So yesterday’s topic of discussion on the 30 days of D/s list was ‘how do you communicate?’ . Very cool topic, but it did get are little bear one of the worst punishments she could be given for saying ‘ well you open your mouth and start talking’. Yes a tad cheeky , but no Poptarts for a week, really?!? lol Love my fluffy little bear and that smart mouth of hers!
communication is not all about talking, it’s a lot about listening too! it’s comes in many form as well , verbal and none verbal. it’s about body Language and facial expression . It is something I find really hard to get right. Hell I am working with a therapist at the moment on learning how to communicate better. Give my a group of dogs and I can tell you straight away what is going on, no problems , give me a group of people and I am loster than a lost thing (go easy I have been up since 4.30 am, thanks to kitten!)
Lets look at the verbal side of thing first shall we? I have found that most people will say one thing and mean something else. I find this really confusing and used to get in all sorts of trouble as a kind for just asking people if that was what they really mean. (apparently it’s not the done thing!) I have a mild form of autism and I find it really hard to figure out what people are really saying. I can’t judge tone of voice or emotion in voices very well , but I’m getting better. I also don’t always realise my tone of voice is not always operate for the situation. lol when I was retraining as a dog trainer , my mentor actually got me to work with an acting coach , to help me to learn how to have a happy , upbeat relaxed tone for teaching , a firm and clear tone for dealing with the grumpy husband customers and to show emotion and empathy when I had bad news. Really helped! So in are house , we have a rule that we always say what we mean.
As a house hold I think we are pretty good on the talking and listening front. I mean we all like talking to each other and we listen to what each other is saying. We have a house meeting once a week that keeps things on and even quell . thinking about it , we all have very slightly different styles of talking and listening. The boss man is really calm , but also has a really good way of being able to make people talk. (you can’t keep secrets from him) . But he also has a way of smiling and chuckling that makes us all shut up! (and panties wet!) kitten is the most easy to talk to person in the world and has away of always finding a bright side to something , even when its something very bleak. Babe well She is the one I take with me to see the bank manager , she is a top negotiator! Little bear is , well she is just fruit loop! but she is gets everyone to laugh and is the person to take with you if you have to visit a sick friend. Me well I try to be a good listener and to say sensible things. but I am really prone to talking way to much and total crap when I get nervous, which is a lot of the time, so yeah! lol. I also have a habit , a very bad one of when I’m sad or upset of not talking and trying to hide away. maîtriser says that if I go quiet and shy then something is wrong.
I love non verbal communication. I like how subtle it can be. maîtriser has a way of standing up straight, shoulders back and head held high , that means do not fuck with me. the is a way he swagger in to the bedroom that you just know what he wants and is about to do. he also has a cheeky grin that melts your heart and gets you to do what he wants. He also has this thing he does if any of us get grumpy or cranky. We will be talking to him and he will raise an eyebrow in such that it is impossible not to laugh at him, to which he either tickles or gives you a hug! We also have a thing that if we are nerves we are allowed to hold eye contact with maîtriser and he will remove us from playing or quietly ask what is wrong and fix it. HeHe , but if you ever end up round any of us and we put a hand flat on your tummy , well that means ‘i’m horny and need relief, NOW!’ likewise if maîtriser bite a neck or shoulder , it is his code for ‘ were fuck , and i mean right now’.
Maîtriser is also very good a using very few words to speak volumes . If we are acting up and he growl ‘girl’ we stop straight away. ‘hold still’ is another one of his that means stop wriggling and behave’ But the one that turns me to mush every time is , the three little words I get every lunch time , ‘hows my girl’. (yes I make myself want to puke sometimes too!)
So after all that sentimental waffling… I’m going to add that are house is pretty much full of laughter and a lot of the time it is confused laughter. See English is not my first or second Language . I grow up speaking a mix of Gaelic and Russian. I also speak English , Arabic, German , latin and Polish. Kitten is a native Polish and Dutch speaker. Babe speaks Welsh and Italian as her first langues. Little bear is English , but her dad is from Spain and her mum is Grease. maîtriser as you may have gathered is half French and Half Italian , so he normally speaks a mix of the 2 . So conversations can have a multitude of meanings! haha , I once helped a lady out in a petrol station as her English was ropy and got told by the Arab guy that I was very good at oral and got a free hot milk! lol
Anyway , I’m off to go hike to see a lighthouse! (long story , but it’s my treat!)
Pixie x x x x