Well yesterday our topic Loving Bdsm’s 30 days of D/s was Community and are thoughts and views on it. We spent yesterday going to doctors, Looking at houses and Had are weekly girls date in the evening, but really for us we had 4 hours free in the afternoon. So we set up camp in the family room, colouring book, snacks, chocolate milk and the little mermaid on dvd. Yup , I know not kinky, not sexy and just what we all need. Hell even aunty May came down with her knitting and the hound slept on the sofa , snoring and wagging in her sleep, It was utter bliss! But we did discuss are kinky community.
For Babe, Kitten and myself we all met are Frenchman on the fetish scene in London in the late 90’s or early 00’s , blimey that sounds so long ago! The girls were both sub’s to him , but I was just Kitten’s subbie sort of girlfriend , with crappy boyfriend wanna be Dom. The clubs to me at least sort of blow my mind a little , not in a bad way. it was just that the was so many things to see and do and take in. The Two clubs that stick out in my mind are the mighty router Garden and the Epic Club Rub. Two clubs that were very different, but both very amazing . To me Touter Garden was more of an action packed club , With load industrial music , bright colours and dancers and performers . The was also a great deal of play , but also I remember getting sore feet from the hours I spent dancing. It was and still is , to me the club of clubs. It has an edge and rawness that I loved and still do , but I have for now stopped going. Being pregnant and anxious does not lend it’s self to crowds and load music. Club Rub , well that to me was the club where you had fun, learnt stuff and made friends. Down stairs had awesome music and a dungeon , upstairs had tables and chairs , where people could sit round and catch up. The times I play in the doungen , well they were heaven , you got lost in what was happening and being down to your body , all the time people standing round watching. Rub was where I learnt about my love of ropes and being tied up. it is where I leant what friendship really means. But the scene on a whole also taught me so much. It was the first place I could be 100 % myself , where i was not judge and where I learnt who I really am. (Highly Submissive , bi , poly super woman or batgirl , can never chose) .
Now on the whole I loved the time I spent on the scene and with people on it. But with any community the was a side that was less than attractive . I saw drug taking , however discreet. But unlike in a normal nightclub if people took too much or had drunk to much , instead of being kick out on the street and left to the mercy of the police . They would be ‘looked after’. Hell the where and still some amazing Dom who even if it’s not their sub or slave , who would step in and take charge. I sorry people in a very vulnerable state , treated with compassion and respect. I’m very proud to say that my Frenchie is on of them! The where also the people who took things to far or pushed to hard. I am sad I have seen a Dom with a bull whip , use it on a restrained sub who was crying and shaking . I know each Dom/sub relationship is different , but I personally think a dom should be able to read when they are pushing to hard. I think the aim is for a dom to make their sub look trusting and to enable them to make their don look Powerful and caring . Not to For Doms to look like a power-hungry A-hole! Again , sad to say I was a sub who took to much from their dom (Not my Frenchman) . The other thing that I hate where the ‘Wanky men’ Who stood in the corner watching and wanking, without asking if they could watch and wank, I kind of feel that is a violation .
I kind of drifted away from the scene, what with working in a different country , working 110 + hour weeks and from embarrassment of having a twat of a partner. I kept in touch with Kitten and a few other people, but as things with my ex got worse I found it really hard to and a few friends walked away as they had no idea how to help me. When things sort of exploded a few years back how ever and I went mad for a while, it was Kitten , Babe and the Frenchie that came to my rescue. I have family problems at the best of time , but they suck big hair balls when I need looking after or help. after I got my self stronger , my head together a little and started to be part of our little family. I started to want to go back to clubs , but sadly they were full of bad memories and would mean panic attacks. So for now we don’t go. but I am think a less full on event like a munch might be something. We also have friends that we see in privet and have are adult sleep overs at home. They are trusted friends of old , who the Frenchman has made me get back in contact with. it was really hard at first , so much stuff happened with my ex, and the is part of me that thinks it was my fault or that people blamed me for the things that happened . they don’t and it wasn’t , happy to say the ones who matter are back in my life!
I have now discovered the wonderful online world full of kinky people who are , well amazing. They are caring , respectful and what I need right now! I decided last year I wanted to try my hand at blogging and writing kinky stories, but never thought I would be able to do it, but I think the online community has been so amazingly epic with the help , support and encouragement. but I also feel like I am making friends and have like mind people to talk to. Being poly is the most amazing thing, but the are times when I want so me time, and with the others not in to social media , well that is my little bit of me time!
So Community is amazing and everyone should have it , but for me , right now I need small and trusted family. I so want to be back in the kinky really world , but I’m not ready just yet!
Pixie x x x x