So today’s hot topic of breakfast discussion is Safe words and what they mean to you. (Loving , Loving BDSM 30 days of D/s)) . Just adding todays breakfast Is a little bit different from my normal breakfast , firstly I actually talked to people (I know right!!), I was formally allowed to tell the world I’m pregnant and we have been joined in New Jersey by My Great Aunty May for the next 2 weeks! I think maîtres asked her to come out to keep an eye on us while he has to work, but I don’t care. Aunty May is Awesome and super fun! Any , safe words….
Right so yeah I have 2 safe words, Dearg and Buidhe. Buidhe is Gaelic for orange and Dearg is red. For me Buidhe is used when things start to get a little too much , if it is hurting to much and also for if I start to feel panicky. I am also allowed to hold eye contact maîtres for 3 seconds as well. if I use it in a play session or at a club he will back off a little and will always check if I’m ok to go on. If i use it in a social situation he knows i need to take a breather or to speak to him privately . I have and do use it a lot , i know he will always act pone it and it is instantaneity. Dearg is only to ever be used when i cant take things any more , when i need things to end straight away and if i am freaky out. I know that maîtres will move heaven and earth to stop things , to make me feel safe and to stop any harm that could derail all the hard work i have in to get myself well. In the 2 years and a bit years we have been together i have never had to use it once.
As for not having a Safe word , well if that floats your boat then coolio! But for me Safe words are a hugely about trust. Firstly having come from a place of not having one and a partner who would not stop and me thinking that i had to toughen up and deal with it. To someone saying , hay I’ll stop when you say and i mean it , well that is a huge thing and it has taught men that i very much have a choice in what i do . But also on the flip side its a big thing for maîtres to. I don’t hide the fact that i tried to kill myself a couple of years ago and before that i hid a lot of stuff from maîtres, even though at he time we were just friends at the time. It took a lot for maîtres to forgive me for hurting myself and for him to trust that i would tell him if i could not handle things. So yeah, we have them and we use them. they work a little different to most and they mean the blinking world to me!
Pixie x x x x