man. I get sent to my quiet space (aka the box room). With no tech, know talking and sit and calm down. Babe or the boss man will come and check on me 20 mins later, and if I’m calm or crying I get cuddles and can then carry on with my day. I then have time outs that I give myself if I feel panic coming on. I will politely ask to leave what every situation I’m in. I will get my iPod, a drink, and my book, find a safe quiet spot, and calm myself down, before I end up in full on panic. When I feel better I re-join the family and carry on like nothing has happened. But I also have my little space that I go to when I just can’t cope. I will ask the boss man if its ok to and he then sort of takes over thinking for me for a bit. It is the only time that I do 100 % of what he says , without being able to ask questions. It normally involves activates I find calming, such Lego, colouring being read to or watching a Disney film. But it also involves lots of cuddles and reassuring words. The best bit is when I get sleepy and I get to take a nap with kitten!
So that is My/our take on behaviour modification, and how it has helped me. It’s a very personal take on it, but it is what works for me. I’m doing so much better than I was two years ago. I’m happy, steady, and doing things that I thought I was never going to be able to do again. It’s made my relationship with my Dom even more close and special. Its’s not for everyone, but it’s what works for this little pixie!

Question time with John Brownstone (aka the Wood Dude)

So the girls and I have been on the hunt for whiling victims to take part in are question time , but no body was fourth coming. So we made a list of people we wanted to interrogate, put them in a hat , pulled out a name and sent them an email asking if they might be up for playing along with our fun and games… Well that person was the awesome John Brownstone, Daddy and Dom to fabulous Kayla Lords, and Co-Host of the Loving BDSM community and Podcast. Guess what , he only went and said yes. So here  is his grilling !

Question time with John Brownstone (The Wood Dude!)
1. What do you know about your family tree and your heritage? (Babe)

I know a fair deal about my family tree actually. My father migrated to the U.S. from Heidelberg, Germany in 1956. His Father died when he was very young and he has three brothers. On my mothers side her mother and father were born in Chicago, my great grandmother and great grandfather immigrated to the U.S. from Italy. From Chicago my mom’s family moved to Brooklyn, NY and then eventually to upstate NY where she met my dad. My mom has one sister and I have more cousins, second cousins, nieces, nephews, etc then I can shake a stick at.

2. What does the best complement you have ever received? And the best one you have ever given? (mouse)

The best compliment I ever received  was from an long distance sub I had a number of years ago. She was my sub for a little over a year and then one day she just vanished. I didn’t hear from her for a year and a half but when I did I cried from what she told me. At the time she was my sub she was going through some very rough times in her life and when she contacted me it was to thank me for everything I did for her and taught her. She said it was because of the things I did with her that she realized she had to put on her big girl panties and take charge of her life. She got out of a bad relationship and moved to another town and got her dream job and was doing well and moved on with her life and was even thinking of starting her own business. She told me that with what I had taught her she found the strength inside herself to move forward and be someone and she was sorry for just disappearing but she know she had to do it on her own.   Best compliment I have ever given someone? There are times when Kayla’s anxiety is showing its face or she doubts that she can do something. I will look her in the eye and tell her “I believe in you, you can do this.”

3. What is your great strength and weakness? (kitten)

My greatest strength is that I want to learn, I am eternally curious about things and people. I am always reading, watching videos and diving into the thing I want to learn about. My greatest weakness is that at times I will procrastinate on certain things, like the new faucet for the kitchen sink. I bought it a month and a half ago but have been dreading crawling under the cabinets.

4. What is your dream pizza combo? (little bear)

I LOVE pizza. My all time favorite is Brooklyn style pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms. I could eat a whole pizza by myself if I were left to my own devices.

5. Top 5 kinks and why you like them SOOO MUCH!?

(all) 1) Rope, I love rope not only for the ability to bind someone but the closeness and intimacy it gives. It is a slow process that allows one to spend some time with the partner. 2) Electro play, more specifically Violet wand. I was at a munch and they were doing a demo of one and I was just entranced by it. I got to try it out on a sub there and I was thrilled with her reaction to my fingers as the sparks danced over her skin. 3) Orgasm denial. The begging, I love bringing Kayla right up to the very top of the peak and then stopping. Doing it over and over while she begs for her sweet release. 4) Floggers. About 6 (maybe more now) years ago I read the Gor series by John Norman and floggers were frequently used in throughout the stories. SO when I had the chance I jumped on it to learn how to use a flogger and what I love about it is that it can go from being soft like a massage to stingy with the flick of the wrist. 5) Canes. I do love using canes and wish I had more chance to use them fully. Kayla can tolerate them when she is deep in subspace but I have always wanted to use on on someone who truly loves them as well as I do love the marks they leave.

6. What is the best, worst and most bizarre meals you have ever eaten? (little bear)

Oh dear, I still haven’t been able to forget this. When I was a kid our family was invited to a dinner party. The people hosting the party were Italian and most of the food I loved. There was something going around the table and some was put on my plate and I was told I should eat it. I took several bites and started to gag, it wasn’t till much later I found out what it was. It was Tripe, cows intestines….never again!

7. If you could have one super power, what would it be and why would you want it? (kitten)

I would like to have Aquamans powers. I’ve never been a good swimmer and the ability to move through water at a whim and then walk on land would be neat. Also to be able to communicate with fish and animals of the ocean would be cool.

8. How long have you been in to kinky fuckery and how did you get in to it? (Mouse)

Back in 19282 I was briefly married and we both had the spark of kink in us. I used to love tying her up using anything I could improvise. The marriage only lasted a year and I put anything kinky behind me as I blamed that for the demise of the marriage. Many years later I was surfing the web and came across some BDSM sites. It awoke my kinky feelings and then I embraced them and started learning all I could about the lifestyle.

9. Have you or would you ever take on a submissive role? (Babe)

When I came across the sites during my web search I also ended up in a number of BDSM related chat rooms. Not knowing much about the lifestyle at
that time from seeing the ways the Doms acted in them I didn’t think I had a Dominant bone in my body. So for some time I was an online submissive to a Domme for almost a year. It turned out to be a good thing actually as being on the sub side I learned a good deal and when I discovered my Dominant side I had a solid idea of both how to and how not treat a sub. Would I take on a submissive role now? Possibly, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two but it would have to be someone I knew and trusted very well.

10.  Marvel or DC comics?Who is your fav super hero and why?

Marvel comics and my favorite superhero is The Hulk. I like him because he has two sides to him, the mild-mannered doctor and then the raging Hulk. Even when he is in Hulk form he still knows right from wrong and uses his great strength to go up against evil.

Silly questions from Little Bear (Who was very much in need of food when we did this list!)
Where do you stand on cheese?

I have yet to meet a cheese I don’t like. Colby Jack, Sharp Cheddar, Muenster, Gorgonzola, Mozzarella, Parmesan, Romano, Harvati, Feta, and Blue Cheese. Bring them on, I love cheese.

Why is the sky blue?

The sky is blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light, unless of course it’s sunset then it is red or orange. Kind of glad it is blue as a red or orange sky all the time would seem odd. Plus blue is a good color.
Can you do a handstand? There is only one way I am capable of doing a handstand and that is while in a swimming pool, otherwise it’s not a pretty sight.

Where is the treasure buried?

The true treasure is buried within.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

I believe I have seen a ghost. My great-grandfather had just died several days before. It was late at night and a terrible thunder-storm had rolled into the area. I heard a noise outside my room and I got up to look. My room was at the end of a long hallway and at the far end there was a chair. I saw what looked to be a transparent figure of my great grandfather sitting in the chair. I wasn’t afraid and I stood there for some time just looking at him. Then a big flash of lightning lit up the hallway and when it was dark again he was gone.

We all want to say a huge thank you to Mr Brownstone! (Thank you is in the post 😉 )

Hugs,

Pixie, Babe, Kitten and Little Bear

What we have learnt from loving Bdsm’s 30 days of D/s?

So Today , well Tuesday was the last day of Loving BDSM’s  30 days of D/s. So it means no more daily emails , No more breakfast debuts and no more think about the D/s side of things, oh wait yes the will be, cos that is one of the things I will take away from the whole 30 days. The talking and think about stuff that is.  so I’m going to list what I / we have learnt from this.

  • what we all feel about are D/s relationship
  • What all of are kinks are and why we like them.
  • What we all want to try out, in and out of the bedroom.
  • That we all have hard limits that are off-limits.
  • That we as a family are really lucky and have a very strong bond.
  • That we are all very open to bring more people in to are family , wether as play partners or as a protectors.
  • That us girls are very open about are life style , but that we chose to keep it in the shadows.
  • That we are really good at supporting each other and communication is something we are really good at .
  • That us girls can’t be serious for more than 20 mins before one of us starts giggling.

On a really personal note , its been pretty epic for me. I did not sign myself up for this and truth be known I was not really that happy when I was told by the boss. I was trying to blog or write when I got a spare half hour here and there. but this has made me sit down and write every day, by just taking an hour. I have or had a really heavy work load, but by sitting down every day to write I have found something that I like doing and that I think (omfg I can not belive I’m saying this) I am quit good at. I have also loved the fact are little family sits and talks about stuff that means stuff to us. In a world full of war, famine, disease and politics, I sometimes start to feel overwhelmed by life. But having something that is deep and meaningful to talk about at dinner or breakfast other than Donald Trump or The general election , well its been kind of fun. It has made me talk about my ex as well and yeah, the were tears when I did , but I feel like it has put a lid on him and that I really can start to enjoy being happy. It has made relies , just how much I love the boss man and my girls. That what I have with them is what I need to have to be happy and strong. But more important than that it has started to help me be comfy in my own skin, and that is something that means so bloody much! it has also shown me that, yup we don’t really do sensible , we love talking and that we are a family of silly head!

So I want to say a huge thank you to Kayla Lords and John Brownstone , for coming up with 30 days of D/s , its been epic, fun , thought-provoking and just what I needed!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

PS – Aunt May asks ‘Did one of you write school text books or the such?’ lol She always has to have the last word.

Dynamics

So this is nearly the end of my Loving BDSM 30 day’s of D/s journey… Does that sound as corny as it does in my head?! So this evening we sat and debated the subject of dynamics within are D/s relationships . It was actually a really in-depth discussion and in many ways I feel its made all of us see that the way we live and how much we care for each other, is not the norm and is not for everyone, but it is also healthy for us, we all take so much from it and for us it’s what we need and very much want. so instead of writing everything we talked about , cos we were talking for like 3 hours and that would take forever, you’re going to get a little bit about each of us, are role in the family and how we get treated as such!

maîtriser, aka the Boss man –  Dom to all of us girls. (poor sod!) Head of the house hold. sadist with a genuine care for are mental and physical welfare . Care giver who has is rules and will punish for any breaking of them, but fairly and with a hell of a lot of creativity. Calm , charming and polite. lastly husband and daddy to be, still getting used to the fact that this time next year he will have 2 screaming bundles of joy! (sorry i should put puke bucket warnings at the start of some posts)

Babe – Sadist Switch, who has a Sub side. She is maîtriser second in charge, who looks after people when they need someone who will fight their corner! Friend , lover and tea making expert . The one who will push button and limits to get the best out of you. has a sweet girlie side that she will show when she trusts you. I will also add that she lives up to the name ‘Babe’ on so many levels.

Kitten – Sub with a masochist streak. she is the one that we all turn to when we need to ‘talk’. the deep thinker of are little family and the go to when I don’t understand something. (why do they do that?) optimist , forgiver and head cheerleader. Always finds a bright side to things even when others can’t find them. For me She is the 2nd biggest love of my life, my best friend and my partner in crime. She my tag teaming partner and my pole dancing buddy. I would take a knife or bullet for without thinking about it, I love her to death!

Little Bear – masochist Baby Girl of the group . Massive tendencies towards Brattyness , but only because she is either anxious or wants to be punished! The one who will go to the ends of the earth to make people smile and laugh . The one Who always has a sunny out look on life and the one who bounces around , being silly! My number one cuddle buddy and my little space buddy! She also , in a way is the person who got me to say out load that I wanted to be a mum and the one I get to be a mother hen a fuss over, I simply adore our little bear.

Me , Pixie aka Mouse or little mama – Well I am Sub, masochist, littleish and housewife of the family. I can’t do pouting, stropping or being demanding , well not really, it just makes me feel odd. I am the one who keeps people organised and on track. I guess I could take house hold management to a different level. I am the pain slut of the group ,  it is my thing! (hmmm Pain!) I’m the one who is happiest making the rest shine and look good , who will sit quietly on the side lines. I am the one who love looking after people and the one who finds it hardest to show that I have a weak side, hell it only in the last few months that I will actually let people look after me when I’m sick! I’m the one who struggles with people saying they love me , with being told that they are clever or pretty or enough. i guess I’m the one with low self esteem and very little conference , but I’m also the one learning to let myself be loved and cared for. i guess I’m saying that I’m just me , little old Pixie!

Well that’s us then! last thing i will say , i was made to write the bit about myself as part of the on going ‘Punishment ‘ thing. Selling myself or say ‘oh i do this well’ is something that i really find hard to do. Lol i have to get Babe to write my CV for me , if i need to send one to a prospective client or with an article i have written or to people I’m going to be lecturing for. Self worth and i have what i would say is a strained relationship!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x