So are topic that was up for debate in bed last night was rules and what kind we had in are D/s relationship?! Ah rules , let me tell you how I love rules!!! Ok so yeah , I love rules and I have a lot of them with maître. I have a contract , that is 14 pages long and I have it as a pdf on my Dropbox account! No , really I do! But it’s what works for me. The other girls have contracts too. Babes is only 2 pages and Kitten and bears are 4 or 5 pages. Mine is longer , as I wanted or more like needed things to be very clear to me and maître as to how I wanted things to be. No I’m not a control freak, it stems from being in a relationship that had no rules, no boundaries and that ultimately did me a great deal of harm.
So I thought It might be fun to explain my contract, for it is a thing of extreme beauty! I’m going to also make a point of saying that maître went as far as have friends witness us signing it . this contract has been I use since this time last year and is the third one I have had with maître, each one gave him more and more control , at my asking. We sit down once every 3 months and go over it and see if things need to be changed at all. it covers pretty much every aspect of my life. from how I act , to what I do , what I wear and who I can see and speak to.
The first 2 pages cover the rights and obligations of the submissive and Dominate. this covers how we wants things to work and stuff that we expect from each other. mine state that maître will look after me , guide me and take care of me . that I am allowed to think for myself, ask questions and to not be micro-managed. That I belong to maître , that I’m his to be used as he sees fit and that no one may touch me without asking you first. maître part sates his right over me and the things that he promised me. with them it states that I have given him the right to step in and take control if he feels I have taken on too much or if people bullying me. He has the right to use my body in any way , at any time and any place he wants, unless I’m sick or on my period. He has promised to never do drugs , drink to excess or allow any one to smoke around me or any part of our house. (I have chronic lung damage and a drug selectivity problem, smoke and nicotine , even second-hand make me really sick 😦 ) . the other things are about him helping to become a happy , healthy and strong submissive woman.
Next up is general rules, these cover things such as saying please and thank you, how maître is to be greeted when he comes home from work, bed time etiquette and are no shouting in the house rue. It also covers what time I am allowed to spend with my family , that I can’t see my mother or my daddy without him or one of the girls with me and what I’m meant to do if my mother has been drinking or becomes verbally abusive. Rule 13 always makes me giggle. it is as follows:
13) a) I am not allowed to touch any large electric objects (tv / fridge) without you being home. b) I must not climb on or stand on chairs, stools or ladders at any time. I must ask Babe or Kitten to pass me anything that is out of my reach. c) I must not try to fix iPad, iPod, my phone, laptop, the sky box or the Wi-Fi, at any time. That is your job.
This was put in cos I’m the most accident prone person alive! It also states that I am responsible for the running of the house and for giving the other girls jobs to help with the smooth running of the are home. The last rule in this section states that I am his submissive and his alone. That I am allowed to stand up for myself , as long as I do it in a polite , calm and respectful manner.
then it moves on to communication. This covers things like how I greet the Boss in the morning , how I am to speak to other Dom and their subs and to normal every day manners. It also makes it clear that I am to tell maître if I am feeling unwell, overly anxious or tired. It also says that I’m to be polite and well-mannered even if I am anxious , because I can get a little rude when worried. It also covers my emails, social media use and blog post. maître has access to all of them and so does Kitten. lol the only way I was allowed a blog was if Sir Beasty was a co on it and that he knows the WordPress, Hotmail and Twitter pass words. this might seem like over kill , but I freely agreed to it , as it made me feel safer and if I have another pout of depression , well everyone will know.
Next is public behaviour, this is where it gets very strict! it covers how I must acted towards you, how I carry myself and how I must talk to people. It states I’m not to answer you back, swear in public or to move from maître’s side unless I ask to. It also covers a couple of things of sexual nature that I have to do if asked. it tells me that I must carry myself with grace and poise at all times and act in a lady like manner. Also if I’m on my own that I have to hold my head high , use eye contact and speak in a polite , upbeat tone , at all times.
We then moved on to how I act and behave in clubs. I love clubs , but I also find them really hard, with all the noise and crowds. The are also a lot of people who knew me with my ex and that brings up sad and distressing memories , but again as with every problem that I have, I’m working on over coming it! It covers what I can wear , who I can talk to and what I can do with and without maître. the girls and I are allowed to go off and play with each other or with other subs that maître and their Dom have given us permission to. I also have a list of people who keep an eye on me. What can I say I have a really protective maître and that is one thing I really love.
Next up are my Home rules , these are very specific . they tell me that clothes are warned between 7am and 8 pm , but between 8pm and 7am the only cloths that I can wear are posh undies (I love lacy and silky things) or panties and one of maître t-shirts (I have his superman or star wars ones). We are not allowed to wear shoes at home (maître likes his girls in bare feet) , but I am allowed sleepers , as I’m diabetic and have to take extra care of my feet! it covers what me and the girls may do with each other and that if we want to fuck we have to ask if we are allowed first (maître gets a lot of text asking that!) we have to tidy up after every thing we do , no phones or tech at mealtimes and home work is to be done at the kitchen table. I’m in charge of keeping the bedroom how maître likes it, the rules for that are as follows.
12 a) Our bedroom is to be clean and tidy at all times. b) Sheets are to be changed every 3 days. c) All toys must be cleaned after use. d) I will ensure that the bedside table is stocked with condoms lube, fresh batteries, tissues and tiger balm at all times. e) the on suit must have clean towels and toiletries at ,all times. f) Porn is only allowed to be watch in the bed room, unless we are holding a play sleepover.
We then move on to attire , this covers how I am allowed to dress and what cloths I must wear when. it also covers that it is my job to keep maître’s cloths washed, iron and in good order. We also as a family have a lot of rules around are collars , they are :
: 1) a) I must wear my collar at all times, but it may be removed for medical treatment. b) My day-to-day collar (silver chain, with two joined o rings) is to be worn at all times, except in bed or at a club. c) My pink or purple ribbon collar is to be worn in bed. d) My purple studded collar or kitten collar, with my Mouse tag attached are to be worn at clubs, and you may attach a lead if you wish. e) It is your duty to change my collar, but I must give you the right one at the right time. . trust me we do not deviate from this at any point. I really love my collar and to me is a sign of my submission and do not like have to take it off. My everyday collar got broken when I was having hospital treatment and I dissolved in to tears. the poor nurse must have thought I was mad!
Then we move on to rules that cover my body and what I can do to it , they are as follows:
Body: 1) My body is to be free of hair (under arm / legs / pubic). Under arms to be shaved daily and legs and pubic hair waxed every 10 days. (by Sam)
2) I am to get weekly manicure. Nails are to be kept short. I may wear pink, purple, red or black nail varnish.
3) I will get pedicures ever 3 weeks. My toe nails are to always be painted. My feet are to be kept smooth and soft. I am to have daily foot rubs from maître (special time)
4) I am to get my eyebrows threaded every 10 days and my eye lashes tinted every month.
5) a) I am to get my hair cut every 8 weeks. b) I am to get my hair coloured every 12 – 14 weeks. c) I am not allowed to change the style or colour of my hair without permission. d) I am to wear my hair down and natural at all times. I may tie it back to cook, work, clean or exercise.
6) I am to wear 3 earrings in each ear. I must wear plan rings or bars in my nipple and clit piercings. They may be changed to fancy ones, for clubs or the bedroom, but it is up to you to change them.
7) tattoos are to be covered as much as possible in polite company
8) I am to be available to have my body inspected at any time you feel like it
Again these do not get deviated from.
Next up for me are my rules around my health , I’m going to skip over these as they are as boring as hell and I really don’t like to talk about my physical health that much. I have shit lots of problems. I guess the same can be said for the rules that fall under mental. they cover me going to therapy , the mindfulness and self-care stuff I have to do and me keeping my diary . they are very personal and they have been put in at maître’s want. I’m fighting depression, GAD and recovering from PTSD. I’m doing really well , but it’s hard to talk about at times! My health rules also cover what exercise I’m allowed to do and that I have to do 30 minutes a day, other walking my dogs!
Next come my personal House hold and fiscal rule. I’m the one who runs are home. I asked to be allowed to do this. I learnt how to take care of the house and home by my nana. My nana was a very strong woman and she taught me how to cook , clean , care for babies and children and how to do it with a smile. My grandpa was a master printer for the times and was very much the Dominate bread-winner, but nana was just a strong as he was and they were married , very happily for 45 years, till cancer took him from are lives. My job in running the house mean that I run the household , the girls, maître’s , my own and my work diaries. (trust me that is not an easy thing to do) I plan all the meals and do the food shopping (online) I do the cooking and cleaning , but the girls have to help with this. (it’s the only time I tell any one what to do) maître put in the rule that I am not allowed to clean for more than 2 hours a day, as when I am really anxious I can get a little ocd. On the final side of things , I ask maître to have total control over my finances . Not because I am hopeless with them or have no money. I make a good living as a dog trainer and behaviorist, I in fact earn almost as much as maître. The house we live in is mine and I own it out right . I have no debut and keep my out goings very low. I do have ever have a family that is always on the take and a big problem saying no to them. So maître took over money maters so I don’t end up giving it all away! I have a budget to stick to when buying food and house hold supplies, I get £ 50 a week to spend on anything I want and I have to ask maître’s punishment to spend more than £20 on things that I don’t ‘Need’. I have a credit card to buy petrol, food and anything my dogs need. the only thing I don’t need to ask punishment to spend money on are things for the dogs or treatment for the dogs. (love my fur babies)
Then is the section I love the most , are my rules and responsibilities towards maître. they are:
D/s 1) I’m to wake you in the mornings by going down on you.
2) I’m to shower with you 3 times a week, so you may inspect every part of my body.
3) I must keep your wardrobe in perfect order at all times.
4) I am to shave you on Sunday mornings.
5) I am to allow myself to be loved, respected, trusted and liked. I will remember that I am worthy of your love . I take the role of submissive as it makes me feel whole and at ease, but above all we are partners in life .
This is my special time rules!
Lastly on the rules front are rule to do with sex. They range from touching while having oral sex , to no masturbating without asking first to swallowing at all times. I’m not allowed to touch the toy box without asking first or play with the girls without asking. I am allowed to initiate sex, but never be the aggressor (not sure that is the right term?!?!)/ I also have a way of indicating I’m horny in public , by placing my hand on the boss’s tummy. He then finds a way of giving relief. I LOVE this rule cos its lead to some awesome out doors sex, fingering under the table in restaurants and on several ocasions to Kitten being made to go down on me in a quiet corner. (YUMMY)
The last part covers my limits, are way of dealing with rule breaks and punishments. Then the is a list of online and real-time ‘ Protectors’ . Now that would seem a little bit like over kill , but it really isnt . We have very recently had a bit of an attack on are little family. All are laptops , social media and banking stuff got hacked. But because some of are online protectors noticed odd thing, the boss stepped in and got it sorted.
So that is my / are take on rules and what I/ we wanted and felt I needed. I know it is not for everyone , but it really does help me as a submissive and it does work for me !
Pixie x x x x