So today , well last nights topic of discussion with Loving BDSM 30 days of D/s was conflict in D/s and how we handle it. Now I have to admit that I / we changed the title straight away to falling outs and differences in opinions. Not that the is anything wrong with the title , but just the word Conflict is one of those words , that to me brings up very sad memories , that I find it hard to talk about or think about.
Let me explain. I was born and raised in Belfast . I grow up in the Shankill area of the city. Half my daddy’s family is from southern Ireland and half is Northern Irish, half Catholic and Half protestant. I was raised and still am a catholic, but growing up in the troubles and especially coming from the Shankill area was horrid. I grew up with bombings, being walked to and from school by the fathers and the sisters , people going missing and with English soldiers walking the roads with their guns. I Would not of swabbed my up bring for the most part. I come from Close family , who although they drive me up the wall, I love with my whole heart. But no child should see some of the things I did , to go to bed frightened and to of seen the violence I did . That is why I grimiest when people say they have major ‘Conflict’ at home. it makes me want to say to them, ‘ no mate you have troubles or falling outs, not bloody conflict!’ Sorry rant over!
So back to how we handle fillings out and differing opinions . Well as with everything we have rules about that type of thing. Firstly if someone does stuff that bugs us , instead of letting it fester away , we politely tell the person and ask them to stop doing it. Sounds way harder than it is , but you would amazed at how well it works! We also have family meetings once a week and that is the time we raise things that need to be sorted out. things like Bear always leave the top off the tea caddy, kitten dropping towels on the bedroom floor , Babe coming in and turning the TV over and me always forgetting to hang the dogs leads up. Lol All us girls even took a stand against maître and his sing of Justine Bieber songs! (I mean dude your like 52 years old!) . We also have a no swearing rule and a swear jar. We also have a no shouting rule, that was put in place as I suffer from PTSD and bear is really noise sensitive.
If we have a differing opinion from maître, again we talk about as soon as it happens and we don’t let it fester away. All he asks is that we don’t raise are voice , we are polite and listen to what he has to say on the matter. But we also know that everything he asks of us , is done with are wellbeing at heart and is done with love. If we are out and we think his being silly , over protective or if we don’t agree with him or if feel unable to cope with stuff , we ask politely and quietly to speak in privet with him. Again it seems to work a treat. it may seem odd that we don’t just do as we are told and that are Lovely Dom does not rule with a sort of iron will, but his not like that. he is a quiet man, who is calm and understanding. he shocks me by the depth of emotion n and feel that he is willing to show. it makes me smile to remember him saying to me before we got together , that he likes his submissive with brains and wills of their on , that he loves the ones who have spirit and fight in them. it means they feel and love with all of their souls!
strangely the one time we are likely to fall out is at dinner time. That is why I put in place my nana’s rule of no talk of history, politics , religion , spot or other people business at the meal table! haha she raised 11 kids and 47 grand kids and I don’t think I ever saw one fight at dinner!
maître says the is one week a month that he fears for his safety. Well living with for females does come with that’s a down side. He makes sure the house is full of Wine , chocolate , chick flick , ice cream and tissues , and if all that fails he hides in the pub for a few days!
of course we have times we will grump at each other or piss someone off. If that happens we get made to hug each other , cos you can’t want to hate someone your hugging, right??? (my nana again, very wise lady!)
So that’s us and are ways of dealing with fulling outs and differing opinions!
Pixie x x x x x
Ps a song that reminds me of the town I loved so well! The High kings – The town i loved so well