The diary of Pixie Heart – 29/5/17 to 4/6/17

So here is my diary from last week! it seems to mainly be about babies, food and fucking , but that seems to be what my life is full of at the moment! Hope you enjoy and have a giggle at my what I call ‘life’. lol

Mouse’s Diary:

Monday 29th May 2017: 5.30am – I have woken up feeling very needy and horny. But after last night’s telling off I don’t know if it’s ok to wake you up or not L Going with it being ok or a least that telling you is ok?!?!

6.30am – Right choice mouse! Got a shag and cuddles! Hustled straight in the shower with little bear and told no touching!

6.45 am – out shower to find my green fern print playsuit, matching pink bra and panties, and pink cardia laid  out waiting. Babe is on the case of trying to get my hair to coaptate and doing makeup!

7am – Pills taken, neb done, bs level 4.1. Breakfast made for me, by you. I had fruit and yoghurt, two slices of whole grain toast and a boiled egg. Reading to Aunty May.

7.30am – Walked belle, on lead for 45 mins. Puffed out when I got home. Cuddled on the sofa with kitten and watched the news. I still feel daft that I don’t understand it allL

8.45am – Home work time! Thank you for sitting with me and helping me with it. I get lost with it sometimes, but I don’t feel silly when you help me!

10.45am – Snack time – glass of milk, two breadsticks, a carrot, stick of celery, 5 radishes and 3 tbsp. of hummus. Back to writing a blog post.

11.55am – Thank you for letting me do the laundry. I know I must take it easy and rest up, but I also love doing the cloths washing, I find it calming!

1pm – BS level 5.2. Lunchtime. Grilled cheese sandwich, tomatoes, and spinach salad, with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Bananas and custard!

1.45pm – Walking at the park. Aunty May stayed home with Little bear as her tummy is still poorly. Its’s so lovely  here. I wish we could stay. I really don’t want to go home and face my family in a few weeks!

3pm – Ok afternoon snack of an ice cream and strawberry sundae rocks!

3.30pm – Nap times with Kitten and little bear! All tucked up and I was out like a light in under 5 mins, tied little mouse! Proof you really do know what’s best! Love you x x x x

4.45pm – Yay I get to cook with my little bear! Thank you, I do love cooking for the family and if the bear helps I feel like im teaching her something that is useful and worth while!

6pm – Veggies lasagne, salad, garlic bread for dinner and apple pie and ice-cream for pudding!

7pm – Bath time with Kitten! Clean jammies, slippers on and munch made! Time for DVDs in the family room (We need one of these when we move!)

9pm – Why has Aunty May gone to bed at 9 in the evening? Why are you looking so smug?

10.30pm – Ash so it was Subby practice in the living room you had planned, was it?! Ok So super fun, I was brave and a good girl! Cuddles with Kitten are the best and Babe and Little Bear got some serious freak on!!!! So, I’ve got my neb to do, meds to take and then bed time!

11pm – Bed time and story time. Bagle and hot milk for this mouse and sleep!

Tuesday 29th May 2017: 5.45am – Ok so Fitbit said I slept right through the night! So, I woke you up for a cuddle, cos well I need one! BS 4.3

6.15am – Up meds taken, neb done and shower time with babe. Come out to find my new black satin boy shorts and bra layer out. As well as my blue jersey knee length dresss and my red converses. Babe gave me boxer braids! Wearing a little bit of makeup and my contact as requested!

7am – breakfast time. Scrambled eggs, flat bread, tomatoes, spinach cheese and chillies. With a glass of OJ on the side. Blimey Babe can cook breakfast!

7.30am – Oh bum in a jock strap, English with Bob, really!

9am – Great doctors, again! I know I need to and I must but, I bloody hate it. But then I get to go to work with you J

11am – You told sir beasty on me L oh well working in your office and the view is great. I had a chocalet and banana  protein shake for my snack is that ok?! I also had some almonds! BS 7.4

1pm – Lunch time. Grilled cheese sandwiches, soup, salad and fruit and yoghurt. I’m eating like a baby dinosaur!

1.30pm – I have just noticed the is a lock on your office door!!! Can we, please……

2.30 pm – Ok so really can we please do something?!?! PLEASE!!!! BS 8.2

3.30 pm – See I told you no one would notice and that it would make you smile! But thank you for putting me on your desk and making it all about me, I cannot tell you how much I really needed that! It’s like I feel like I’m going to exploded! Ok so I will be a good girl and curl up on the sofa and nap like a good girl!

5pm – Blimey big man! I was tired! Home time! Can we do the bus?!?!

6pm – home. Aunty May mad veggie stew and dumplings. Delicious!

6.45pm – quick tidy up and freshen up, in to my new red tea dress and off to, where are we going???

7.30pm – Open mick!!! YAY! No singing of JB though, please!!!

9pm – ok you do know I’m getting funny looks being sat on your lap, right?!?

10.30 – Pizza on the way home, Yay!

11pm- Bedtime stories when you tipsy are fun! Thank you for everything about today!

 

Wednesday 31st May 2017: 6.20am – Woke up full of beans! So, can I go take Bella for a walk now?! BS level 5.2.

6.35am – well that was nice! Thank you for having a shower with me! Also, awesome outfit. Batman panties, Red maxi sundress and sandals. No bra. 😉 Hair in a messy bun and make up. Oh, and thank you for letting take the hound out on my own!

7.20am – Lovely walk with Bella and I did not even stop for bagles!

7.30am – Yay! Aunty May made soda falls for bredie!

8am – OMG! Your letting us go to the zoo, all the little off shoots of the big zoo!!!

9am – Ok I hate having to get buses in the UK, but I can do them here, why is that? I also love the fact that men get up and offer me or aunty may a seat!

10am – ZOO!!!

11.15am – Ok had 2 scoops of ice-cream and a banana as snack! Baba said it was ok!

1pm – Lunch time – Cheese salad sandwich, soup (leek and potato), apple and banana. Little bear got told about meeting people next Friday and pipped up in the lunch cue ‘Do I need to take condoms to meet them’ What the flip does she think we going to be doing?!?!?

3pm – So sorry I made Babe ring you. I just worried about missing my afternoon nap. So, I have decided at of the 3 options given, that I will go to bed and hour early. Little bear said she will come with me so I don’t have to go on my own! I had a 2 apples, cheese, and oat cakes for my snack!

5.30pm – Yay! Getting to meet you from work is ace and with all of us is epically ace! Bus home is quite fun and you smooth for caring Aunties May’s bag!

6.30pm – Mexican food and ice-cream for dinner! Bus level 8.5

7pm – I can’t do the Xbox, it makes no senses! Thank you for letting me curl up on the sofa with my book.

9pm – Bath time with the little bear!

9.30pm – Teehee! We have not been in bed all together like this in ages, well not this early! Can we play please! Bagels and cream cheese for bed time snack

11pm – 69’s, dildo’s and fucking from behind! What an end to a fabulous day, thank you x x x

12pm – So why does little bear always want to ‘chat’ before sleeping?! Oh, and remind me to get you to have a word about her wanting to wear a onesie to dinner next Friday!

Thursday 1st june 2107: 6am – Well that was a good nights sleep! Hustling me out of bed this early is not a pleasant way to be woken up, but yeah we got shit to get done.

6.20am – Well what do you expect if you’re going to make me shower with you! I will not let part of you go to work not clean 😉 Green shift dress with a white cardia and brown salt water sandals. Love my gravy bra and panties with daisy on them. Light makeup and hair pinned up at the front.

7am – So getting up too Little bears breakfast is always interesting! Ok she did good. Fruit salad with yoghurt, bran flakes and toast and jam. BS lee 7.4

7.45 – So babe packed my bag and snacks. I have veggies, oatcakes, and dip for this morning. I half a peanut butter and banana muffin and half a white chocolate muffin for this afternoon! I have Everything I could possibly need and yes, I have my water bottle!

8.15 – Ok so I am pregnant and a girl but why can’t I carry my laptop bag?! Oh, I forgot you’re in charge and it’s a man thing right! Love you and yes that was me sassing you!

9am – Yay! Office and studio time! I really could be your PA you know, I’d be a good girl and everything……

10.30am- When to get you coffee, found the breakrooms secret freezer, it has frozen yoghurt lollies, having on top of my snack!

11.30am- I’m off to get lunch. I have google maps on my phone, I have the instructions in my head and for safety I have yours and sir beasty’s number just in case!

12pm – this deli is amaze-balls! First place ever to not looking at me like I’m bonkers for wanting a cream cheese, beetroot and coleslaw sandwich on rye and they sell 7 different type of pickles!

12.20pm – Aww we are having a picnic on your studio floor!

1pm – Well now I know that the door locks and you get extra horny after a big New York sandwich. Also, I have a feeling that’s why I’m wearing a dress. Can I blow you under a sound desk later if I behave!?!?

3pm – I have 6 more slides to do and I’ve finished these bloody presentations. But for now, snack, milk, and nap time!

4.45pm – I was a tired little mouse again! Thank you for the wake up of a kiss and a cup of hot chocolate, the babies thank you! x

6pm – have I started wudderling?! Thank you for carrying my laptop bag and holding my hand J

6.45pm- Why do men keep giving up their seat for me? they don’t in the UK! But sitting down and having you lean down kissing me and rubbing my tummy is nice. Oh, and fyfi I think that people get said bump is your handy work, but if you need to make sure know then, ok! More than happy for you to push my dress up, my panties down and for you to fuck me on the bus if you need ;). pizza for tea, again. Salad and fruit and yoghurt as well!

7.30pm- Bath time with babe! She shaved my pussy for me, see that is why  I love living with women!

8pm – Jammies on and family game of monopoly, we are so rock and roll!

10pm – I swear little one cheats, or tries  to! Good plan in making Aunty May banker. Babe offering sexual favours for Mayfair be the way is not fair!

11pm – apple and cheese before bed time story is delicious! Can we do pen of the damned catch up over the weekend?! Tuck in and sleep! Bus level 6.4

2.35am – Bad dream about the twat! Thank you for letting me have cuddles and sleeping on your chest is going to help! X

Friday 2nd June 2017: 5.45am – Waking me up for breakfast now yes, I will sound grumpy but it’s nothing personal. Getting down stairs to find you made me breakfast and even used my special cup, melts me in to a puddle oh warm goo! Sitting and going through the times online and explaining things to me J

6.20am – Today I will be wearing batman panties, blue t-shirt bra, care bear t-shirt and a denim pinafore dress. With daisy converse pumps. Hair in a messy bun and light make up, but full on red lipstick. (are you going for the Lolita look babe?!) Bus level 4.1

7am – Ok so I am sat writing reports for clients and vets, before 9 am. I’m sorry but I was SOOOO board!

9am – total mood crash! Can I just stay home today, cuddle on the sofa and watch DVDs please L

10am – I can’t make the skype thing work on my laptop and I want to talk to sir beasty! L

10.30 – want to make buggers for lunch and use the grill, but its big and bloody scary! Babe is reading the instructions. I had 2 apples with maple syrup as my snack today!

11.15am – well that’s not fair! What do we eat for lunch now!?!?! Oh, and what do you mean only men touch the BBQ or Grill food on it?!?! Can Aunty may use it, she’s a grown up!

12.30pm – So I’m eating bread, cheese, apples, and ready salted crisps for lunch! Can we have buggers tomorrow? Please!!!!

1.45pm- We are off to Jersey City, Baby shopping!

2.30pm- dear god! Why , oh why did we go in the first store we found! Bloody woman was like oh your big for 15 weeks, are you sure! no, I’m just saying it and really, I just ate all the pies! then she stared tiring to sell me a $550 breast pump, I’m mean WTAF!

3pm – Ok gender-neutral baby gap shopping has made me simmer down!

3’30pm – So not home for nap. (asked babe if she will drive home and I’ll sleep in the car) hot milk and donut for afternoon snack!

5pm – home, dinner prepped and ready to go! Bus level 5.6

6pm – Veggie tagin, cuscus and green beans and tomatoes. Thank you for bringing apple straddle home for pudding!

7pm – We must go out more! Oh, fuck it I am loving family board games and DVDs, even if it means I’m old! And thank you for Indiana jones!

11pm- I did not fall asleep on little bears lap, I was merely checking for light leaks! Bagles, cream cheese and cucumber for bed time snacks are my fav! Story and tuck in time. X x x x x

Saturday 3rd June 2017: 6.45am – Wow I slept late! Feel little today, can we stay home and do stuff?!? Oh yeah got to go in to the city L

7.15am – ok I love these cut offs, thank you! Mini mouse panties, black push up bra (my boobies look obscene!) Green camisole and blue cardie. Light make up and hair in a ponytail. Bus level 3.6

8am- breakfast at the diner! Hash browns (3) grilled tomatoes and mushrooms, 3 eggs scrambled and whole grain toast and strawberry jam. glass of milk and 2 glasses of water! I’m going to go pop!

9am – thank you for letting use go by bus and not driving! I like to get the bus here!

10.30 am Yay! I love looking at art with little bear, she asks questions and I can answer them! Hot milk and donuts are a huge bonus!

12.30pm-  Bs level 7.4 . Salad and bread, with French dressing. Banana for afters! Going for a walk by the river after lunch will be nice.

2.30pm – Bs level 6.2. See that walk got my blood levels down! Now dress shopping for Friday! Yay, thank you for saying no to onesies and lb for Friday! Can I kiss kitten and touch her boobs in the changing room?

3.30 pm – bus home! Aunty May is a legend for getting 4 men to get up for her and the girls. But getting to cuddle on your lap is more fun! Sleepy though.

5pm – How am I asleep on the sofa? We were on a bus!

6pm – ekk! Take out and horror DVDs!

7pm – Ok how much food can I eat in one day! 3 slices of pizza and a massive blow of salad! Oh, chocolate cake and ice cream, go on then!

10.30am – so I feel asleep again! What is wrong with me! Ok jammies on and bed, yes boss man!

11pm – Ok horny now, need sex please! Yes, I am going to be bendy, yes, I’m flashing my butt at you and yes, I’m teasing Babe! What you going to do about it big man;)

1am – holy mother of fuck! I am so going to tease like that again. All 4 of you holding down and doing all that, oh dear god! All I’m saying is I’m not going to be able to walk the morning!

Sunday 4th June 2017: 7.30 am – blimey, not slept that soundly in ages! Housekeeping shower and yes, your cheeky sod I am clean Everywhere now! Change of clit and nipple bars to rings. Blue bra and panties. Red floral tea dress, brown sandals with a blue cardie. light makeup and hair in a bun. Bs level 3.2.

8.15am – Breakfast: two raisen and cinnamon bagels with butter and honey. Banana with yoghurt and glass of OJ. I swear I’m eating for the whole of the family, not just me and 2 growing babies!

9am – Ok we are going to Mass, you promised and we are going. So, stop telling me what you’re going to do to me, comb your hair and put a bloody tie on! *pouts and stamps foot*

9.45ama – will you please behave! We’re moving here and I would like to be able to go to mass without the priest thinking I’m some sex starved maniac!

10.30m – Well thanks for that! You nearly made me squeaky in front of a group of very posh housewives! Knob! Yes I called a knob, what you going to do about big man??? Oh, and I had cake as my snack!

11.30 am – oh dear lord! so I have now defiled 3 churches in 3 countries!

12.30 – blimey I am so hunger, again! Soup, bread, and massive salad! Bs level 6.7

1.30 – Walking Bella here is so much nicer than the UK. Thanks for coming with me. your right an hour is the most I can walk without getting puffed out, we may need to look at getting a walker nearer D-day!

3pm – Dinner is in and cooking, smoothy made for snack and I have changed out of my dress and put my t-shirt on (well yours!) can little bear have a nap with me?! Promise to sleep!

5pm – See told you I need sleep and that we would be good! Time to make pasta!

6pm – ok so duck rage works so well and it is so easy to make! Pasta with tomatoes, mushrooms, and feta for me!

6.45pm – bath time with kitten and we can have a soak!

7.30 – I do not get this Xbox obsession and I can’t play it either, so thank t you for letting me do colouring with little bear! Oh, and please stop topping aunty may’s sherry up! Knob!

9pm – Bed time snack of cheese and crackers, veggie sticks and dip and a yoghurt!

11pm – Bed time story, cuddle and then lights out! Night handsome x x x x x x

Love and hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Dynamics

So this is nearly the end of my Loving BDSM 30 day’s of D/s journey… Does that sound as corny as it does in my head?! So this evening we sat and debated the subject of dynamics within are D/s relationships . It was actually a really in-depth discussion and in many ways I feel its made all of us see that the way we live and how much we care for each other, is not the norm and is not for everyone, but it is also healthy for us, we all take so much from it and for us it’s what we need and very much want. so instead of writing everything we talked about , cos we were talking for like 3 hours and that would take forever, you’re going to get a little bit about each of us, are role in the family and how we get treated as such!

maîtriser, aka the Boss man –  Dom to all of us girls. (poor sod!) Head of the house hold. sadist with a genuine care for are mental and physical welfare . Care giver who has is rules and will punish for any breaking of them, but fairly and with a hell of a lot of creativity. Calm , charming and polite. lastly husband and daddy to be, still getting used to the fact that this time next year he will have 2 screaming bundles of joy! (sorry i should put puke bucket warnings at the start of some posts)

Babe – Sadist Switch, who has a Sub side. She is maîtriser second in charge, who looks after people when they need someone who will fight their corner! Friend , lover and tea making expert . The one who will push button and limits to get the best out of you. has a sweet girlie side that she will show when she trusts you. I will also add that she lives up to the name ‘Babe’ on so many levels.

Kitten – Sub with a masochist streak. she is the one that we all turn to when we need to ‘talk’. the deep thinker of are little family and the go to when I don’t understand something. (why do they do that?) optimist , forgiver and head cheerleader. Always finds a bright side to things even when others can’t find them. For me She is the 2nd biggest love of my life, my best friend and my partner in crime. She my tag teaming partner and my pole dancing buddy. I would take a knife or bullet for without thinking about it, I love her to death!

Little Bear – masochist Baby Girl of the group . Massive tendencies towards Brattyness , but only because she is either anxious or wants to be punished! The one who will go to the ends of the earth to make people smile and laugh . The one Who always has a sunny out look on life and the one who bounces around , being silly! My number one cuddle buddy and my little space buddy! She also , in a way is the person who got me to say out load that I wanted to be a mum and the one I get to be a mother hen a fuss over, I simply adore our little bear.

Me , Pixie aka Mouse or little mama – Well I am Sub, masochist, littleish and housewife of the family. I can’t do pouting, stropping or being demanding , well not really, it just makes me feel odd. I am the one who keeps people organised and on track. I guess I could take house hold management to a different level. I am the pain slut of the group ,  it is my thing! (hmmm Pain!) I’m the one who is happiest making the rest shine and look good , who will sit quietly on the side lines. I am the one who love looking after people and the one who finds it hardest to show that I have a weak side, hell it only in the last few months that I will actually let people look after me when I’m sick! I’m the one who struggles with people saying they love me , with being told that they are clever or pretty or enough. i guess I’m the one with low self esteem and very little conference , but I’m also the one learning to let myself be loved and cared for. i guess I’m saying that I’m just me , little old Pixie!

Well that’s us then! last thing i will say , i was made to write the bit about myself as part of the on going ‘Punishment ‘ thing. Selling myself or say ‘oh i do this well’ is something that i really find hard to do. Lol i have to get Babe to write my CV for me , if i need to send one to a prospective client or with an article i have written or to people I’m going to be lecturing for. Self worth and i have what i would say is a strained relationship!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Oppss I did it again…..

Well world I have gone and landed myself in trouble , again, big trouble this time 😦 See this week has been massively full om for me. I have been writing courses content, presentation for a 3 day conferences and trying to sort classes out in the UK from the USA. I have been running around trying to be everything to everyone. I have been forgetting to eat at times and not taking naps when I need to. I have put myself down, I have allowed myself to be belittled by people and taken to heart some silly comments from unkind people. So Maîtriser has told me I have to list everything I have done and then the punishment for this and then post it on my blog. So here goes….

  1. I have not been eating my 3 meals a day and forgetting to have my 3 snacks a day.
  2. I have put myself down a total of 15 times in a row, even after being given warnings.
  3. I said I looked fat and that maîtriser is crazy for still wanting me when I’m fat and ugly .
  4. I pushed Kitten away when she trying to comfort me.
  5. I forgot to eat before bed on 3 nights, leading to 3 hypo .
  6. I refused to let Babe drive when I was tired and need her help.
  7. I grumped at my great Aunty May .
  8. I forgot to test my blood sugar levels for 3 days.
  9. I took a Skype call  from my Daddy with out someone with me.
  10. I took an email from my sister to heart, when she had no right to say what she did.
  11. I refused to take my afternoon naps.
  12. I took on more work than I could handle and refused help when it was offered.
  13. I refused help with my chores.
  14. I said I was fine when I came over faint in the groceries store.
  15. I went to mass when i was meant to be resting.

My punishment is as fallows. For the next 2 weeks maîtriser we chose what i wear, eat and how i spend all my free time. I am to take an afternoon nap between 3.30 pm and 4.30pm every day. I am to do everything i am told without answering back, if maîtriser is not about to tell me what I should be doing i must ask Babe. i have lost the right to my alone time for the 2 weeks . i am not allowed to speak to my sisters or father without maîtriser for the next 2 weeks. All emails, social media and blog post must be joked by maîtriser, Babe or Sir Beasty. I am to eat 3 times a day, have 3 healthy snacks a day and i must drink 3 litter of fluids a day. I am on a total caffeine ban for the next 2 weeks and i am not to have soda. i must have my phone with me at all times and i must not leave the house without Bella and one of the girls. i am not to go over 100000 steps in one day. i am not allowed to drive for 2 weeks, I must keep my diary and list all sleep, food and bs level in it. all this has been done for my own sake and i must try harder not to break my rules.

Well that’s it! See not all punishments are about spankings and kinky stuff. This for me has really hits me where it hurts , being made to very publicly admit what I have done and how i fucked up is really hard, to have my free time and freedom to answer back is going to be so hard. but i know that it’s done out of love , concern and so i look after myself better.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x