As a young girl, I had seen first kisses in the black and white films I would sit a watch with my nana on a rainy Saturday afternoon. The would always be the beautiful woman, with her handsome beau, who swept her in to his waiting arms and soundly kissed, and then held her to his chest and rested his check against hers. The was always music with sweep strings and a gentle wood wind section, that would build with the passion of the kiss. That’s what I thought my first kiss was going to be like, 1940’s frock and hair, handsome older guy and passion.
So, when I finally got my first kiss with a boy at the tender age of 14, well I was in for a very rude awaking! It was so far from what I got. He was older than me by all of 2 months. He was spotty, with overly gelled hair and stunk of lynx deodorant. It was on a cold November lunch time, behind the school kitchen. The was no sweeping music as he grabbed my face, stuck his tongue in my mouth and tried to stick his hand inside my shirt. The thing that really put me off was him sticking his tongue so far down my throat that I gagged on it. After that I kind of gave up on the whole idea of kissing boys and anyhow 5 weeks after ‘the kiss’ I got kicked out of that school and sent to a PRU (I had been kicked out of 3 schools already).
‘My second ever proper kiss could not have been more different from the first. For starters, it was with a girl. See from a real young age I have known that I was attracted to both boys and girls. I also knew that I liked girlie girl, boobs, bums and curves. Long hair, dresses, and lipstick. The wonderful girl I shared my second, first kiss with was almost perfect, she had long blond hair and this whole Jo Whiley post grange look going on. She had curves and boobs, but also a quiet conference that I now know that I love in a partner. It happened in the garden of a friend’s house, after a long day of sunbathing and after a few drinks. We were sat talking and suddenly, she leant over and just kissed me, barely touching her lips to mine. I pulled back in shock and she backed off straight away and started to apologise for miss reading thing. I did know more than lean in to her, shush her and kiss her again this time harder, but still with a soft touch and lightness that had been missing in my first kiss. After a few seconds, I felt her tongue brush against lower lip and I opened my mouth to let the kiss deepen. I got lost in those long minutes of gentle passion and soft creases. But when I felt her finger touch the underside of my breast, I ember pulling back, letting out a whimper and her asking if it was ok. Was it ok?! Hell yes! We moved closer together and carried on kissing and groping over clothes for what seemed like hours, but then we heard footsteps and we sprang apart. It wasn’t the last kiss we shared and she was the first women I made love to, it did not last long a few weeks if that. She went off to uni and I had exams and life to deal with. But I will always ember my second first kiss, with a fondness, a blush, and a tighting in my tummy.
Pixie x x x x