So up today on are Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s was the rather mind-blowing concept that D/s does not have to involve sex. Ok so D/s with full on kinky , toe curling , screaming orgasmic sex is Amazballs, but It’s not the be all and end all of things! I mean come on you have to talk, eat and do boring shit like that right?!?! I have to confess something here , cos I love kinky sex, but I have to say some of the best sex I’ve had been on my wedding and also the shagging Kitten on the sofa after a night a pub quiz. So yeah the was the D/s side to my wedding night of me keeping my collar on (I had a special one that had a pearl from my nana’s wedding dress and a sliver chain!) and behaving myself.
I have talked about the rules I have and my contract, I think that is a massive part of what keeps me focused on the D/s front. Maîtriser will be the first one to point out that none of his girls are perfect, but we know how to fallow are rules , to the letter. Yeah we break them and will some times push things, but it does not take him much to get us back in line. He has a way of saying ‘Enough’ or ‘Girl’ or ‘ watch you step missy’, that you just no means stop, right now, i mean it! He is also very creative on the old punishment front. For Babe just the threat of a spanking and she behaves! But for the rest of us, well pain is a friend, its likely to get us misbehaving faster than any thing! lol. No for me he seems to find things that he knows i find hard or make me think about what i did wrong. For getting angst about people coming to diner and saying i would fuck it up , i was made to stay in bed while made breakfast in my spotless kitchen! For putting myself 5 times in a row, i had to write down 20 amazing facts about myself and mail it to 5 people of his choice . One of the biggest for me was when i started leading and then run my own dog training classes, i would cry before going cos i did not think i could do it and i would beg to stay home and well hide. So he came with me, made me tell him what to do and the girls and he sat and watched me teach and helped with the class. It certainly made me stop and think , but also having him there was amazing as he is always so calm and believes in me , when i can’t . by the end of the 3 classes i was teaching , i knew i did well, that he and the girls where proud of me and i was high as a kite , cos i had really got forced out of my comfort zone on so many levels! (aw i had forgotten that night!)
Service is a big part of the D/s side of things in our little family. With four female subs and one Dom guy , well you would think the boss man never has to lift a finger, right?! Well no , we all have are own very special roles within are family, what makes it so awesome. The boss man really does give us are own little things to do to survive him. Mine is to keep his cloths looking perfect and to make sure he leaves for work looking smart and tidy. I also have the job of waking him up in the morning and I get to shave him and trim his beard on a sunday morning before going to mass. each of us girls have spacial things that he has set for each of us. We have what we call ‘house keeping showers’ they are the boss mans way of making sure we are shaved , clean and that we are sticking to the rules around the way we keep are bodies. But again it goes both way the are little things that he likes to do for us. We all get a 2 to 3 hour sort of ‘date’ every week. Kittens is always a training session or run , with coffee and a catch up afterwards. Little bear gets to go out for ice-cream or a dvd on the sofa , normally something Disney related. Babe is a game of poker or pool. Mine is normally going for a walk with the dogs, a 2 hour cuddle in bed or breakfast at a local café. (Don’t ever get me started on how much I love breakfast!)
Weirdly I also get the idea of having a D/s type relationships outside of a romantic one. I have a friend who I’ve never met, who has never been anything but a friend to me but he has from the start had away about him that make me calm , simmer down and do as I’m told. he now has the role as one of mine and the girl online protectors and also has the boss mans permission to tell me off, give me warnings and has come up with punishments in the past for rule breaks. it freaks me out some times , cos from the start I have trusted him and he always had this calm and confident manner that in need in my life . lol He even gets away with telling me to hush and stop sassing , and normally if someone other than the Frenchie or Babe said that to me outside of a club or home , well I would probably sass them back even more!
Closing thought is that yeah sex with in D/s is really important to me , but no you don’t always need it! D/s is a thing of many layers , like onions! (hey I have been watching shrek!) it can be done without sex, it can be done as just a control thing or as a simple way of friendship! What D/s really is , in my mind all about , is trust and it think that is a pretty awesome thing
Pixie x x x x